D&D General Bad D&D jokes needed

[aco175]

The new Readers Digest has several pirate themed ones.

What is a pirate's favorite letter? Most people will say R (Arrr). Answer; You think is is R, but it is really the C.
What is the smelliest place on the pirate ship? The poop deck
How much did the pirate pay for his hook and wooden peg? An arm and a leg.

There were several more.

 

[aco175]

Apparently there is a ton of them here.

 

[aco175]

That and "speak like a pirate day" is coming up on Sep 19th.

I'll stop now.

 

[Ralif Redhammer]

I can personally vouch for how terrible these are:

The Vampire Joke Book - Vania, Count Trans L.: 9780786001910 - AbeBooks

Presents a hilarious collection of bloodthirsty and blood-curdling jokes, riddles, quizzes, puzzles, and lists about vampires. Reissue.

www.abebooks.com

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*

 

[Oofta]

Two logs get put in the fireplace. One log says "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"
The other log says "By the gods! A talking log!"

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*

 

[Retreater]

From Wikipedia:
"On August 15, 2007, Wizards of the Coast announced the development of D&D 4th edition...."

 

[Shiroiken]

Jesus Saves!

...and takes half damage.

Ha! My group had that as "... all others take full damage."

 

[Guest 6801328]

An old blind beggar sits down in a tavern, and says to the innkeeper, "Hey I don't have any copper pieces on me, but I'll tell you a Paladin joke for a flagon of ale."

Just then, someone taps the blind beggar on the shoulder, and says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The innkeeper? Well, he's a retired adventurer. A Paladin. Me? I’m an eight foot tall, 300 pound goliath Paladin. The girl sitting next to me is an oath of vengeance Paladin, and she has killed more people than she has talked to. The fellow to your left has a holy avenger and is itchin' for a fight. The person behind you took an oath too, and they want nothing more than to Conquer and spread a little misery. Each one of us is a Paladin. Now, think about it, buddy. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind beggar thinks for a second, and then replies, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times."

I love jokes that can be recycled to slur anybody you choose.

My turn:

You're in locked room with Drizzt Do'Urden, Demogorgon, and Asmodeus, and you have two hand crossbows, each with a single dart of Instant Death Without A Saving Throw. What do you do?

Spoiler: SPOILER

Shoot Drizzt Twice.