Do you ever successfully remain friends with ex's?

[nerfherder]

OK, I'm sure we've all been there. We've either heard, or uttered the phrase "Let's just be friends". Now, I'm curious as to whether people have actually done that - changed from being lovers to being friends - with any success.


I'll define an ex as someone that you would regard as having been a partner/lover/significant other/girlfriend/boyfriend for at least a couple of months, but no longer is. I don't want you to include people that you dated once or twice, or one-night-stands.

By friend, I mean someone that you'd actively like to hang round with, phone up for a chat, go out for lunch with, but not be romantically involved with.

And by successful, I mean that both of you are happy with the situation.


For myself, I would say that I do about half the time.


Cheers,
Liam

 

[the Jester]

Yes, most of the time.

Usually there was a reason we went out in the first place- I don't want to lose a friend over something like a relationship.

Of course, there are exceptions- some ex's and I have no interest in being friends again.

 

[Tanager]

Most of the time for me, at least for a while, and then life moves onwards and you drift out of each others lives completely.

 

[Lady_Acoma]

Yes, in most cases. I will say that normally there is a period where we need to be apart from each other a bit (maybe not totally mind you) to let emotions settle down. But then in those cases we reacquaint and often become as good, or in a few cases better friends then before.

 

[jeff37923]

Yes, although I admit that I have had a few ex-girlfriends who I stay as far away from as possible.

The funny thing is this, after I broke up with my last girlfriend, I started giving her some dating advice and eventually arrainged for her to meet her husband. For this, I have given myself bragging rights (that they have a wonderful baby girl out of the marriage just gives me louder bragging rights - often balanced by babysitting).

 

[loki44]

Never. Probably could've if I let it happen, but never have. Not out of bitterness or anything, just too wierd.

 

[Chimera]

Well considering the nuclear level of slander and blame that my ex-wife spread, there is no chance of us ever being friends. I will never trust her enough to be in the same room with her, even in the presence of others.

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

Normally, if there's a reason for us to bust up, I find that at least one party has no interest in being around the other as a result. Sometimes it's a little irrational, IMO (not being friends with someone who doesn't want kids immediately hardly impacts a friendship -- that's just carried-over bad feeling), but in one case it worked out for me, because we never broke up for any reason other than I moved overseas. So we don't have any negative issues towards each other, from either side. Of course, it's also not helpful to go "hey, she's still looking pretty good" when we're both married now.

 

[DaveStebbins]

Well, time and distance have permanently separated me and all my previous girlfriends. My ex-wife and I get along OK. Not great, but OK. Pretty much like when we were married. :\

I still get along pretty well with my ex-mother-in-law, too. We've always been friendly and we're both based enough in reality to leave the past behind us. I probably exchange e-mails with her a couple of times a month.

-Dave

 

[Hellefire]

once. only once