Bucket o' puppies n' Cleave?

[Craer]

I boggle at how a rules thread gets turned into a discussion about eating puppies.

...

Just to make sure everyone got that: Eating Puppies.

 

[Hypersmurf]

I boggle at how a rules thread gets turned into a discussion about eating puppies.

Just another day at the office

-Hyp.

 

[Zimri]

Not just any puppies but Dr. Deth's (he's evil so you don't have to be) Zombie Puppies.

Does being immune to poison keep me from getting an upset tummy if I accidentally actually eat one of the puppies ?

I am glad to see Hyp having so much fun in this thread.

 

[Hypersmurf]

Not just any puppies but Dr. Deth's (he's evil so you don't have to be) Zombie Puppies.

Heh. When this first came up a couple of months back, Piratecat changed my title to "Puppy Cleaver/Moderator".

I protested, and pointed out that they were zombie puppies, so there wasn't really any harm done.

My title immediately changed to "Zombie Puppy Cleaver/Moderator".

I am glad to see Hyp having so much fun in this thread.

Does it seem I don't have fun that often?

-Hyp.

 

[Uller]

I boggle at how a rules thread gets turned into a discussion about eating puppies.

...

Just to make sure everyone got that: Eating Puppies.

Yeah. That's just sick. This is supposed to be a forum suitable for General Audiences. So it would be better if kittens were used for this purpose. Besides...they're easier to fit into convenient containers:

http://www.bonsaikitten.com

You could fit 17 of them into a large glass jar and drop it hard enough to shatter it. Sure, a few might die upon impact, but the rest will be sufficiently spooked to go running off in every direction.

 

[Zimri]

Does it seem I don't have fun that often?
-Hyp.

The last time I was actually involved in a thread with you, you seemed a tad more like grumpy smurf than hypersmurf.

And for the record this is twice that I actually considered signing up just to PM you.

Back to the topic at hand

Bonsai kittens won't work as they are highly immobile due to growing in an enclosed space and taking on the shape of that space and hence muscles atrophying.

Keeping kittens in a bottle (even zombie kittens) would likely violate the "good" portion of my alignment as it would be cruel and torturous. Also please note the puppies would not actually be eaten that is just the mechanic to allow my VoP monk to carry excess puppies around.

 

[Ridley's Cohort]

The number of zombie puppies you could fit into a space increases enormously if you use Shrink Item.

 

[Uller]

Bonsai kittens won't work as they are highly immobile due to growing in an enclosed space and taking on the shape of that space and hence muscles atrophying.

You could put them in spherical containers. Spheres roll. So when you drop them, they'll roll in all different directions. Even if you don't get AoOs, they might force your opponent to make a balance check.

Keeping kittens in a bottle (even zombie kittens) would likely violate the "good" portion of my alignment as it would be cruel and torturous.

How can that be? Kittens grow up to be cats and cats are inherently evil (if you don't know this it is because you likely failed your save against their charm person spell-like ability...it probably lets you think its your "pet"). Keeping inherently evil creatures in bottles is a good act. It's right up there with killing baby orcs.

 

[Uller]

The number of zombie puppies you could fit into a space increases enormously if you use Shrink Item.

Right. And this would negate the need for a shoe horn.

 

[Cyberzombie]

It's right up there with killing baby orcs.

Hmm. You could use baby orcs instead of puppies, you know. They'd have a much lower movement rate, so you wouldn't have to worry about them escaping before you could cleave them.

However, you're going to have a harder time justifying them as rations. When orcs and such were "humanoids" and elves and such were "demi-humans", you could more easily justify eating your orc kills (after cleaning the meat thoroughly, of course), but now that they're all "Humanoids", most DMs call it canibalism. Which means you actually have to carry rations sometimes, now...