D&D General Did I ruin my DND Game/Group

Nagol

Unimportant
This can be fixed.

Sorry for length, but I actually disagree that some people aren't made for D&D.

<snip>

The same can be said about bird watching, NASCAR attendance, and stamp collection. That doesn't mean each and every person wants to engage in those hobbies.

I snipped the rest of the post because, while good advice on how to set up a campaign/gaming group, it presupposes that the people actually want to engage in this time-consuming fringe activity. It's OK if friends have different interests.
 

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The same can be said about bird watching, NASCAR attendance, and stamp collection. That doesn't mean each and every person wants to engage in those hobbies.

I snipped the rest of the post because, while good advice on how to set up a campaign/gaming group, it presupposes that the people actually want to engage in this time-consuming fringe activity. It's OK if friends have different interests.
This++. You don't have to share interests with everyone you are friends with.
 

Sure, D&D shouldn't be indentured servitude. It's a voluntary activity. I think we can all agree on that.

We can discuss in this forum whether X wants to play or not but that is something that the OP needs to check. I assumed that X wants to play, but has a wildly different preferred play style than other players. And I propose that a good session zero can fix that, based on positive personal experiences.
 

I've bounced between a couple of groups before I settled on one that works. I've seen my share of abusive DM's and annoying players. Not everyone's expectations and intentions with the game are guaranteed to line up. Sometimes this can be solved by simply booting the disruptive player from the group, but for that you would need some consensus in the group.

I used to be in a group with a very annoying DM, to the point where I even started to dread our D&D sessions. I wanted to play D&D, but the way this DM did it was just frustrating. So I approached a few of the players who happened to be close friends, and discussed it with them. Surprisingly they all shared the same opinion, and we agreed to stop playing with that DM and form a new group. Its been smooth sailing ever since (which is fitting for a pirate campaign).

As other posters have said, I think this sort of thing may be very common among new/young D&D groups.
 

Nagol

Unimportant
Sure, D&D shouldn't be indentured servitude. It's a voluntary activity. I think we can all agree on that.

We can discuss in this forum whether X wants to play or not but that is something that the OP needs to check. I assumed that X wants to play, but has a wildly different preferred play style than other players. And I propose that a good session zero can fix that, based on positive personal experiences.

A good session 0 might fix that, but preferences can and will sometimes be mutually exclusive. There are gamers that won't sit at my Ars Magica or D&D table because our preferences are very much out of whack even though they're fine playing CHAMPIONS with me because the game conceits drive a different experience.

Compromise is only a potential; it is not guaranteed or mandated. And bad gaming is worse than no gaming (or developing a new table that feels like good gaming).
 


Zanganorn

Villager
BIG UPDATE: So talked to my dm yesterday and said he really isn't feeling it, and he suggested that I find another group to play (think hes just burned out) so there is a local dnd group that meet at a game shop (so local i can walk to it) and I joined the Facebook group and sent out a message, and am going to check it in a few hours. Also was hanging out with X and DM at Barnes and noble, and were walking around perusing, X is wanting classical books, I point out where they can be found, then he says this half remembered Marco Polo quote I find it and read it off, then X calls me a boring person and my DM says oof and nothing happens. DM drives me home (we live close together). I thought about showing this thread to my DM and X is that a good idea.
 



Oofta

Legend
I thought about showing this thread to my DM and X is that a good idea.

Sorry for your difficulties, things like this can be tough. However, I don't see a reason to burn bridges here. Things didn't work out, just move on. Showing them this thread wouldn't really serve any purpose and it's time to just walk away from this whole series of events.
 


Zardnaar

Legend
We had a group fall apart the other night.

It's hard getting randoms together and making it work.

Move along, don't show thread word tends to get around.
 

Zanganorn

Villager
BIG UPDATE 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. So i went to the public game and played for four hours, and I had a lot of fun, despite not having ever played a 12th level character it was fun watching my PC die an hour in. they host games on Monday and Thursday so i might go to both. So I don't know if this is the end of the thread, but once again many thanks to all. I'm not going to show them this thread, had fun yesterday we all went hiking and that was great
 



HarbingerX

Rob Of The North
BIG UPDATE 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO. So i went to the public game and played for four hours, and I had a lot of fun, despite not having ever played a 12th level character it was fun watching my PC die an hour in. they host games on Monday and Thursday so i might go to both. So I don't know if this is the end of the thread, but once again many thanks to all. I'm not going to show them this thread, had fun yesterday we all went hiking and that was great

Glad you had a good time! If you go regularly enough you might find yourself eventually getting invited into a group. When I started playing again I had no friends to play with so I went to monthly meetups and played in one-shots. Eventually one of the DMs said he was starting a new campaign and asked me if I was interested. That was 13 years ago now with a lot of D&D played since...
 


Zanganorn

Villager
Hey guys im back a lot has happened so settle in. In the run-up to the corona virus our old group got back together with some of other friends. And so we have been playing for the last month, and since our state went on stay at home orders we have been playing online though Roll20. Now X has rejoined and he started to complain about how online is inferior to the table, but everyone shouted him down. And so we started playing, and everyone else saw what I saw. He was disrupting the game (in and out) by taking us offtrack and posting images in discord unrelated. And in game he plays a racist to anyone but humans, and he hasn't changed or explained why. And so recently he has gotten tensy, and does a "Baby Rage" when anyone asks him about his opinion or challenges him. So we've been talking (secretly) about starting a new (or continuing) campaign when he goes off to college.
TLDR: Group has started back up and now everyone has seen what ive been seeing in X, and discussing game without him
 

Eltab

Lord of the Hidden Layer
Well, this is progress of a sort. Keep in mind that the rest of the group is going to have to cover anew ground you already went through, deciding what / if action to take and what they think / feel about it. Be patient and supportive as they work through the process.
 


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