D&D 5E Anti-DM Tips (AKA what NOT to do!)

[Sunseeker]

49 if a PC dies or is knocked unconscious, prevent the player from rolling a new character or going for pizza; they just have to sit at the table without speaking (IC or OOC).

52. Once the session is over tell them that you don't expect the party to be a place where a new character can be introduced for several more sessions, but that you expect them to keep attending and doing nothing while there.

 

[Li Shenron]

53. Deck of many things

Really... over 50 and this hasn't come up yet?

 

[pdzoch]

54. Don't keep track of important NPCs in your campaign. Feel free to change their names or make up new one when you forget. Remember, as DM, your memory trumps player notes.

 

[Mad_Jack]

55. Entertain your veteran players by frequently referencing past editions - nostalgically name your important NPCs Emirikol, Bargle, Lareth, Rary or Warduke, and have a number of people in town repeatedly mistake the party rogue for someone named Blackleaf...

 

[guachi]

I'd be ecstatic if any of them actually recognized any of those names.

 

[transtemporal]

56. The boss always has one hp left, no exceptions.

 

[BoldItalic]

57. Delay the start of each session by d6x5 minutes waiting for a fictional other player who never arrives. This will give you time to prepare today's session, which you haven't done.

 

[LarryD]

58. Tells players certain races are not allowed for campaign; then lets their significant other/best friend roll that race for the same campaign.

 

[Lanliss]

58. Tells players certain races are not allowed for campaign; then lets their significant other/best friend roll that race for the same campaign.

This can be chained to force whatever party composition you want. Allow one player, preferably you significant other or someone who bribed you, choose whatever they want. Then proceed to cut classes and races as you come to each player, until the party has the exact composition you want for your campaign.

 

[Demorgus]

Pick one player that you will always respond with, "yes, and..." and then tell the rest of the players no frequently.