azhrei_fje said:
I believe that what's good for the goose is good for the gander, as long as the neither one is getting special dispensation.
And this is where I would disagree with you because D&D is NOT a competition. Everything is geared (or should be) to what THEY do, what happens to THEM, how people react to THEM, not to enabling the PC's just happen to fit into everything else that's going on. It also means that NOT everything must be applied to the PC's and everything else equally, coldly, rationally, and without favortism. The very fact that you have a player who is upset that he has a dead PC and (rightly or wrongly) thinks it unfair that there was no chance to save him should indicate that even in a game where you're warning the players of dire consequences and that you're going to be a RBDM you can't deny that players will STILL be upset when things like this happen. Even when you want to be a RBDM you STILL may need to bend over backwards to accomodate certain players.
Just because a player doesn't immediately and openly object when you tell them you're going to get cruel and Medieval on their asses doesn't mean he's not going to take it hard when you ruthlessly execute his PC. Maybe it isn't rational... in fact it ISN'T rational, it isn't REASONABLE for a player to get bent out of shape if he's been given adequate warning (and it sounds like you did), but it still doesn't mean it's NOT going to happen and that you don't need to consider it.
Whether those house rules are there or not, the combat actions taken by the BBEG are perfectly in keeping with her personality as I've created it. She had healed up her companion once during the combat, but when he went down again, she thought to herself, "screw this!" and decided to leave when she had the chance in order regroup and return.
And I would argue this way:
I would definitely speak to a PLAYER who created a "disruption" in the game using the explanation that, "I'm just roleplaying - being faithful to what my character WOULD do as I've well-established." Roleplaying and being faithful to your character isn't an excuse for a PLAYER to be a jerk (not that I'm CALLING you that... this is how I would phrase it to such a player.)
I don't see how I, as the DM, can absolve myself of the same standard. I can't be... inconsiderate of the meta-game consequences of FAITHFUL roleplaying of ruthless, BBEG NPC's, even when the character has been well-established and players have been warned of potential cruelty.
Now, having said all THAT, there IS a point where a DM should draw a line in the sand. You warned the players. You established the ruthlessness of the NPC. You gave the players the opportunity to search outside the visible area - even if they COULDN'T have reached the bound PC in time to effect a rescue. You've allowed the player to get angry and vent his frustration. And now he needs to...
shut... up.
I will also say that I have run into situations where, because of things the PC's simply do not - and could not - know the players have gotten SERIOUSLY bent out of shape over in-game events. Even when told, "There are simply elements involved that you don't know of," they refuse to accept it and continue to whine. Sometimes, yes, I have had to spill EVERYTHING, explain my DM "secrets" in detail to get them to stop being jerks. I've never liked doing so but it's preferable to having upset players (even if their upset is NOT reasonable). Also, sometimes in those situations they have then indicated FATAL FLAWS in my own actions and I have had to concede that I screwed up.
In any case, communication with all the players is again required. Whether the player is justified or not - he IS UPSET. You can't just proceed silently, secure in the knowledge that you ARE in the right. Whether you tell him to shut up because he has no cause to continue to carp, or you find out that he's not the ONLY player who doesn't care for the consequences of the more ruthless approach to a given NPC, adventure or the campaign in general, you need to keep up that dialogue with all the players.
BTW, it sounds like I WOULD love to be a player in your game.