D&D 5E (2014) Crazy Ideas 5E Should Not Adopt

[Crazy Jerome]

All divination spells will be resolved using a Magic 8 Ball.

 

[imurphy943]

85. The rulebook will specifically make note of the fact that any race may eat members of other races without *technically* being a cannibal, and include notes on which are the tastiest (orc: Tastes like pork. Old pork.)

86. Everybody on the Microlite20 forums will get to include one of their rules hacks- including the guy who wrote the hentai-based one!

87. Every campaign must include a Skrath.

88. Every player who brings YET ANOTHER F***ING BAG OF CHIPS will be rewarded with an instant level-up (worst rule ever!)

89. The rules will use Minecraft as the default setting.

90. No more killing humanoids unless they are nazis or zombies.

91. Encounter Critical mutations table!

92. Do away with space-consuming equipment tables; just wing it.

93. The greatest power- is the power of love. Include a 'doxy' class.

94. From now on, effects like 'sleep' spells that would normally put you out of action for a certain amount of in-game time...

...instead last exactly as long as it takes a recording of one song from a Grateful Dead performance to play out-of-game.

 

[imurphy943]

95. Vampires get a penalty of 5 to AC vs. witty blonde teengirls.

 

[mkill]

95. Vampires get a penalty of 5 to AC vs. witty blonde teengirls.

96. Witty Blonde Teengirl is the new 5th core class.

96a) There are variant classes for other hair colors.

 

[TarionzCousin]

[MENTION=99]Rel[/MENTION] should write a chapter on how to manage your mule in the dungeon.

 

[Lwaxy]

37) Your character's ability scores must be the same as your own as measured by an IQ test, bench press max, etc.

And to ensure variability, each party is required to have at least one dwarf, gnome, halfling or elf, which means recruiting children and short adults becomes a must. There will also be cases of abductions of people with body modifications in the ear area.

 

[Lwaxy]

75) To properly recreate the athmosphere of playing as a teenager back in the 80ies, there is a special XP chart for fart jokes.

Sheesh, we only gave XP for smells.

 

[Lwaxy]

- Giants as a playable race

I have several giant PCs in the Company of Cyndu campaign

 

[imurphy943]

97. Every time any character (including monks) makes an unarmed strike, they must save vs. boxer's fracture.

98. T-Rex are actually timid scavengers.

99. Every dungeon-based random encounter table must include
Inky
Blinky
Pinky
Clyde
Cherry

100. Players simultaneously play a game of 1000 Blank White Cards, which can influence events in the D&D universe.

101. All instances of 'riding dog', 'war hound', 'hell hound', 'wolf', and 'dire wolf' are replaced by 'dalmatian'.

 

[El Mahdi]

98. T-Rex are actually timid scavengers.

Or an inconceivably scared toy...