Anticipatory Grief

I'm in exactly the same boat with my golden retriever. She'll be 14 in January, and a few months ago she was so sick, that we took her to the vet with the understanding that "today might be the day", but we were advised to "give her the weekend" and she got better.

She has mobility issues, and acts somewhat strangely (compared to how she used to).

It's tricky, because I don't want to hold onto her for my own sake, but I also don't want to put her down for my sake, either. She still seems pretty happy, but then, she's a golden retriever. They're generally happy by nature!

I guess that might be the point where we pull the plug. If she ever truly struggles to get up, or if she doesn't seem happy anymore. It's my best guess, anyway.

I gave my guy a lot of leash. Ahem...

By the end he had quite a few issues, and I had given him the talk several times, but he always got better, was always happy.

Eventually age caught up and he did something to his back/hip, and it was obviously time, in an emergency kind of way.

He was 15ish, a rescue, and even though it's been over a year, I don't know that I'll get over him really.
 

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Something with an old cat I had was that we kept him around for far too long. His last few months/weeks were just a painful life for him.

Sometimes it is better to let them have a peaceful death by putting them to sleep then to let them suffer for your sake.

They die happier than they do when they are in constant pain.

If there is no hope in the pet getting better and only a downward spiral, I'd say brace oneself for the day and time it so that they don't have to suffer, but let them go gracefully into the night for their sake, even if you will feel the pain all the more.
 

We had to put our 14 year old dog to sleep yesterday, we decided this last Friday after having some serious doubts a week earlier, things got worse, not better. This was not shocking news, our dog was old, he had many ailments that started to seriously stack. I'm not the main caregiver for the dog, that's my mother, who's 78. I couldn't step in because he would get seriously distressed when he lost sight of her for more then a minute or two, and sight was these days maybe 60cm (2 feet). I was getting seriously worried about my mothers health due to the extended care needed for the family dog (lack of sleep + stress + depression).

The three days before it actually happens, but when you've actually decided on a course, it's hard, very hard! There are always doubts, especially at first. Did you do the right thing? What was really worrying was that the dog was getting worse quickly in those three days. I even worried that he might not make the weekend...

After it's done, there's a certain level of relief that IT has happened. There is a strong feeling of loss and sadness, as a part of the family is gone. And at certain times when your guard is low and you're tired you forget he's gone and you think "Need to cuddle the dog." or "We're doing this, how are we handling the dog.".

The past five decades we've had dogs, cats, rabbits, hamsters, etc. This was the first time that it was this unclear for us, in previous cases it was either sudden serious illnesses, or complications from those where it was obvious what decision to make. Here it was very long not that clear cut, but I think that if we didn't make the decision last Friday we would have certainly have made it yesterday.

Gone, but not forgotten. 🐶

@Umbran The not knowing is probably the worst, I hope you can get some earlier results/consult then in two weeks.
 


Celebrating the wins...

We have a telehealth consult with an oncologist later this week, which might move us forward more quickly.

Also, prednisone is magic. The cat had been hiding in a comfy warm cubby upstairs since we'd gotten back from the clinic on Saturday.

An hour and a half after her first dose of prednisone, she was back snuggling with us on the couch purring her little head off.

She had shown some improvement in eating with anti-nausea and appetite stimulant meds. Hopefully with those and the steroid, she might get up to normal intake levels.
 

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