Aging and Gaming

[PrunellaUK]

Makes sense to me.

An alternative to going rules light is to play a system your players know - as in get off the “new edition” bandwagon.

That's the thing. I want to break the D&D addiction. So I think a lot about how to clear that hurdle.

 

[Joshua Randall]

Although I mourned the death of 4e, I did enjoy how I went from “hated supporter of the current unpopular edition” to “beloved yet cranky grognard who still plays that old edition and is therefor mostly harmless.”

 

[Joshua Randall]

That's the thing. I want to break the D&D addiction. So I think a lot about how to clear that hurdle.

I can tell you from personal experience: be the change you want to see ~~in the world~~ at your game table.

The players will piss and moan and not everything you bring to the table will be a hit, but if you never try something new with the group, you’ll… never try something new with the group.

 

[MNblockhead]

My experience is that it was a thousand times easier to schedule games in my teens and twenties. Only as an adult have I had regular flaking, to the point that in a group of 6 players there was more than once that only a single player showed, and of the 5 that didn't show, only 1 or 2 gave me notice more than an hour in advance.

But that said, I'm in SoCal, where I feel like it's a cultural norm that everyone decides on what they are doing at the last possible second. And whether or not they'll tell you is anyone's guess.

Absolutely bonkers, if you ask me.

With the necessary "IME" caveat, I have found this to be a regional difference. Again, IME, I've found...

California - people will casually commit to a date/meeting and just as casually cancel at the last minute.

Midwest - tentatively commit but will get back to you. Milwaukee has a bit more directness. Minnesota, even in the Twin Cities tend to be far more passive about and it much more apologetic when plans have to be cancelled.

Taiwan/China - a lot like the midwest with the added complication of making sure you decline/cancel plans in a way that "saves face." I don't want to over emphasize this, but I have found that in China and Taiwan people can take it personally if you decline/cancel plans, especially if overly direct about it.

India, I only have more formal planning experience. Business meetings seemed more planned for and tend to last a lot longer than other places I've lived and worked. It was rare to have meetings cancelled, especially at the last minute. I don't know how the translates to planning with family and friends.

New York - Even though I'm a midwesterner, I've always been more comfortable with NYC directness. Far more comfortable in saying "no" and if you commit to something you are held to it unless you cancel ahead of time.

Nowhere I've lived and worked have been as casual about committing to and then cancelling plans as my experiences in Los Angeles.

 

[MNblockhead]

I dunno…

For us as 40s and 50s if we say we will be there we will be there.

And they called us the slacker generation. ;-)

Actually, it think it is that when you are in your 40s and 50s, you live by you calendar. Often work responsibilities are highest at this age and there is a good chance that at this age you've been coordinating your kids' schedules with yours and your spouses. You also likely have more medical related scheduling. Then there are aging parents. Add one or more pets. You just get conditioned into living by your calendar.

 

[MNblockhead]

I live just east of Los Angeles, and I can't say I've seen much of that. Though perhaps I've simply counterselected for it over the years.

My experience in LA saw a lot of that. I'm willing to admit that maybe I just rubbed Angelenos the wrong way, but they were too polite to tell me that to my face.

 

[MNblockhead]

Using this as a starting point from the post I wanted to write for a long time:
I found that you can trick yourself a bit into learning things if you have a hobby or other driver to spend the necessary time. If I look back at the past decade, then RPGs provided the initial momentum to get into a lot of things I might otherwise have delayed for a longer time or even never picked up - e.g. RPG streams brought me to Twitch, and subsequently also motivated me to re-activate my dormant Twitter and Reddit accounts; and though Discord feels a bit like IRC + Teamspeak for people with mobiles, I'm not sure if I would have started actively using it without RPG communities and online play; even for digital reading, the main motivation was to get an iPad was RPG PDFs and sketching maps.
And there's similar examples for other areas (e.g. doing a deep dive on Machine Learning in the preparation for a new job role, or finally getting a Smartwatch for health reasons). So I feel sometime it just needs a little nudge to get you started and after a bit of adjustment time, new things often actually don't look too bad.
I do agree, though, that this requires deliberate effort now while it came pretty much naturally in my 20s. And maybe it helped a bit that I spent most of my 30s doing a PhD, so cramming obscure stuff into my brain was pretty much required.

More generally, I am mid 40s now, so a bit younger than OP, but I have noticed some of the things other people have mentioned before. The obvious thing is readability of text, but here I can say that I held the opinion that RPG books would better be digest size and have at least somewhat larger fonts for a few years already. I have also noticed especially in the past few years that my body has settled for a generally lower energy level, so even ignoring scheduling issues, very long sessions are looking less attractive (maybe I will be able to bump it up a bit again with more exercise, but that remains to be seen). And finally, in what is probably a bit of a bleak outlook, I have estimated that at the current playing speed (one sessions per week, which is what I can confortably fit into my week), statistically speaking I have roughly 40 campaigns left until I take my final rest. This doesn't completely stop me from liking and reading new systems, but it made me realize that some big projects and campaigns will probably never happen.

Beyond that, the past few years have solidified my preference for medium-crunch systems and I ended up finding that (neo-/modern) trad and OSR systems probably work best for me, but I tend to say that's more a function of gaming age than biological age.

I find that the general principle here is the same for me, but that it manifest differently. In terms of tech, I have fully embraced VTTs, and Foundry with loads of community mods, at that. But decades of working with complex technology likely has a lot to do with that. But also, I like letting the technology handle the parts of the game I find less enjoyable. A good example is that I love games with lots of random tables like Dungeon Crawl Classics and Warhammer Fantasy RPG, but I hate, hate, hate flipping through books or reference sheets, rolling, and finding the result. Having those rolls automated gives all the flavor and none of the grind. AOE effects and tracking conditions, and initiative trackers in general, are another example. I wouldn't play crunchier games like Warhammer Fantasy or even D&D 5e if I had to do all of it manually--or, at least, I would run very different, less complicated, encounters and stick to lower-level play. Even with in-person games, I'll use tools like Hero Lab, Purple Sorcerer, or even a VTT with a public-facing second monitor to help run crunchier games with more complicated tactical encounters.

What TTRPGs have helped trick my old brain into learning new tricks are things that some of the more indie, rules light games have encourage. Namely, improve and more role vs roll playing. InSPECTREs is a favorite example as it requires HEAVY "yes, and" improv, and a incorporate some heavy thespian aspects (such as the "confession booth" mechanic), which makes for a great beer and pretzles, zany one shot. Something I don't think younger me would have taken to.

The one difference I see in myself from many posters here is that I can't stand short game sessions. I would rather give up on frequency and run longer games. I run an 8 hour game session, once a month. Total amount of totally tuned-in gaming is probably only six hours. But having a longer session feel like you aren't trying to force anything. You can hang out a bit and the game can take some twist and turns and still accomplish something by the end of the session. The value of longer sessions for me was driven home by my last convention. Other than quick learn-to-play sessions, anything under four hours was unfulfilling for me. I would rather play a board game than a 2-3 hour TTRPG session.

 

[MNblockhead]

That's the thing. I want to break the D&D addiction. So I think a lot about how to clear that hurdle.

It is tough. With older players, as an older GM I'm pulled in two directions. In one direction, I was easier to run games, so I can focus more on story and world building and less on rules arcana. In the other direction, older players are comfortable with D&D. Also, while D&D (whatever edition, or Pathfinder, or other variants) are crunchier, but it is easier to find players who are familiar with the rules and can take some of the load off the GM in terms of rules expertise.

Also, many older and more experienced players like crunchier games with more character options to play with. For all of its flaws, D&D offers an experience that can keep people engaged for many years. I find that harder to offer with other games. I can with Warhammer Fantasy, but that is crunchier than D&D 5e.

Also, my current players are mostly interested in the fantasy genre and sci fi and supers TTRPGs are not really an option for a long term campaign for my group.

Then, when I do find a very different system, that I really like, often there just isn't much adventure or setting material for it, which requires a much greater amount of work on my part to run it. I would love to kitbash my own system from Cortex Prime. I really like the core mechanics of that system, but I just don't have the time to put together a bespoke campaign for it, even if I am willing to roll up my own system based on its options.

So, for non-D&D that has me running Warhammer Fantasy. I'd also like to run the DCC Dying Lands setting but the lack of good VTT support is keeping me away from it. I've also backed Ember and am hoping to run it with the Crucible system instead of 5e. But these are also crunchier fantasy systems. So, rather than breaking my "D&D addiction", I feel like D&D was a gateway drug to even stronger TTRPG drugs.

 

[payn]

I was rolling some Battletech tonight at the FLGS. Something reminded me of a Jim Carey movie reference. I said, “kick his ask sea bass… remember that?” I just got blank stares and they asked me what it was from. I couldn’t remember the movie name but it didn’t matter the kids had no idea.

That made me think of this thread.

 

[timbannock]

I was rolling some Battletech tonight at the FLGS. Something reminded me of a Jim Carey movie reference. I said, “kick his ask sea bass… remember that?” I just got blank stares and they asked me what it was from. I couldn’t remember the movie name but it didn’t matter the kids had no idea.

That made me think of this thread.

Dumb and Dumber, and this story makes me sad.