Character Submission Thread

MerryMortician

Villager
I'll be making some minor changes tonight. I was so caught up in bookkeeping that I forgot to change the weight when she got taller as an elf (originally human). And, embarrassingly, I didn't even think about the logistics for the horse and cart. You're right that it makes little sense as it stands. I don't know what I was thinking on that one.
 

MerryMortician

Villager
Changes to Aelspeth Noromiel after Aura-prompted reflection:
*Switched to longbow. Originally took crossbow because I misremembered that the low-STR penalty applied to the attack roll as well as damage. Such is not the case.
*Changed her body weight as mentioned in my previous post.
*Added Kasmir's name higher up. Should I make a separate page for Darwin? Aradra's Shadow has his own page but I haven't seen any others done that way.
*Performed a bit of an overhaul on gear. Replaced the cart with a pony wearing a pack saddle. Moved items around significantly (seriously I worked on this for over an hour as if some frenetic inventory maintenance in RE4). I think I got all the math right.

Thanks so much, Aura, for the quick review :)
 

ealt

Villager
Hi! I'm new to the forum and just completed my first character that I'd like to have reviewed. He's called Arradon Delgaran. I'm excited to be joining the community and look forward to your feedback!
 

GlassEye

Community Supporter
Welcome, ealt, to ENWorld and our Living Pathfinder community! Someone will be taking a look at your character as soon as one of us can get to it.
 

MerryMortician

Villager
Welcome aboard, ealt! Mine is also a new face but I've already witnessed a very warm and friendly community. The judges and senior members do a whole lot of extra work to keep things running smoothly.
 

Aura

Villager
Reviewing Arradon Delgaran

This is a good-faith review of the character Arradon Delgaran. If I have made any errors, kindly point them out and we will get it resolved. This is also somewhat a rush job, due to the situation, so I hope I got everything. Here we go:

Things You Need to Change:
* Your bonus language from Int has to be taken from a restricted list detailed under the elf description.

Things I Changed for You:
* Noted HP from hit die (8). It just makes things easier later on.
* Altered Char_Info_DIV section so you show up as you on the Adventures page, and not Kalgor.
* Noted your misc initiative modifier was from a trait.
* Added a current value field at end of Hidden Blade description as an example of that usage. Many players find this sort of thing useful (particularly on the more complex expressions), delete it if you do not.
* Accounted the multiplicity of the items purchased in terms of cost and weight.
* Entered the weight allowances for each load category.
* Noted the value of your MW Thieves’ Tools on Disable Device.


Comments:
* Craft Alchemy: Just reminding you can’t make things as per the normal rules with this skill, so you may find this skill generally not useful.


STAMP! Arradon has his first APPROVAL of two. (Contingent upon the language issue.) You may enter the DWI and roleplay with the denizens there as we roster up for games. (The judges are in the process of contacting a DM for a spot for you to play in--more on that soon.)
 

Aura

Villager
Still on the Docket (in order of appearance):

Francis John - has made it to level 2 and still only has one Judge approval, can we have another Judge real quick to a check of the current?
Aelspeth Noromiel - Needs one more approval (peer or judge)
Ethane Beray - Needs two approvals (1 judge, 1 peer or judge)
Arradon Delgaran - Needs one more approval (peer or judge)

Non-judge DMC credit awarded:

grumblyarcher - 0.1 DMC for Melisande
(special thanks to JS45 for assistance)
 

ealt

Villager
I appreciate the speedy review! I went ahead and changed my bonus language to goblin and switched my skill rank from Craft (Alchemy) to Diplomacy. Figured it doesn't hurt to have good speaking skills!
 

Aura

Villager
Review of Ethane Beray

This is a good-faith review of Ethane. If I have made any errors, let me know and we'll work it out. I've been known to blooper from time to time.

Things That Need Work:
* Number of Spells Per Day and what your Domain Spell is at each level.
* I corrected cost of Fly Potion and Heroism Potion to 750 gp each. They are 3rd level as they appear on the Wizard list. This will unfortunately put you upside-down on finances, so you'll have to refigure.

Things I Fixed Up:
* Noted the +1 in survival was a bonus from trait, and increased total to 11.
* Noted the +5 heal was a bonus from (healer’s) gloves.
* Noted that your metamagic rod is the lesser variety at 3000 gp.
* Noted your Headband was +2.

Comments:
* I was working from the assumption the undeclared regional language would be filled in as you worked on your background.

So it's coming together, but NOT QUITE YET. Let me know when you want a second look.
 

jackslate45

Villager
Reviewing Aelspeth Noromiel (I am totally stealing this set up from Aura, sorry)
Hurray for more wizards! I always liked wizards. Although my wizard is currently on the bench until further notice. I might make him an NPC in the future. Anyway...

Errors I see:
* As a starting wizard, you can only have 3+ INT mod (7 in your case) of level 1 spells written in your book. I am seeing 8. You will need to remove one unfortunately.

Suggestions and Comments:
*It looks like you selected the teleportation sub school (Shift replaces the acid power normally given). If you could mark that somewhere it would be helpful. Not really needed, but it might cause some confusion later.

The starting spells is unfortunately holding you up, but otherwise it looks good.
 

Aura

Villager
The extra spell is not to worry, js45. (Good catch, though.) What is happening is MM is using time in the DWI to start transcribing scrolls into spellbook spells. (p 445, DWI thread.)
 

jackslate45

Villager
Reviewing Arradon Delgaran

Link to Character: http://livingpf.wikia.com/wiki/Arradon_Delgaran_(ealt)

Things You Need to Change:
* Nothing on my end. I double checked the language, and I'm guessing that the "Inner Sea" language is supposed to be your regional language correct? Goblin would be your bonus language via high INT, and is on the elven language list. Which reminds me, Aradra is short a language...

Comments:
* Rogues are really hard to play, due to their reliance on sneak attack for damage. They have to set up favorable conditions like flank in order to do the most damage. I hope your going to pick up Weapon finesse soon, since have a +0 to attack is going to hurt you for most of level 1.
* Our first real Thorn agent. Just be careful you don't say that out loud anytime soon. While PVP is not allowed, there are two very terrifying high level Rornish in the DWI right now :p

You get my stamp. APPROVED
 

jackslate45

Villager
The extra spell is not to worry, js45. (Good catch, though.) What is happening is MM is using time in the DWI to start transcribing scrolls into spellbook spells. (p 445, DWI thread.)
OK, I haven't read the DWI yet. Might need to do that first now...

Then looks good to me.
 

jackslate45

Villager
Review of Ethane Beray
Things That Need Work:
* Number of Spells Per Day and what your Domain Spell is at each level. - DONE
* I corrected cost of Fly Potion and Heroism Potion to 750 gp each. They are 3rd level as they appear on the Wizard list. This will unfortunately put you upside-down on finances, so you'll have to refigure. - I removed the potions, and redid the financials. Apparently I had added in the house / MWK spear in the first number, so I recalculated everything. This should be done.


Comments:
* I was working from the assumption the undeclared regional language would be filled in as you worked on your background. - Most likely Ethane does not get a regional language, since he comes from the area where Ruvalra's shrine is. Since the regional language is Common / Venzen, I don't think he gets access to one.
 

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