Scott DeWar
Prof. Emeritus-Supernatural Events/Countermeasure
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Character Submission Thread
- Thread starter perrinmiller
- Start date
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Halivar
First Post
Submitted for Approval:
Darvus Andar, human paladin.
Any feedback welcome.
http://livingpf.wikia.com/wiki/Darvus_Andar_(Halivar)
Darvus Andar, human paladin.
Any feedback welcome.
http://livingpf.wikia.com/wiki/Darvus_Andar_(Halivar)
Aura
Explorer
Reviewing Darvus Andar
Welcome to LPF, Halivar. This is a non-judge review of your character, which means it still counts as one of your two reviews, but the other must be a judge review. I'm a little under the weather and all drugged up on Nyquil, so if you see I've made a mistake, just let me know. I do try to be accurate, though.
Major Issues:
(1) The biggest rules issue I see in this character lies in his traits. Near as I could tell, neither of his traits are approved for LPF use. Further, both are in the same category (Faith), and traits need to come from separate categories. The LPF-approved traits are basically the ones from the APG, the general ones listed, and a few approved ones. See comments for discussion.
Notation Issues:
(1) Power attack gives +2 damage in exchange for -1 attack. Barring something I am missing, you should have +2 instead of +1.
(2) Disguise is a Cha skill, so you should get your +4 in it.
(3) I get a CMD of 13, up from the 12 you list.
(4) It's worth noting Smite Evil also bypasses DR.
(5) I get a total ACP of -6 (-4 for armor, -2 for shield), although you might consider the Armor Expert trait. However, I don't see why you are -10 in Swim; that might be a carryover from 3.x?
Recommendations:
(1) If you're going to carry food, I'd recommend carrying water. You'll dehydrate long before you starve.
(2) Someone else will probably say it, so I'll take a moment for it: think about a dagger. It's a great multitasker. BTW, with gear, LPF has a 100% buyback so you don't have to worry that over purchasing gear will come back to bite you (so long as you can carry it, that is.)
(3) Your background pretty directly implies you're from the outer Landellian reaches. Characters not from Venza get a bonus language, and Old Landellian (noted as being spoken in the 'more far-flung reaches' on the wiki) seems appropriate. BTW, Common is also Low Landellian, sometimes called Venzan.
Commentary:
(1) With your traits, are you trying to include mechanics that explain why Darvus is not effected by the mind slime that got the rest of the order? If that's the case, I would recommend taking your traits in another direction. While really good for a 1st level character, a +8 will save is easily attained by most mid level paladins, and exceeded by order elders. Perhaps there is some other reason Darvus was unaffected.
(2) I'm assuming Helerion has multiple orders of Paladins associated with him, and your backstory only effects the one. Otherwise I'd be recommending against this sort of thing. And, as noted in your previous discussion, Helerion is in deep need of some definition. There is an NPC cleric of Helerion on the wiki named Jael Kedric. There is also a paladin of Helerion named Kaedyn, who doesn't yet appear on the wiki but was the trigger NPC for an adventure named after him. Finally, if it helps, spheres taken from previous PC clerics of Helerion (approved): Defense, Protection, Sun, Healing.
Anyway, NOT YET, but a good start.
Welcome to LPF, Halivar. This is a non-judge review of your character, which means it still counts as one of your two reviews, but the other must be a judge review. I'm a little under the weather and all drugged up on Nyquil, so if you see I've made a mistake, just let me know. I do try to be accurate, though.
Major Issues:
(1) The biggest rules issue I see in this character lies in his traits. Near as I could tell, neither of his traits are approved for LPF use. Further, both are in the same category (Faith), and traits need to come from separate categories. The LPF-approved traits are basically the ones from the APG, the general ones listed, and a few approved ones. See comments for discussion.
Notation Issues:
(1) Power attack gives +2 damage in exchange for -1 attack. Barring something I am missing, you should have +2 instead of +1.
(2) Disguise is a Cha skill, so you should get your +4 in it.
(3) I get a CMD of 13, up from the 12 you list.
(4) It's worth noting Smite Evil also bypasses DR.
(5) I get a total ACP of -6 (-4 for armor, -2 for shield), although you might consider the Armor Expert trait. However, I don't see why you are -10 in Swim; that might be a carryover from 3.x?
Recommendations:
(1) If you're going to carry food, I'd recommend carrying water. You'll dehydrate long before you starve.
(2) Someone else will probably say it, so I'll take a moment for it: think about a dagger. It's a great multitasker. BTW, with gear, LPF has a 100% buyback so you don't have to worry that over purchasing gear will come back to bite you (so long as you can carry it, that is.)
(3) Your background pretty directly implies you're from the outer Landellian reaches. Characters not from Venza get a bonus language, and Old Landellian (noted as being spoken in the 'more far-flung reaches' on the wiki) seems appropriate. BTW, Common is also Low Landellian, sometimes called Venzan.
Commentary:
(1) With your traits, are you trying to include mechanics that explain why Darvus is not effected by the mind slime that got the rest of the order? If that's the case, I would recommend taking your traits in another direction. While really good for a 1st level character, a +8 will save is easily attained by most mid level paladins, and exceeded by order elders. Perhaps there is some other reason Darvus was unaffected.
(2) I'm assuming Helerion has multiple orders of Paladins associated with him, and your backstory only effects the one. Otherwise I'd be recommending against this sort of thing. And, as noted in your previous discussion, Helerion is in deep need of some definition. There is an NPC cleric of Helerion on the wiki named Jael Kedric. There is also a paladin of Helerion named Kaedyn, who doesn't yet appear on the wiki but was the trigger NPC for an adventure named after him. Finally, if it helps, spheres taken from previous PC clerics of Helerion (approved): Defense, Protection, Sun, Healing.
Anyway, NOT YET, but a good start.
Systole
First Post
Reviewing Harvus...
Stuff that needs fixin'
1. Typos in Disguise and CMD. Fixed.
2. You are only allowed one trait per category (excepting 'General'), and currently you have two faith traits. One of them needs to get changed out. Also, I still disagree with this limitation.
2a. Irrepressible comes from the Pathfinder Player Companion, and I'm not sure whether this is an approved source. I think it's not. Judges?
Number 2 needs to be fixed. Otherwise he's mechanically good to go. However, if you're going sword-and-board, you're going to be a bit feat starved, and Weapon Focus might not be the best use of said feats. Also, you've got 40 gp left over. I stongly recommend you spend it all, since LPF has a 100% buyback rule. And get a secondary weapon like a dagger or light mace. (Helpful to know: Smite is independent of weapon. I had an antipaladin get disarmed one time, so he simply started to pummeling his enemy to death with his spiked gauntlets. It was messy.)
EDIT: Ninja'd. Also, it's dangerous to go alone. Take this.
Stuff that needs fixin'
1. Typos in Disguise and CMD. Fixed.
2. You are only allowed one trait per category (excepting 'General'), and currently you have two faith traits. One of them needs to get changed out. Also, I still disagree with this limitation.
2a. Irrepressible comes from the Pathfinder Player Companion, and I'm not sure whether this is an approved source. I think it's not. Judges?
Number 2 needs to be fixed. Otherwise he's mechanically good to go. However, if you're going sword-and-board, you're going to be a bit feat starved, and Weapon Focus might not be the best use of said feats. Also, you've got 40 gp left over. I stongly recommend you spend it all, since LPF has a 100% buyback rule. And get a secondary weapon like a dagger or light mace. (Helpful to know: Smite is independent of weapon. I had an antipaladin get disarmed one time, so he simply started to pummeling his enemy to death with his spiked gauntlets. It was messy.)
EDIT: Ninja'd. Also, it's dangerous to go alone. Take this.
Halivar
First Post
Thanks guys!
- I was mostly picked those traits for flavor, not mechanics. It was pure happenstance that they affected my Will save like so. I will ditch both and grab some from APG to be safe.
- And wow, I can't believe I messed up the ACP like that. And yeah, I was using the 3.5 ACP for Swim. I was unaware it had changed!
- On your advice, Aura, I took Low Landellian and Old Landellian.
- I bought more equipment. My limitation is not really money, but carrying capacity. BTW, where is flint and steel on the equipment list? I could not find it.
- Thanks for the guide, Systole! I rejiggered some things for the Castigator build and swapped out the sword-and-board for a falchion. Raising Dexterity and dropping Wisdom. Will roleplay accordingly as an inexperienced youth.
Halivar
First Post
I swapped out feats, traits, and abilities. By Bhodi's Guide suggestion, I traded Str and Cha, making this one tough teenager! He's a little less wise, a little more sheltered, and just a tad less golden-tongued. Still, I think he still fills the roll of the diplomat-warrior well.
It was tough deciding what feat to get, but I decided on Cleave. At low levels it can be a game changer.
FWIW, I intentionally left his backstory open to interpretation. I actually don't know why he was spared "the change".
In any event, I think he's read for another look.
It was tough deciding what feat to get, but I decided on Cleave. At low levels it can be a game changer.
FWIW, I intentionally left his backstory open to interpretation. I actually don't know why he was spared "the change".
In any event, I think he's read for another look.
Last edited:
Scott DeWar
Prof. Emeritus-Supernatural Events/Countermeasure
If you need some artwork, here is a thread that can be mined:
http://www.enworld.org/forum/showthread.php?161795-Storn-s-art-for-swipin-!/page3
http://www.enworld.org/forum/showthread.php?161795-Storn-s-art-for-swipin-!/page3
Aura
Explorer
Second Look: Darvus Andar
Looks good. I see a small number of minor edits that I can catch for you, all either formatting or things in your favor (Missing DEX bonus to Ride, x1.5 STR to damage when fighting with a 2H weapon and to Power Attack bonus, etc.) Systole may very well be editing right now, so I'm gonna give it a bit.
Only thing worth noting is with Cleave, it is a Standard action, so it doesn't combine with Full Round actions, like your multiple attack you get at 6th level. However, it's also nice that it's a standard action: you can move and cleave.
STAMP! One non-judge APPROVAL for Darvus
Looks good. I see a small number of minor edits that I can catch for you, all either formatting or things in your favor (Missing DEX bonus to Ride, x1.5 STR to damage when fighting with a 2H weapon and to Power Attack bonus, etc.) Systole may very well be editing right now, so I'm gonna give it a bit.
Only thing worth noting is with Cleave, it is a Standard action, so it doesn't combine with Full Round actions, like your multiple attack you get at 6th level. However, it's also nice that it's a standard action: you can move and cleave.
STAMP! One non-judge APPROVAL for Darvus
Systole
First Post
Reviewing Darvus:
1. I get 141.62 for spent monies. Fixed.
2. Would recommend a sling and/or some javelins for ranged weapons. They get your Str bonus on damage, so you can embarrass the archers in your party for the next two levels or so.
3. I've never really liked spending a trait to get +1 in a class skill you already have. If you don't mind spreading your precious, precious skill points around a bit, you might try a UMD trait, since your charisma is decent. Alternatively, a trait like Blessed might help explain the backstory. Y'know, without actually explaining the backstory.
4. By the way, I really like open backstories like this. It doesn't change anything. I'm just sayin'.
5. 2H weapons get 1.5x your STR bonus. Fixed.
6. I find it's easier to just factor Power Attack into your weapon statblock, since chances are you'll be using it all the time.
Minor issues fixed, and a couple suggestions for you to take or leave. JUDGE APPROVAL HOOOOOOOOO!
1. I get 141.62 for spent monies. Fixed.
2. Would recommend a sling and/or some javelins for ranged weapons. They get your Str bonus on damage, so you can embarrass the archers in your party for the next two levels or so.
3. I've never really liked spending a trait to get +1 in a class skill you already have. If you don't mind spreading your precious, precious skill points around a bit, you might try a UMD trait, since your charisma is decent. Alternatively, a trait like Blessed might help explain the backstory. Y'know, without actually explaining the backstory.
4. By the way, I really like open backstories like this. It doesn't change anything. I'm just sayin'.
5. 2H weapons get 1.5x your STR bonus. Fixed.
6. I find it's easier to just factor Power Attack into your weapon statblock, since chances are you'll be using it all the time.
Minor issues fixed, and a couple suggestions for you to take or leave. JUDGE APPROVAL HOOOOOOOOO!
