D&D Goes International

[WampusCat43]

The great state of Kentucky:

1. The favorite cleric spell is Create Bourbon, although rumor has that the last riot at Eddyville State Prison was caused by a moonshine-fueled game of Paranoia

2. A bard gets double payment if the bar patrons hold up torches and yell “FREEBIRRRRD!”

3. Charisma score = # of teeth remaining (‘capped’ at 18)

4. Orb of Dragonkind replaced by basketball autographed by university players

5. The hackneyed old plot device of the PC’s all being somehow related to each other is a dead-solid certainty among the players

6. Casting Summon Mount won’t get you a warhorse, but it will damn sure get you the fastest horse (“Onliest reason more folks go to the Indy Five Hunnert than the Derby is that we ain’t yet bred a horse that will hit the wall at 200 mph and bust into flames”)

7. Head of the local Thieves Guild is called “Governor”

8. Monster Manual I = Hatfields. MM II = McCoys. MM III (coming soon) = revenooers

9. Since we can’t spell it, Intelligence has been replaced by “Smarts”. Wisdom has been replaced by “More Smarts”. And we’re right thankful Edookayshun ain’t a prime stat

10. Dire possum = the other white meat

 

[NimrodvanHall]

Gaming in Holland

Here in Holland we play a little differently

1. We increased the landmass of Faerun by 30%, using dikes and windmills
2. 25% of that we used to grow tulips
3. All our magical boots are made of wood
4. Appraise is a class-skill for all classes
5. All spellcasters get enschew components for free, cause it saves money
6. All prices are listed in CP, cause we refuse to pay a cent too much
7. At least half the spells use "smoke a joint" as a somatic component
8. All monsters have "ice-skating" listed under their movement
9. We have kings and queens, but wizards rule the country (just look at harry potter, the prime minister http://www.regering.nl/bewindslieden/kabinet/mpbalkenende.jsp )
10. All mounts are replaced by bicycles

 

[Remathilis]

In Detroit:

1. We couldn't use dice until recently, when Detroit relaxed the casino laws. Now we have to use big red dice with big white pips. Before, we used to have to pop across the river to game in Windsor, ON.
2. You can't play in Detroit without first joining the Playa's Union. DM's don't count -- they're management. Occasionally, we do have players' strikes, and every three years the DMs and players have to renegotiate their contracts.
3. There are two acceptable playing environments -- up north, where you might be shot by Ted Nugent, and downtown, where you might be shot by everyone else.
4. The "dungeons" and "ruins" you explore are actual real locations in downtown Detroit.
5. All bards must be rappers or Motown singers. Being white and having a clever name like "Skittle" or some other type of candy is optional. So is being related to Michael Jackson or Madonna.
6. The PCs must occasionally compete with other groups of PCs. The fans of PCs occasionally get into embarrasing fights with the fans of other PCs, especially if they're at the local lord's Palace and the other group is called The Pacers. And don't even get started on the fans of the Red Wings -- surely half-fiends or half-red dragons if I ever saw any.
7. The iconic storyline in Detroit is the attempt to find the mysterious murderer of an ancient ruler known as Hoffa. No one has ever been able to make it through that meat-grinder -- it makes Tomb of Horrors look like a carnival ride.

Sewer Tunnels Josh, you forgot the MSU sewer tunnels...

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

And somewhere in the Southern USA, in various campaigns...

Chariots are decorated with the Stars & Bars (Confederate Flag)...assuming they're not up on blocks

Material components for "Hold Person" vary regionally, and may include: Pot of Gumbo, Home-made pie, a bunch of fried catfish, boiled shrimp or crawfish, barbecued ribs, oysters of the half-shell or even pralines. These are also the most common products from a "Create Food & Water" spell.

Spells take +1 round to cast, because of the drawl.

The plotline of LoTR is described as "The War of Elvish Agression"

In Texas, Mexican is the Common tongue.

 

[Bloodstone Press]

Hey, the Germans are really funny!

7. If the DM tells you to roll a dice, it´s considered an order. We love orders.

In Tennessee we play with some of the rules already mentioned from Alabama and Georgia and Kentucky. In addition to those, we also use these house rules and guidelines:

1. Everyone gets a +2 bonus to Diplomacy (thanks to that Southern Hospitality)
2. Everyone suffers -2 on Sense Motive (causing them to be easily fooled by fake "southern hospitality.")
3. Country Music is the only music
4. No one wears shoes
5. Characters may go to town no more than once a year.
6. Football is a religion
7. All characters suffer a -20 to all checks made to drive on icy roads.
8. Ebonics is a common language.
9. English is a foreign language (spoken by Northerners)
10 Everyone MUST go to church
11. Game snacks usually include grits, chitlins, iced tea and coke (not Coke, and no, not cocaine either... you know, coke, like Mt. Dew or Pepsi... )
12. The purpose of the state government is to take your money, kick your ass, and build roads.
13. The state government is corrupt and evil. However, all characters that become aware of this must make a Will save DC 20. Those who fail decide that there is really nothing anybody can do about it, so they might as well watch football and forget about it.

 

[Gnarlo]

Georgia gaming:

1. Georgia names for things:
Trail Rations = "Road Kill"
Monsters = "Yankees"
BBEG = "Furriner"
LARPing = "Civil War Re-enactment"
Holy Water = "Co-cola"
Leomund's Tiny Hut = "Uncle Leroy' Single Wide"
Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion = "Unlce Bubba's Double Wide"
Tensor's Floating Disk = "Hubcap"

2. Georgia names for classes:
Barbarian = "Wrassler"
Bard = "Singer" if they know country songs, otherwise called "Long-haired F****t"
Cleric = "Preacher"
Druid = "Damn hippy"
Fighter = "Good Ol' Boy"
Monk = "Furriner", NPC class only
Paladin = "Revenoor"
Ranger = "Hunter"
Rogue = "Politician"
Sorcerer = "Devil Worshipper"
Wizard = "College Boy"

3. Fire spells are outlawed as they are too dangerous. Casting "Flaming Hands", "Fireball", or buying alchemist's fire requires travelling to a neighboring state.

4. Ironically, everyone is required by law to carry smokepowder weapons.

5. "Make 'em Squeal Like a Pig" is in the combat chapter alongside "Charge" and "Bullrush"

6. All party members are related by blood, and most are or have been married to each other.

7. More bare feet and beer bellies than the Shire could *ever* dream of.

8. Most campaigns resemble "Testament"; most of the few people that *can* read only read the Bible.

9. At least once in each adventure, someone has to jump a river or ditch in a brightly painted wagon yelling "YEEEEE-HAWWWWW!!!!"

10. Most adventures consist of spending all your treasure on beer and women while running from the local law. Ok, that part isn't any different.

 

[Infernal Teddy]

We call the DM "Hauptchef"
Villain is "Pälzer"
Taverns don't offer Ale and Stew, but Ur-Pils and Schales/Debbelabbes
Instead of Pizza, gamers eat Schwenker.
All characters have to buy Common with skill ranks, since normally, we cannot speak it.

Also, nur damit das klar ist...

We call the DM "Megachecker"
Villan is "Bayer", stupid NPC's are "Saarländer"
Oh, and we eat Döner.

Greetings to those who live too close to the french border

 

[WampusCat43]

Hey, the Germans are really funny!

4. No one wears shoes ...

Yeah, this newfangled d20 system is a whuppin'. Now even those amongst who gots shoes gotta take 'em off to count that high.

 

[Kae'Yoss]

I see an ages-old conflict spills over here on EN World. It was only a matter of time. This is older than the blood wars, after all

Also, nur damit das klar ist...

We call the DM "Megachecker"
Villan is "Bayer", stupid NPC's are "Saarländer"
Oh, and we eat Döner.

Shouldn't you be busy with the write-up of all available types of food from your area:

Trail-rations = Potato Chips
Poor meal = raw potato
Common meal = cooked potatoes
Good meal = more cooked potatoes

Greetings to those who live too close to the french border

No kidding.

This reminds me:

Automatic languages: Add french. Noone ever uses it, though.

 

[Arbiter of Wyrms]

Dude, does this mean I get California?

Okay, okay, get this.

1. You never get an adventure. You get a Three Pictue Deal.
2. Surfboards count as mauls in combat and as light warhorses for chases
3. After an adventure, where are you going? DISNEYLAND!
4. All bridges must be painted sorta orange and called Gold
5. All wine and beers served must be microbrews made with fresh, local ingredients. Your preferences for particular beers and wines will automatically cause a fight.
6. You are not allowed to kill any creature without first filing an Enivronmental Impact Report
7. Certain character classes are only available in certain regions. For example, to be a Druid, your character must live above Santa Cruz. These regional differences will also lead to arguments...
8. At least one character in every party must be a Monk.
9. Create Fog and similar spells work three times as well near San Francisco
10. You are allowed to create a new religion on the spot and convert all your current levels over to Cleric levels.

Have a nice day!

DUDE! You so totally snaked my post, dude! And I was gonna like post earlier and stuff, but I couldn't, 'cause I was busy, right? Anyways, like in California, we all fully play on the beach with like rock stars and like famous actors and stuff, right, only like not me, but like geeks and stuff, right? So, like we have to play at the beach'cause everything else is like freeways and stuff, right? and so like we do drink napawine, and microbrew and we like fully eat avacados and California cheese at every meal, right? Dude! and there's this university thing, and like everybody there plays but they're like really sexy and stuff, though, not all geeky, you know? And we like totally toke u pbefore the game, dude, right? And, so, like there's LA and there's Frisco, right, but they hate it there when when you call it frisco, but it's cool and the people in LA are all, like, gang-bangers and stuff, and, like the people in San Francisco, you know about them, right ?!Dude! and were environmentally friendly, so we don't want you to throw anything away, so we sell you all the products you buy in recycleable packages. . . Oh, yeah. The game. . . Sorry dudes. . . and Dudettes, too.

1. Brutish monsters (and druids) are called "Oregonians." The Oregonians hate the PCs for unjustified reasons not to be gone into here.
2. All wealth- and power- hungry villains are called "Los Angelenos."
3. All immoral characters are Nevadans, since all Nevadans live in Las Vegas (Reno is in California).
4. All PCs must be Chaotic Neutral with Lawful tendencies.
5. All PCs and NPCs get Quickened Maximized Enlarged Extended Widened Plant Growth at will as a Spell-like ability.
6. No PC may ever harm a creature of the animal type.
7. All NPCs must do so whenever possible.
8. cp < sp < gp < pp < water
9. All campaigns center on the elimination of the threat of Outsider incursions.
10. Outsiders are usually called "immigrants" or "la migra"
11. Most PC abilities depend upon the ability to summon and control these outsiders.
12. Change Self is available from an NPC spellcaster on every street corner at competitive prices starting at 1000gp and is always permanent until re-cast, and adds 1d20-6 to the patient's Cha score.
13. The Emperor, King, Prince, and the ONE TRUE POWER are all Michael Jackson
14. Flaws are essential to character success
15. All PCs start with 4d6+20 Comliness
16. All game snacks must be sugar-free, low-carb, no-fat and glamorous.
17. The DM may be recalled by player referendum at any time and replaced by the best-known player willing to take over immediately and DM the rest of his adventure. The new DM will be expected to do a much better job than the original.
18. All players must arrive at the game with illicit dugs and in a car worth more than 100,000 dollars, or with gas mileage of 8MPG highway or less, or else must arrive on rolerblades with a water bottle.
19. No player may wear their natural hair color.
20. All players must have a recording contract, a movie deal, or be a member of a cult.