D&D 5E Constructive Criticism

[Hussar]

Like @EzekielRaiden above I find getting feedback, honest or not, is like pulling hens teeth. Freaking near impossible and it’s very frustrating.

I’m not exactly Mr. Tact. I am not going to freak out if someone would like to see something change.

It’s so annoying when all the feedback you get is “good game”. :grr:

 

[Umbran]

They get offended when I tell them all the reasons why they suck.

Assuming the above is only slightly hyperbolic, how do you thread the needle when giving feedback to you GM? What does "healthy constructive criticism" look like?

Well, the words are there - it is "healthy" and "constructive".
Saying, "you suck" is neither of those things. To be constructive, feedback generally has to be positioned such that it can easily be used to grow and improve.

As others have suggested, and as we often say about posts - don't make it personal, about them. Don't accuse them of failure. Make it about the situations or your own feelings.

In addition, it typically helps to tell them about the perceived problems, NOT your personal preferred solution.

"You are bad at balancing fights, and always make the monsters too weak," leads them to feel bad about their own skills, and tends to put blinders on them about what they should do about it.

"I don't feel challenged by the fights, I end up not going through many HP or other resources," is about the fights, ;the problem you see, and your own feelings, not about the GM themselves. It offers them an opportunity to make you happy. In addition, it leaves them different venues of solution - the fights can be made more challenging by upping the CR of the monsters, by adding non-combat challenges that also must be completed during the fight, or by making the environment dynamic with challenges of its own, for example.

If you have found certain resources helpful - like books or videos about GMing, you can offer them those same resources, and leave them to develop their own solutions. "I found the videos by Matt Coville gave me a lot of inspiration for improving my own GMing," admits to when you had similar problems, and how you found ways to make it better.

 

[Umbran]

I’m not exactly Mr. Tact. I am not going to freak out if someone would like to see something change.

Broadly, though, those are orthogonal. How tactful someone is (or isn't) doesn't determine how they respond to lack of tact. I've known a bunch of people who couldn't diplomacy their way out of a paper bag, but get very upset if you are blunt with them.

It’s so annoying when all the feedback you get is “good game”. :grr:

Giving feedback is itself a skill that most people aren't taught.

 

[EzekielRaiden]

Broadly, though, those are orthogonal. How tactful someone is (or isn't) doesn't determine how they respond to lack of tact. I've known a bunch of people who couldn't diplomacy their way out of a paper bag, but get very upset if you are blunt with them.

My sister was like this when we were growing up. She had absolutely ironclad rules about what was and wasn't acceptable behavior toward her, but those rules did not apply to anyone else. She would walk straight into my room unannounced, expect to be given full and prompt attention for her interests, and feel insulted if asked to leave. But God forbid you even touched her door without her express permission; to enter, even with just a single step, was an unforgivable sin worthy of instant righteous fury. It faded after she hit double digits but yeah she was, shall we say, idiosyncratic about how social rules applied to others vs herself.

Giving feedback is itself a skill that most people aren't taught.

Yeah, this is part of it too. Writing classes try to teach these skills but usually fall short. It was really only in my Speech and Debate/Forensics classes that this sort of thing was taught, and even then a lot of folks struggled. I do what I can to try to ask questions apt to induce useful feedback but it is always a struggle.

 

[CellarHeroes]

I guess it depends on how the feedback is being requested. If the DM is just saying "So, how did I do?" then it might be hard to offer any sort of constructive criticism. If instead it's something like "Those scenes in town seemed a little off to me. What did you think?" then the ball could definitely get rolling.

The only time I would ask for feedback is when I have attempted to fulfill something brought up during Session 0. Then I only ask if I was on the right track of what they were looking for.

 

[aco175]

I would not send him videos of Matt Mercer and tell him to be like that .

Maybe break things down into topics. Ask him what he wants to talk about or give his a couple choices like when you are asking a toddler what he wants for supper. "What would you like to talk about first- monsters or magic items?" This way you are not leaving anything open to everything.

There is also the thing about praising in public and criticize in private. When the DM asks in front of the whole table, maybe just talk about how cool his homemade monsters are and how the NPCs are a lot of fun. Say that you will think about some of the other stuff and send him a email or such on some of the other stuff.

 

[MichaelSomething]

How offer to run a session and make it the worst session possible? Then you can ask for feedback for it.

For example, do something wrong on purpose to see if the players notice/care/can talk about it.

 

[Fauchard1520]

The simplest, most broadly applicable answer is: Don't inform them what you're think they're doing wrong, tell them the areas where you are struggling, or not having fun. Especially given that people are generally good at knowing what they don't like, but not necessarily what will fix that.

"You don't know how to balance encounters." is directed at the person, and sets out something as fact that can be potentially rebutted.

"I haven't felt challenged by most combats." is a personal feeling, and can't really be argued as with. Done right, you can even put more objective problems in this framing, like "I feel like I can't rely on my knowledge of the rules as written to make informed choices."

Obviously, there's a big difference between requested and unprompted feedback, but hopefully if they're asking, it's because they want you to be having the best time at the table possible.

The difference between "You don't know how to balance encounters" and "I haven't felt challenged by most combats" is an interesting space to explore. The style is almost self-effacing, framing your experience as difficult rather than judging the GM as lacking. Good stuff.

 

[CleverNickName]

Most in my experience don't want feedback - they want validation for all those amazing no-stakes shopping and tavern scenes. It's best to hash out what you like and don't like in Session 0 in my view so the DM knows what to do in advance (and you, too). By the time you're offering feedback after the fact, it may already be too late.

If you decided to be the Dungeon Master in order to bask in the praise of your players, I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you...

And if your favorite part of being a player is getting to tell the Dungeon Master what to do, I'm afraid I've got more bad news for you...

 

[overgeeked]

If you decided to be the Dungeon Master in order to bask in the praise of your players, I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you...

And if your favorite part of being a player is getting to tell the Dungeon Master what to do, I'm afraid I've got more bad news for you...

Yeah. My experience is basically splitting the difference between that poster's experience and your comment here.

Players want to be constantly praised by the DM while the players also want to constantly tell the DM how to run the game.