Campaign quotes
- Thread starter Mortanis
- Start date
Jim Butler
Explorer
OK. Here are some from my campaign (some stretching back a numbert of years):
By spell, question or mere presence, the following individuals deserve their own credit in forcing me to spend more time behind the computer:
Arlint, Tanya: "That's not a fireball!!" [The surprised words of Talaria Valanax as a meteor swarm engulfed her 'soon-to-be husband' Kellanon Valanax. Unfortunately, she was in the area of effect...]
Barton, Jim: "I got hit by what?!" [On his first night of adventuring; the paladin falling to a horribly effective necromantic spell. He was blown into bite-sized morsels...]
Cundy, Clay: "Now look what you've done!" [King Kellanon Valanax to Devar, the silver sword with a rather twisted sense of humor, after Devar forced him to take a roll on a mud bank...]
Dean, Les: "I'll bet I can pull that statue of the red dragon down from Strahd's entryway!" [The immortal (and final) words spoken by a barbarian intent on the annihilation of all magic. The dragon breathed as he climbed up on it...]
Desm, John: "I'm glad I didn't drink that..." [Rastar, after discovering a drink that he had ordered for himself was poisoned, and that Pholtyr had drank it...]
Edwards, Eran: "I don't understand, according to what I was taught, that spell should have..." [Thanatos, after another spell behaved differently than he would have liked it too...] Damn rules lawyers!
Duval, Paul: "Now, where does that little weasel think he's going!?" [General Andorian Whiterock commenting on the escape of a man on trial from his court as he leaped through a second story window.]
Johnson, Dennis: "Doesn't that spider coming over the hill look a little different?" [The mighty paladin, looking for a little action outside a major city, before his final encounter with a Drider...] This one requires a bit more. It was under 2nd Edition rules, and the paladin needed 30 xp to go up a level. The drider rolled a 20, he rolled a 1 on his poison save.
McGillis, Leonard: "Trust me..." [Spoken by Pholtyr Silverwalk after giving Thanatos a magic item he had created special—designed to detonate with meteor swarm upon utterance of a command word!]
Olsen, Deneen: "Jump, bitch, Jump!!" [Shalara Silverstorm's familiar after Cameron Drake challenged Charon to the Keel.]
Suedkamp, Mike: "I'm only here as an observer..." [In an attempt to dissolve the growing tension as a lawful neutral monk tried to join with a group of good initiates...]
Turner, Deb: "I've got to be doing something wrong..." [Priest-Lord Megan Fireform after another unsuccessful turning attempt.] Deb's turning rolls were so bad that the religion actually changed. Preists of the lord of war must now destroy (instead of turn) undead...
By spell, question or mere presence, the following individuals deserve their own credit in forcing me to spend more time behind the computer:
Arlint, Tanya: "That's not a fireball!!" [The surprised words of Talaria Valanax as a meteor swarm engulfed her 'soon-to-be husband' Kellanon Valanax. Unfortunately, she was in the area of effect...]
Barton, Jim: "I got hit by what?!" [On his first night of adventuring; the paladin falling to a horribly effective necromantic spell. He was blown into bite-sized morsels...]
Cundy, Clay: "Now look what you've done!" [King Kellanon Valanax to Devar, the silver sword with a rather twisted sense of humor, after Devar forced him to take a roll on a mud bank...]
Dean, Les: "I'll bet I can pull that statue of the red dragon down from Strahd's entryway!" [The immortal (and final) words spoken by a barbarian intent on the annihilation of all magic. The dragon breathed as he climbed up on it...]
Desm, John: "I'm glad I didn't drink that..." [Rastar, after discovering a drink that he had ordered for himself was poisoned, and that Pholtyr had drank it...]
Edwards, Eran: "I don't understand, according to what I was taught, that spell should have..." [Thanatos, after another spell behaved differently than he would have liked it too...] Damn rules lawyers!
Duval, Paul: "Now, where does that little weasel think he's going!?" [General Andorian Whiterock commenting on the escape of a man on trial from his court as he leaped through a second story window.]
Johnson, Dennis: "Doesn't that spider coming over the hill look a little different?" [The mighty paladin, looking for a little action outside a major city, before his final encounter with a Drider...] This one requires a bit more. It was under 2nd Edition rules, and the paladin needed 30 xp to go up a level. The drider rolled a 20, he rolled a 1 on his poison save.
McGillis, Leonard: "Trust me..." [Spoken by Pholtyr Silverwalk after giving Thanatos a magic item he had created special—designed to detonate with meteor swarm upon utterance of a command word!]
Olsen, Deneen: "Jump, bitch, Jump!!" [Shalara Silverstorm's familiar after Cameron Drake challenged Charon to the Keel.]
Suedkamp, Mike: "I'm only here as an observer..." [In an attempt to dissolve the growing tension as a lawful neutral monk tried to join with a group of good initiates...]
Turner, Deb: "I've got to be doing something wrong..." [Priest-Lord Megan Fireform after another unsuccessful turning attempt.] Deb's turning rolls were so bad that the religion actually changed. Preists of the lord of war must now destroy (instead of turn) undead...
Carnifex
First Post
oooh... a recent one that I made, in the first session of a new Midnight campaign I'm playing in:
My gnome channeller and the rest of the party have seen some orcs drag off a bard who was playing a lute in a marketplace. We stop to chat with one of the merchants, who runs a stall selling musical instruments, and during the conversation, my gnome decides to buy a lute.
Me: Aha! My first piece of loot... is a lute!
That had 'em groaning
Other silly comments from past campaign's I've run.
(2e) Ranger/Cleric: "Kill him! He killed me!"
(2e) Dwarven warrior: "My shirt is made of woven fungi!"
(3e) Tiefling Sorcerer: "Er... guys... we should probably be careful with this book, it's got 'Book of the Apocalypse' written across the front."
(3e) Tiefling Sorcerer: "I think they're hurt, their throats have been cut."
Heh, most of these aren't as funny when taken out of the context in which they happened. And there have been loads of funny comments that I just can't remember at the moment
My gnome channeller and the rest of the party have seen some orcs drag off a bard who was playing a lute in a marketplace. We stop to chat with one of the merchants, who runs a stall selling musical instruments, and during the conversation, my gnome decides to buy a lute.
Me: Aha! My first piece of loot... is a lute!
That had 'em groaning
Other silly comments from past campaign's I've run.
(2e) Ranger/Cleric: "Kill him! He killed me!"
(2e) Dwarven warrior: "My shirt is made of woven fungi!"
(3e) Tiefling Sorcerer: "Er... guys... we should probably be careful with this book, it's got 'Book of the Apocalypse' written across the front."
(3e) Tiefling Sorcerer: "I think they're hurt, their throats have been cut."
Heh, most of these aren't as funny when taken out of the context in which they happened. And there have been loads of funny comments that I just can't remember at the moment
der_kluge
Adventurer
One of the funniest lines in recent years is this... (will take some explaining)
The sorcerer in the party had acquired a Staff of Snakes (the serpent?), which in case you don't know, turns into a big snake once you hurl it at your opponents. We had acquired this treasure after killing a bad guy. Well, the player playing the sorcerer decided he hated the thing - it wasn't his style. So, he abandoned it. I don't even remember what he did with it, exactly, but he no longer had it in his possession.
Several games later, we are fighting some villains, and the player playing the sorcerer tells the DM (on his action) - "I hurl my staff at the guy, and command it to turn into a snake!" It was then that the player realized that he no longer had the staff, and it was just a regular staff.
One of the other players made a motion of the afore-mentioned character hurling a staff and shouts out, "FEAR ME! *clank* *clank* *clank*"
God, that still cracks me up.
The sorcerer in the party had acquired a Staff of Snakes (the serpent?), which in case you don't know, turns into a big snake once you hurl it at your opponents. We had acquired this treasure after killing a bad guy. Well, the player playing the sorcerer decided he hated the thing - it wasn't his style. So, he abandoned it. I don't even remember what he did with it, exactly, but he no longer had it in his possession.
Several games later, we are fighting some villains, and the player playing the sorcerer tells the DM (on his action) - "I hurl my staff at the guy, and command it to turn into a snake!" It was then that the player realized that he no longer had the staff, and it was just a regular staff.
One of the other players made a motion of the afore-mentioned character hurling a staff and shouts out, "FEAR ME! *clank* *clank* *clank*"
God, that still cracks me up.
tetsujin28
First Post
One of our players was uber-paranoid, and our GM was more than willing to feed his neuroses:
"I can swear those mind flayers are around here somewhere, probably invisible."
"Um...ok...the invisible mind flayers still aren't there...that you know of..."
"I can swear those mind flayers are around here somewhere, probably invisible."
"Um...ok...the invisible mind flayers still aren't there...that you know of..."
Along some of the same lines:
In my last campaign, the wizard (played by a female), decided her character would pick up a side skill
Player: I think i'll learn an instrument. Something soothing.
Player 2: Like a flute?
Player: Yeah! A flute. I'll learn to play the flute!
Player 3: How about the Skin Flute?
Player: Sure.. I play the Skin Flute!
So, after we clued her in to the nature of her new "instrument", she is forever unable to live that down. Lots of opportunities for mischeif.
NPC: We'd be glad for your noble party to grace the royal table
Player 2: The mage there plays a really good skin flute. *wink* *wink*
In my last campaign, the wizard (played by a female), decided her character would pick up a side skill
Player: I think i'll learn an instrument. Something soothing.
Player 2: Like a flute?
Player: Yeah! A flute. I'll learn to play the flute!
Player 3: How about the Skin Flute?
Player: Sure.. I play the Skin Flute!
So, after we clued her in to the nature of her new "instrument", she is forever unable to live that down. Lots of opportunities for mischeif.
NPC: We'd be glad for your noble party to grace the royal table
Player 2: The mage there plays a really good skin flute. *wink* *wink*
tetsujin28
First Post
That's a really stunning feat of naivete.
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