Being forced to quit

[MojoGM]

Jettison her and the brats...life is too short to spend it doing something you hate...

And before people start attacking me for putting gaming before real life, that's not what I'm saying at all. But if someone is in a situation they find intolerable, the only advice one can give to them is to get out.

and in the interest of full disclosure, I'm not a big fan of children in general...

 

[dren]

...rage.... forced to quit... I just want to die.

If you are using such incredibly serious words about not being able to game, think about what your hobby means to you and what your SO means to you. Decide what you want more and then act on it.

Good luck.

 

[Land Outcast]

Well, I won't be able to give reliable advice...

But I can't make a go for it unless more information is provided:

-> Why are you babysitting? (What is your SO doing?)

-> Do the kids live with you?

-> Age of the kids?

-> "Rate" your relationship with your SO (how do you feel about her)

EDIT: when someone posts this, it's inevitable to try to help

 

[Ry]

I'm glad you're not really looking for advice from EN World, but I hope you're getting advice from somebody. Professional relationship counselling might be what you really need.

 

[Gothmog]

I've had to cancel both my D&D sessions this weeked to watch my SO's bratty, undisciplined kids. This is an extremely untolerable situation for me. There aren't words to express my rage. It's probably going to become a regular occurance, and I may be forced to quit gaming altogether. I'm not asking for advice, just venting. It's one thing to quit because of burnout or a hectic shedule, it's quite another to be forced to quit by someone else. I've seen others forced out of the game by an SO, and I pittied them. Now the same thing is happening to me, and I just want to die.

Two things:

1. Two sessions of gaming per weekend is quite a bit, and likely will restrict time you can spend with your SO or even the amount of time you can devote to anything else. Gaming once a week or once every other week seems very reasonable to me though. Part of a relationship is not losing yourself in the other person and being able to compromise, and if she is going to make you give up something you love, you really should re-evaluate.

2. Since you said this is going to be a regular occurrance, I assume your SO is gone because she is working on weekends? Thats understandable, but still you guys should be able to come to some kind of agreement that maybe every other weekend the kids stay with her mom or other relative. If she is going out and doing things with her friends and sticking you with the kids at home though, dump her- thats not the kind of woman you want to get involved with.

 

[Deuce Traveler]

As a father separated from his wife, and so therefore having limited access to his daughter, I would like to say that I'd happily give up a night of gaming for one with my daughter on her worst day.

 

[Nonlethal Force]

If you are at all serious about that SO, you better start forming some kind of relationship with those kids. Clearly, they need more structure in their lives, and a male role model. I'm not saying you should act like a parent, but as the old saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. Right now, you are part of their village, so you can't stand by and get away by doing the minimum possible. Don't give up on them, even if they are bratty undisciplined kids right now.

And hey, they could be the next generation of gamers.

Or, I could put it another way and say, man it up and live up to your responsibilities. Gaming isn't the be all and end all. Kids, on the other end, really should be.

While I think some of the advice in this post is warranted, I am deeply offended by one significant point of content. Why do you assume that the poster is male? I don't see anything in the post to so assume. I agree that the OP's username and western culture implies that the OP is most likely a man ...

... but to be honest lately I have seen just as many women as men not take their parenting duties seriously. Bad parenting is a sign of the times equally for both genders. As a teacher, I can also attest to having dads who care when the moms don't. I can also attest to having moms care when dads don't. But personally, as a man who takes relationships with adolescents (and children, too!) seriously, I was grieved by the assumptions made in this post.

I'll get over it, though.

To the OP: I would take the advice about kids seriously, however. While the gender-speak was largely uncalled for, the advice about mentoring kids as stated in the post I quote is spot on. People who choose to be in a relationship with someone who has kids should either love the kids like their own or find a significant other who doesn't have kids. I know it is a cruel thing to say, but western culture has become very bad at raising kids. [Perhaps other cultures as well, but I can only speak of western culture in which I live] Kids need mentoring and role models - or else they will develop into adults who don't value their kids because they didn't feel valued themselves. And that is a downward spiralling pattern the is self-destructive to community.

Have fun with your gaming. Please feel free to hear or ignore my words and the words above. All the advice in this thread is free, and by nature that doesn't make it good or valuable. It merely makes it advice.

 

[w_earle_wheeler]

If you don't want to raise kids, I would advise that you don't enter a relationship with a woman who has kids.

Believe me, I understand that it lessens the potential dating pool, particularly as you grow older -- but if you are angry about having to raise children, both you and the children would be better off in different situations.

 

[Nonlethal Force]

Jettison her and the brats...life is too short to spend it doing something you hate...

And before people start attacking me for putting gaming before real life, that's not what I'm saying at all. But if someone is in a situation they find intolerable, the only advice one can give to them is to get out.

and in the interest of full disclosure, I'm not a big fan of children in general...

Actually, assuming that the OP puts gaming ahead of children, I think this is great advice. It is wrong to assume that everyone should think that children are more important than gaming.

It is correct, however, to assume that those who have accepted the responsibility of children should put them ahead of gaming. As my dad always said, if you are mature enough to do the deed, be mature enough be responsible for the rest of your life.

I agree that this is a place where the OP could make a legitimate decision. If gaming is truly more important in the person's life than the kids, then the OP should find a new significant other - one who is child-free. There is nothing wrong with your advice at all, so long as the OP is not the biological parent or otherwise already legally a guardian of the children.

 

[Agamon]

Lots of advice for an OP that didn't want any...