At my wit's end! Looking for advice on problem players...

[reveal]

Yes, p5 is *extremely* defensive if called on his behaviour/silly decisions/anything really. Believe me, I didn't want to be that nice in my email to him! Case in point here, my boyfriend, who is playing a paladin in the campaign, made an in-character post on our campaign messageboard about how his paladin wasn't happy with what happened, how he hoped it wouldn't happen again etc. p5 completely blew up at him and sent him a reply accusing my boyfriend of thinking he was stupid/a child/etc. So avoiding direct criticism is pretty much the only way to get through to this player.

Kick. Him. Out.

He will not change and everyone will be miserable. If things go south, you've only yourself to blame.

 

[Chimera]

Yes, p5 is *extremely* defensive if called on his behaviour/silly decisions/anything really. Believe me, I didn't want to be that nice in my email to him!

bye bye p5.
Didn't know ya,
didn't like ya.

grow up
get lost
you don't play nice
We don't like your dice.

 

[mythago]

p5 completely blew up at him and sent him a reply accusing my boyfriend of thinking he was stupid/a child/etc. So avoiding direct criticism is pretty much the only way to get through to this player.
Ellie

Actually, the point of p5 behaving this way is so that you CANNOT get through to him. He knows that blowing up means that the rest of you stop calling him on his BS and turn timid and start hinting.

Blowing up like that is unacceptable. Be polite, and direct. If he blows up, then you stay calm and tell him "Player Five, knock it off. If you have something to say, you can say it politely." If he can't cope with that? Bye-bye, p5.

 

[reveal]

Actually, the point of p5 behaving this way is so that you CANNOT get through to him. He knows that blowing up means that the rest of you stop calling him on his BS and turn timid and start hinting.

Blowing up like that is unacceptable. Be polite, and direct. If he blows up, then you stay calm and tell him "Player Five, knock it off. If you have something to say, you can say it politely." If he can't cope with that? Bye-bye, p5.

In my experience, people who get this defensive never think they do anything wrong, which is the reason they get defensive in the first place. The player is never going to change no matter how many people tell him he's wrong. Why put up with it?

 

[Len]

Neither of those situations left me feeling particularly good about myself, so this time I'm trying to keep from kicking anyone out except as a last resort. Turns out doing things this way is a lot harder...

Yeah, it's harder, and it probably won't work in this case, but at least you and the others will know that you were fair about it and gave p5 every chance.

The good news is, there probably is a good D&D group in your vicinity, and you've found most of them already.

 

[S'mon]

Neither of those situations left me feeling particularly good about myself, so this time I'm trying to keep from kicking anyone out except as a last resort.

But in your quest to feel good about yourself you're ruining the game for yourself and ps 1-3. You should be strong and do what's right. You have permission.

 

[Ellie_the_Elf]

deleted.

 

[Tarangil]

So I honestly think if he'll agree to changing from a psion and setting his character on the road to redemption, things will work out. Otherwise, kicking-out will commence!

Perhaps it's time then for the NPC's to gather and confront the heathen that's enchanting the young maidens in the village and B U R N H I M !!!!

At least there will still be a flow with events, rather than p5 being hit by a falling piano (old DM's trick on bad PC's)

In the end P5 gets to make a new player. Perhaps suggest to him that the next character he can play would be the Pyromancer that lit the killing fire.

 

[reveal]

The thing is, though, most of the other players don't want him to be kicked out, or at least not yet. He joined in my last campaign about midway through and the only problem there was his chosen PC was somewhat fragile and since he always, always buried himself in the middle of melee (he was playing a rogue, and an ECL 2 or 3 race), and didn't always think about his actions, he tended to die a lot.

So I honestly think if he'll agree to changing from a psion and setting his character on the road to redemption, things will work out. Otherwise, kicking-out will commence!

Ellie.

Make sure to keep us updated.

 

[Ellie_the_Elf]

Will do!