EN World Short Story Smackdown - FINAL: Berandor vs Piratecat - The Judgment Is In!

[FickleGM]

Watching reruns of Queer Eye and crying when the straight guy makes good?



Ah crud. A pox on my inability to read world time zones properly. That's 1:00 am in the morning, so if I don't confirm I've seen the pics for a while it's because I'm in bed, getting my daughter ready for school, taking my daughter to school or working respectively. I'll try to drop into Enworld while she's brushing her teeth

Thanks for that HTW

I should be done mowing the lawn by the time it starts. I'll probably be finished with dinner, as well.

 

[Berandor]

For me it's 1am as well, so please don't sic Tashtego on me after 4 hours or so.

 

[awayfarer]

But you left in spatchcock, regina and crevice. And potty. I demand further edits.

I did not notice these in my original postings and will go back and introduce them into said posts such that they may be removed later. In the mean time I leave you with "winkle."

 

[Berandor]

I'm supremely happy that any smack talk my opponent is able to summon – which, admittedly, is not very much – is aimed squarely at someone else. I knew beforehand I would win this round, but if that is par for the course, then awayfarer will even write to the wrong pictures.

Maybe I should write blind-folded to even the match-up?

 

[Dlsharrock]

Or he considers you such insignificant competition he figures he's assured a win this round and is merely doing some pre-emptive smacktalk with his next round opponent. A kind of 'why unnecessarily wear out your keyboard' sort of situation?

 

[Dlsharrock]

I should be done mowing the lawn by the time it starts. I'll probably be finished with dinner, as well.

You could kill two birds with one stone and graze the lawn. I hear grass is mighty good brain food.

 

[Berandor]

Or he considers you such insignificant competition he figures he's assured a win this round and is merely doing some pre-emptive smacktalk with his next round opponent. A kind of 'why unnecessarily wear out your keyboard' sort of situation?

Hmm... could be.

Anyway, the blindfold is out of the picture, just to be sure.

 

[awayfarer]

I subscribe to the holistic method of smacktalk. This method focuses on the fundamental interconnectedness of all things and thereby I must consider all competitors to be my "one" opponent. If I were to address Berandor directly it would be as if I were merely speaking to 1/15th of a human being. It all ties in with the 1978 Holland/Akers theory that...

Y'know what, nevermind. I'm a terrible writer. I can't even think of a way to explain this with words small enough for my opponent to understand. If someone will PM me with a list of the problem words I can break down the polysyllabic ones for you.

Edit: Removed "winkle" from this post and added "Spigot", "Wang" and "Hydrocephalus"*

*attorneys at law

 

[Herremann the Wise]

Round One - Match One
FickleGM vs. Dlsharrock

You have 72 hours from this post to submit your entries. Best of luck from the judges!

 

[Herremann the Wise]

Round One - Match Four
Berandor vs. Awayfarer

You have 72 hours from this post to submit your entries. Best of luck from the judges!