I genuinely *like* d20, and I am truly sorry you do not, and I am also sorry that the fact that I do apparently angers you so.
My frustration has nothing to do with how much you like d20. It has everything to do with your intransigence over the possibility of playing/learning a new system. This has been a regular aspect of my gaming experience and I enjoy nothing more than introducing friends to something I happen to enjoy immensely. It has become more and more clear, however, that this particular facet of my particular perspective, particularly when combined with my preference for non-heroic, gritty survival style gaming (something the d20 system is ultimately poorly suited to portraying, but that's not what it's designed for) creates a situation in which I will never be particularly in tune with the rest of this group. That's fine, people seek different things in their gaming experience. I am just put off by the unwillingness to try.
However, when we do so, I'd rather concentrate on experiencing the story, and the world, rather than learning a new way to initiate a grapple, make an attack, etc.
This strikes me as particularly ironic, as whenever someone throws some new combat aspect in, someone has to look up the rules just about every time. Learning a new system is generally no less disruptive. Of course it may take a session or two before people feel more comfortable with what's going on, but there's no reason it has to detract from the other elements you consider vital to a good game. Indeed, I would argue that the system can have an intimate relation to the gaming experience. Such systems can be vital to helping create the atmosphere of a world (a more lethal system tends to breed caution etc). It will, at least, provide something new, and possibly refreshing, from the same old, ordinary good vs evil cliches of a typical D&D game. But I suspect I am the only one in this particular group with those types of inclinations.
Finally, it's somewhat ridiculous to base this kind of decision-making on experience in role-playing. I probably played three or four different systems in my first year of gaming, with varying degrees of success, for sure, but usually there was someone with more experience leading the way. Of course, there were cases where we were all neophytes trying to learn a new game and though we certainly did not get everything right the first few tries, it has led to some of my most enjoyable gaming moments. But I would never have had the opportunity if I had adamantly stuck to what I knew.
Clearly there are very different philosophies clashing here and clearly, if I'm going to continue gaming with this group I'm going to have to suck it up and deal with it. If my frustration continues, it may simply be better for everyone if I drop out and pursue my gaming interests elsewhere.