Mordane76
First Post
Calinon said:X12
"And if remembering gives them a way to control you again, would you want that? Or had you even considered that you might return to being an assassin if you remember everything? Maybe you want to..." Xi says.
"I will still help you, though I do not think you have thought this three. And do not include me in any of your plans for vengeance. I do not wish to be discovered by the man in my dreams."
X12 sighs. "If they wanted to, I'm sure they could try to control us again, remembering or not, Xi -- if they had the power over us they did then, I can't believe they couldn't attempt to exercise it over us now if they chose. Maybe, in knowing who I was... I'll find a way to stop them from hurting me again... or a way to hurt them like they hurt me.
"I don't want you to help me find them, after I have my memories. Stay here, live however you want -- I want to know. I will not live in terror of a bogeyman that I can barely remember, even if he does frighten me. I would rather return to whatever life they made for us than live in fear, or live not knowing.
"I don't know who I am. They took that from me. Or they never gave it to me... regardless I want to know. Your Master said that no memory can change who you wish to be -- I don't know what I wish to be, because I don't truly know who I was. All I know is that I don't wish to be a killer -- trying to reconcile myself to that memory isn't possible; I can't be that kind of man -- it was impossible trying to be that kind of man when I thought it was my memory... thinking I slit her throat so methodically and coldly... I can't do now... knowing it's not even my memory."