DarkMatter D20: Drunk Southern Girls with Guns ... UPDATED - 8/18/05!

What would you like to see in the DarkMatter campaign?

  • Cthulhu, baby

    Votes: 66 23.7%
  • More anal probing!

    Votes: 66 23.7%
  • Rather less anal probing, thank you.

    Votes: 33 11.9%
  • Deeper Conspiracy theory stuff

    Votes: 84 30.2%
  • More traditional monster/horror tone

    Votes: 29 10.4%

GONE MISSING
Chapter 9


Ross and Stephen parked their car a half-block away from the storage garage. There were even some trick-or-treaters out here, moving from store to store. Ross shrugged, showed his shotgun.

"What are you DOING?" hissed Stephen.

"It's part of my costume."

The two of them found the address. Grimy windows kept them from seeing inside. They crept around to the main door, off an access alley. The big pull-down garage door was closed, but a small front office door lay open. Ross entered, swept his shotgun side-to-side. Clear.

The two Agents entered, crossed to a door leading into the main garage. Stephen listened. There as some sort of high-pitched ... muttering going on inside. He drew his own weapon, shouldered open the door.

Eliot didn't see them at first. He was filthy, soaked with sweat and grime. He was throwing dozens of packages of snack foods into a cooler he'd bungied to the back of his bike.

"Eliot, you need to freeze ." Ross kept his voice nice and even, gun high.

Eliot turned. His eyes were wide, a desperate mix of hope and horror. "Going to make it all better. Me and my friend!"

"Yesssss, suuuurrrre," Stephen crooned, reaching for a pressure syringe of elephant tranquilizers he kept in his medical bag. Eliot nodded, soothed. Ross eased forward ...

Somewhere inside Eliot's fevered brain, a connection fired. His eyes suddenly narrowed. When his voice came, it was metallic, cold. "You don't want me to be with my FRIEND --"

The Agents felt a wave of vertigo slam into them. Stephen , already off-balance, tumbled to his side. Ross slumped against a nearby wall, his shotgun BOOMING wide. Plaster EXPLODED from the wall, shredded. In his fogging vision, he saw Eliot leap onto his bike.

"Dammit," Ross thought, "at least the others can't be having as bad a time ..."


******************************


"Not good, not good ..." Denis, Jo, and Andy had their guns out from the moment they'd walked through the front door of Eliot's house --

-- and seen his mother encased in a solid cocoon of goo.

Her featuress were frozen in horror. Her hands were raised, as if she'd try to claw her way from the translucent gunk even as it hardened around her.

"Like a white-trash wasp in amber," Andy muttered. He touched a still-moist section of the cocoon. He winced, snapped his hand back.

"Sting, then numb?" Jo asked. Andy nodded. "Ran into traces of that out in the woods." She turned to talk to Denis, but he was already gone.

So he didn't hear the screams.


*******************************


Denis cracked the door to the attic. He'd put most of it together, so up here ...

There it was. Wire hangars, electronics, and... well ... brains. Laminated wedges of human brains stuck on Lego building blocks in a weird 3-D array that almost defied sight. Bits of it seemed to bend away in the light. It was just slighlty bigger than a breadbox. A breadbox that might reside in Clive Barker's breakfast nook.

"Hey, guys! Found something VERY important in the attic!" Denis grabbed the device. He frowned. "Andy! Jo!" No answer. He shook his head, descended the ladder. You just couldn't depend on those two.


*******************************


Andy and Jo stood in the middle of the street, staring. Parents, some openly vomiting, struggled to drag their tormented, traumatized children from the sidewalks. Some panicked, running madly, randomly, until they collapsed.

There was the alien. In the middle of the street. It was maybe three feet tall, slimy, brown. It had a huge, bulbous head with oversized, soft brown eyes. Its gentle mouth was curved in a friendly smile. Its thin neck tapered down to a potato body. In any other situation, its waddle would have been adorable.

That's not why people were screaming.

The alien apparently thought to flee town by wearing a Halloween costume. Going by size, it naturally decided to gamble on Gertie's costume, a charming, innocent white ghost sheet.

And perched on top of the alien's head was Gertie's head.

Balanced, bobbling, a frozen smile on her dead lips. Eyes wide open. The alien was wearing Gertie AS a costume. The alien looked around, Gertie's head swiveling atop his own a beat later. it seemed genuinely saddened and puzzled by the reaction around it.

Andy reacted first. He raised his gun.

"You are so not phoning home."

(DM's Note: Exact quote.)

His first shot hit home. The alien SHREIKED. It's insane screaming was drowned out by Jo yelling back, swearing as her twin nine mils BANGED away nonstop at the thing. One of Andy's shot knocked Gertie's head off the alien's top. That only served to push Jo farther over the edge.

The alien jerked from each hit, its brown eyes wide with sadness. Suddenly, its expressive eyebrows angled in. It opened its mouth. Within was a CIRCULAR JAW lined with rows and rows of crooked, RAZOR TEETH. The jaw distended, opening wide enough to swallow a human head.

Then the goo JETTED OUT.

Gallons of slime, impossible amounts, like from a fire hose SLAMMED into Andy. He gasped, felt his limbs going numb. He tried to shake off the effect. His gun fell from nerveless fingers. Beside him Jo dropped two clips, reached for two more.

Andy heard a BUZZ. The alien, its face now a mask of cthulhu fury, teeth SPINNING in its mouth like a saw, CHARGED them on its stubby legs. The buzz came from the long, silver cylindrical DEVICE in the creature's right hand.

"So that's what you use to core a human," Andy thought to himself.

And not happily.
 
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Yay! Update! Jonrog, you're an evil, evil man. Taking one of the fondest memories of our childhood and turning it into the sort of nightmare only alcohol, profanity, and high-priced psychiatrists can fix.

I'm SO happy to see how it's turning out.

(And is it just me, or is anyone else wondering when Jo was firing on the alien-with-Gertie-head, do you think she was visualizing the alien or the kid as the target?)
 

jonrog1 said:
The alien apparently thought to flee town by wearing a Halloween costume. Going by size, it naturally decided to gamble on Gertie's costume, a charming, innocent white ghost sheet.

And perched on top of the alien's head was Gertie's head.

Balanced, bobbling, a frozen smile on her dead lips. Eyes wide open. The alien was wearing Gertie AS a costume. The alien looked around, Gertie's head swiveling atop his own a beat later. it seemed genuinely saddened and puzzled by the reaction around it.

Andy reacted first. He raised his gun.

"You are so not phoning home."

Oh, you did not. I just looked back through the thread, and this story has been going on since march or so, and I was so distracted by the Mulder and Scully thing and the mean-trick-on-Jo thing that I just now got traumatized. His phone was made out of a record player and a saw-blade and happiness, not human brains!

On the upside, at least you didn't edit out the shotguns.
 

WOO HOO!

jonrog1 said:
GONE MISSING
Chapter 9


And perched on top of the alien's head was Gertie's head.

Ya know, it's been a while since I read Drunk Southern Girls and so I really didn't make the connection immediately. I think part of my brain was just saying "Na.... that's not the.... no way. Really. No."

Then I went back and double checked. Jeezycreezy, man. I don't know if I'll sleep tonight. What a visual.

Thanks again for the story.
 
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NICE!

I am liking this Story Hour! Especially this particular update, with such gems as:
Originally posted by jonrog1
"Like a white-trash wasp in amber."


It was just slightly bigger than a breadbox. A breadbox that might reside in Clive Barker's breakfast nook.


And perched on top of the alien's head was Gertie's head.


"You are so not phoning home."


Andy heard a BUZZ. The alien, its face now a mask of cthulhu fury, teeth SPINNING in its mouth like a saw, CHARGED them on its stubby legs.


"So that's what you use to core a human."
I also like that little visual I've got of Jo going both-guns-blazing on the cthulhoid alien dude like Chow Yun-Fat (though to be honest with you, I don't think CYF has killed an alien in a movie yet).

Though I hate to be Captain Obvious, it looks like the freaky psi-kid and that alien have some sort of working relationship with each other. And what are Malloy and Sully doing during all this?
 

jonrog1 said:
GONE MISSING
Chapter 9


The alien apparently thought to flee town by wearing a Halloween costume. Going by size, it naturally decided to gamble on Gertie's costume, a charming, innocent white ghost sheet.

And perched on top of the alien's head was Gertie's head.

Balanced, bobbling, a frozen smile on her dead lips. Eyes wide open. The alien was wearing Gertie AS a costume. The alien looked around, Gertie's head swiveling atop his own a beat later. it seemed genuinely saddened and puzzled by the reaction around it.

Andy reacted first. He raised his gun.

"You are so not phoning home."


Good god, jonrog! You've got one sick and twisted mind. And we love you for it. I'll never watch that movie the saame way ever again because of you.

Say, jonrog, have you ever considered writing a novel in a similar vein to this story hour? Something such as "Ordinary folk get pulled into the world of aliens and the supernatural. Wacky adventures (and much property destruction) ensue." I don't think there are many novels that mix horror and comedy as good as you.

Just imagine. 300 pages of zombie kids, gun-toting drunken agents, and anally-obsessive aliens.

I'd buy it.
 


300 pages. SINGLE SPACED? God, that's practically a real job. Terrifyingly, the new member of our game group os attempting a novel, I'll have to quiz him on the agonies.

You'll have to settle for the website. It still percolates -- been travelling quite a bit this summer, with a bit more of a workload than I anticipated. I hope we can have something bare-bones up this month.

Trick is, I don't want to put it up without having at least three good articles finished for it, in a very specific format. So we'll see.
 

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