Epic Skills: Broken but HILARIOUS

[Sundragon2012]

Okay, I was just reading through epic skills, and I honestly haven't laughed so hard since the last Adam Sandler movie I saw. Some of the stuff there just isn't possible regardless of skill, yet the book implies it's natural talent. Funny stuff. Here are some classics for those who haven't read up in a while:



Implanting a suggestion to swim in a pool of acid because it'd be refreshing gives the opposing Sense Motive check +50.

You can scale perfectly smooth ceilings Spider-Man style with a DC 100 Climb check.

You can turn hostile enemies into suicidal fanatics with a DC 150 Diplomacy check.

Using Disable Device as a free action gives the Disable Device DC +100. It's the Fonz effect.

Perfectly training an animal in one minute gives the Handle Animal DC +100.

You can swim up a waterfall with a DC 80 Swim check.

Here is the funniest and most inane of them all:

You could jump out of a plane at 30,000 feet and land on your feet without getting hurt in any way (not even a scratch) with a DC 100 Tumble check.

WotC has quite a wicked sense of humor! Does any DM out there allow these? They seem broken beyond repair to me. A lot of these effects are better than spells even.

It is really stupid and I do not allow character's IMC to become superheroes just good old-fashioned heroes out of sword and sorcery and high fantasy fiction. Conan is the greatest warrior of the Hyborian world but he can't swim a waterfall upstream no matter what. Elric is the Eternal Champion but would die falling 30,000ft no matter what his tumble check. Aragorn is the decendant of old Numenorian (sp?) kings and the heir to the throne of Gondor but cannot perfectly train an animal in 1 minute.

The problem with some of the epic material is that it crosses the line between fantasy fiction into Marvel and DC Comics. Despite magic and whatnot, heroes without the aid of magic are supposed to have human abilities (cinematically conceived of course). Wading through a horde of orcs like Drizz't is one thing, scaling a sheer ice wall without tools or talking the minions of the darklord into becoming the equivalent of suicide bombers for you is ridiculous. Outside of magic, some things, like squeezing your body through a spot to small for your head is dumb and up to this point has had no place in fantasy where magic WAS NOT involved. IMO the examples listed above are examples of a odd design decision that takes D&D leagues from where it used to be conceptually in regards to who characters are and in a direction wholly different from the fantasy fiction that inspired fantasy role-playing.

The Grey Mouser may be a hell of a rogue but his physical limitations, caused by him being a non-magically enhanced human, would simply prevent him from squeezing into 6inch X 6inch space no matter how skilled a rogue he is.

Certain things require magic.

If I can't see the thing done in either good fantasy fiction or even cheap hollywood schlock like the beasmaster (sans his supernatural animal empathy) it doesn't set foot in my game. If I want to run a superhero game I'll run Mutants and Masterminds.


Chris

 

[LostSoul]

The problem with some of the epic material is that it crosses the line between fantasy fiction into Marvel and DC Comics.

Barbarian/Ranger
Adamantine Spiked Gauntlets (or whatever they're called)
Ring of Regeneration
Some magic item that gives you Scent

 

[Crothian]

these are broken, a character with a DC 100 tumble check can.....feather fall a first level spell!! I don't know about you but I think even level 50 characters should be kept away from first level spells......

 

[Sundragon2012]

Barbarian/Ranger
Adamantine Spiked Gauntlets (or whatever they're called)
Ring of Regeneration
Some magic item that gives you Scent

These are magical enhancements that can and do fit in certain fantasy settings. The key words are MAGICAL ENHANCEMENTS. These provide the heroes with abilities above and beyond what they can achive through training or enhanced skills and this is how it should be in fantasy.

In a superhero game, the spiked gauntlets would grow out of the hero's hands and he would be able to regenerate like Wolverine (from X-men) without a ring. There is a huge difference.


Chris

 

[Sundragon2012]

these are broken, a character with a DC 100 tumble check can.....feather fall a first level spell!! I don't know about you but I think even level 50 characters should be kept away from first level spells......

I think I detect sarcasm in your voice there Crothian, and if I am correct I think you are off on this one. According to the line of reasoning that assumes a 50th level warrior should be able to, through skill alone, duplicate a feather fall spell also assumes that a 50th level character could sing a lullaby and put his enemies to sleep with a proper DC check because sleep is only a 1st level spell.

And maybe a 70th level barbarian can shoot lightning bolts out of his arse when he is really pissed because lightning bolt is only a 3rd level spell.


Chris

 

[Teemu]

Despite the near-magical nature of some epic level skill uses, all uses of skills are considered exceptional abilities (except if noted otherwise), and thus function normally even within areas of antimagic.

I wonder if they meant extraordinary.

Extraordinary abilities are nonmagical, though they may break the laws of physics.

 

[Matrix Sorcica]

Okay, I was just reading through epic skills, and I honestly haven't laughed so hard since the last Adam Sandler movie I saw.

So while you read the epic feats you switched between crying for the future of mankind, cursing mankind, cursing Hollywood producers, wanting to kill yourself, wanting to kill anyone but yourself, wanting to kill anyone and yourself or just decide that there must be a least a billion other things to do that would be less painful than having to go though this?

 

[HeavyG]

The Grey Mouser may be a hell of a rogue but his physical limitations, caused by him being a non-magically enhanced human, would simply prevent him from squeezing into 6inch X 6inch space no matter how skilled a rogue he is.

Doesn't the Gray Mouser improvise a method to breathe earth after he's buried alive at one point ? :\

 

[KarinsDad]

I think I detect sarcasm in your voice there Crothian, and if I am correct I think you are off on this one. According to the line of reasoning that assumes a 50th level warrior should be able to, through skill alone, duplicate a feather fall spell also assumes that a 50th level character could sing a lullaby and put his enemies to sleep with a proper DC check because sleep is only a 1st level spell.

And maybe a 70th level barbarian can shoot lightning bolts out of his arse when he is really pissed because lightning bolt is only a 3rd level spell.

In a world of magic, anything should be possible.

Just because Wizards and Sorcerers have to cast Feather Fall doesn't mean that an extremely high level character cannot tune into the ambiant magic around him to do amazing things WITHOUT casting a spell. More like Kung Fu than Marvel.

 

[melkorspawn]

Conan is the greatest warrior of the Hyborian world but he can't swim a waterfall upstream no matter what.

He should've spent more time swimming and less time training to be a great warrior... maybe he would've wound up with 80 ranks of swim.