When I suggested that someone should play AiME, Black Hack 2e, or another D&D-based low fantasy hack instead of D&D 5e for their low magic game, it also raised similar accusations as you raised in this thread regarding the "play this instead" advice.
Of course it did! They want to play a low magic D&D! AIME is a great suggestion for taking classes and mechanics from, and basically is low magic 5e D&D, but the others are drifting from the brief to push your own preferences on someone who probably knows what they want better than you do.
So when is suggesting that a person or group would be better off playing another game NOT hollow advice? What and where are the limits of hacking a given system, whether that's D&D or some other "bespoke game."
Why ever tell someone that? What good do you think you’re doing? You’re telling someone that their preferences are wrong, and that they don’t know their own needs and desires. It’s
inherently disrespectful. Telling someone about games that do the thing, and might be useful to read up on, if they haven’t already, is great advice!
If someone wants advice to run a heist adventure in their D&D game, they aren’t asking for recommendations on heist RPGs.
This is saying that since someone might read in a lot of unintended negativity, it is the responsibility of the poster to go the extra mike and be as gracious and polite as possible.
Yes. The times I have offended people when I didn’t mean to or come across as aggressive and insulting are my responsibility, regardless of intent. If I had never recognized the behavior and started to try and fix it, it would be the right thing to do to kick me out of the forums.
How you come across is on you.
However, if someone asks how to do Aliens, that's a different question than how can I do D&D with Aliens.
It also isn’t relevant to the OP, since I’m talking specifically about people giving advice that isn’t engaging with the actual request for advice. If I ask for advice on how to run a scenario like Alien in D&D, I am not asking how to play in the actual world of the alien franchise and emulate the first film. Responding with advice for a question that I didn’t ask is a bit rude all by itself. Often, it is then done with a condescending tone, dismissive assumptions about the asker, and other disrespectful behavior.
And, I'm unwilling to accept that a suggestion to try a not-D&D game built to do a specific thing that's being asked for is rude.
Are you willing to understand that the way you give advice can be condescending and dismissive, especially if your advice involves blatantly ignoring part of the request for advice?
Because I’ve seen plenty of folks ask for advice specifically on running a D&D adventure with certain elements, and someone condescend to them and tell them that they “only know D&D and should try other systems” (assuming someone’s knowledge level based on a preference is inherently rude), or rattle on dismissively about how D&D only does one thing, or otherwise talk down to the person asking for advice.
Yeah, I think the question is “do you want to play a game that feels like the movie ‘Aliens’ or do you want to play D&D with a bit of an ‘Aliens’ vibe?”
Those are two different things, really.
Well, it’s more “which story from the Aliens universe do you want to emulate?” But even the “game that feels like the first movie” can be done just fine in D&D. I’ve done similar things, and even had plans for an Alien inspired adventure.
Level 1 PCs take a job to explore and report on an abandoned giant castle on an earthmote, along with a team of NPCs. A black, green, or shadow, dragon decides to take up residence. NPCs start dying. Several die before the PCs get their first glimpse of dark scales on a sinuous body.
There is no way out. No way to signal the airship that brought them here. A month before the ship returns with supplies and to collect reports.
The PCs will have to formulate a plan, deal with sometimes uncooperative NPCs, and try to use the environment, which has a lot of moving parts and things they could use to improvise a trap or other “device”.
It’s an adventure that requires a DM willing to run with wild improvisation of character abilities, and I’d probably say no Wizard Cleric or Druid if I’m doing it as a one-shot rather than just the first story in a campaign. I might borrow from the actual Aliens RPG, but my desire would be to do this in Eberron, FR, or my or my buddy’s homebrew world, and I would rather run what will be an intense story that asks for solid improv and planning (plans are useless, planning is essential) in a system i know very well, and won’t have to ever reference a rule book to run.