Dealing with a problem player...
- Thread starter Dykstrav
- Start date
malkav666
First Post
I would say pull the player aside and talk to her/him (you did not specify which). Invite them out for coffee or some other such public place, break the ice for a few minutes, then tell her/him your expectations of the players at your table. Then ask them if they understand what you just said. If they say yes, then alert them that if they cannot live up to those expectations, that they will be voted off the island. You can include things like learning the rules (which they may already know if thy are quoting the DMG to you), not sexually harassing your players(or you), and respecting the beliefs of other on those ever so sensitive topics. You could also institute the 10 second rule. I use it for the games I run here in town at the youth shelter. I have chess clock, and I just start it when someone appears to be faltering on their turn. When 10 or so seconds pass I alert them that they are going to be skipped if they dont act immediately. They will huff nad puff and miss a few turns, but I have that over time they start paying attention so they can act. Another tactic I use is when I announce the start of Player A's turn I also announce that Player b will be acting next so they can start thinking about what they want to do.
Out of curiosity, is the player playing at level 2 because she forgot to add the exp points to her sheet, or because she missed that many sessions? If you just don't like the player (meaning this is not someone you would not want to do something that wasn't gaming with) then maybe you should ask them to quit you. But if you like the person as a person and thy just arent gaming in a way you like, maybe you should be a little more engaging and assertive in your expectations. I have found that in my own experience, that often folks act a certain way because that is the norm for them, if thats not cool with your group, you should at least let them know, before getting to banhammer.
I have a couple of gaming buddies I have had for years now, that when I first started gaming with them I did not like their style at ALL. I eventually spoke to them and we came to a common ground, and I have more friends as a result (some of them are my dearest friends in fact). I have also put some gaming agony from character diffeerences out its misery by talking it out and deciding to go my seperate way afterwards.
But it all starts with taking the player out of the game area, and having a real discussion with them (I reccomend you do it 1 on 1, inless the person is serial murderer creepy, as folks tend to react differently when "confronted" in front of a group as they do when "approached" in a more private way).
But all of this is moot if you just hate the person and want them out. If thats the case, then ask yourself how they got into your group in the first place, and add that action to that list of things never to do again, kick them out and move on.
love,
malkav
Out of curiosity, is the player playing at level 2 because she forgot to add the exp points to her sheet, or because she missed that many sessions? If you just don't like the player (meaning this is not someone you would not want to do something that wasn't gaming with) then maybe you should ask them to quit you. But if you like the person as a person and thy just arent gaming in a way you like, maybe you should be a little more engaging and assertive in your expectations. I have found that in my own experience, that often folks act a certain way because that is the norm for them, if thats not cool with your group, you should at least let them know, before getting to banhammer.
I have a couple of gaming buddies I have had for years now, that when I first started gaming with them I did not like their style at ALL. I eventually spoke to them and we came to a common ground, and I have more friends as a result (some of them are my dearest friends in fact). I have also put some gaming agony from character diffeerences out its misery by talking it out and deciding to go my seperate way afterwards.
But it all starts with taking the player out of the game area, and having a real discussion with them (I reccomend you do it 1 on 1, inless the person is serial murderer creepy, as folks tend to react differently when "confronted" in front of a group as they do when "approached" in a more private way).
But all of this is moot if you just hate the person and want them out. If thats the case, then ask yourself how they got into your group in the first place, and add that action to that list of things never to do again, kick them out and move on.
love,
malkav
filthgrinder
First Post
D&D is a game and the objective of the game is to have fun. You need to eliminate elements that aren't fun. If a player isn't fun, they don't need to play. Just remember it's a game, it's not a job or a business, it's not government. Just tell them, "hey, you don't really seem like you are into the game or anything, you haven't shown up all the time, maybe you just shouldn't play anymore. It's cool that you like hanging out, but we are kind of focused on the game and stuff."
If you are friends with this person, you'll just hang out with them at other times. If you aren't friends with them... why are they playing in your group anyways?
If you are friends with this person, you'll just hang out with them at other times. If you aren't friends with them... why are they playing in your group anyways?
Oryan77
Adventurer
Take him up on the offer...he might become a better player afterwords.
Man, I'm surprised you didn't break his face for saying something like that. I couldn't imagine what I'd do if a player made a comment like that about my wife (who is a player). Luckily everyone I have gamed with has at least been respectful.
I can't believe after having him be a problem player and then follow it up with a sexual comment about you & your gf that you actually let it slide. If you had just kicked him out right then and there, then you wouldn't be dealing with this today. That would have been a very easy excuse and a valid reason to boot him.
I've always been on the side that says, "boot him out of the group" because I've dealt with so much BS from players that I have come to realize nothing works except booting them. People like to suggest sitting down and talking with them, but in my experience, that has failed 100% of the time. A player with a bad trait isn't going to change even if they try...at least I've never seen it happen.
Get rid of him and find someone new. You will not regret it! Problem players make DMing D&D a living hell, but it is so great when you can finally DM a group of cool players!
Nifft
Penguin Herder
roguerouge
First Post
Well, if you forced the players to play with this guy for months after they wanted to boot him, you should let them kill his character and take his stuff.
If you REALLY hate him, have THAT be his last session with your group!
If you REALLY hate him, have THAT be his last session with your group!
Oryan77
Adventurer
Ah crap...is it too late to edit my post? No...the damage is done...dangit....
Nifft
Penguin Herder
Many of the OP's problems seem to spring from a desire to avoid conflict.
And you wonder why the OP would seek to minimize the chance of offending any reader.
Cheers, -- N
