Ever quit a gaming group because of another player?
- Thread starter AFGNCAAP
- Start date
Treebore
First Post
Yeah, I guess I should ask. Did you give the group, and the DM, a heads up before hand?
I say this because I had a group one time where I knew the group found one guy irritating. I just didn't realize how much. I was in the military and had learned how to deal with people I found very irritating, so this guy wasn't tripping my meter like he was everyone else's. Then the group fortunately came to me and said, "Hey, this guy is driving us nuts! To the point where we will quit playing your game if he doesn't go."
I then found out my wife had issues with him as well.
So I ended up kicking the guy out of the game and out of my life.
So you may want to find out what the "fall out" was, if any. Maybe the rest of the group is ready to kick this guy out and your actions will make it happen. I hope you at least told the DM your willing to play if this guy ever quits or gets kicked out of the group.
Assuming you did like the group and game well enough to go back.
I say this because I had a group one time where I knew the group found one guy irritating. I just didn't realize how much. I was in the military and had learned how to deal with people I found very irritating, so this guy wasn't tripping my meter like he was everyone else's. Then the group fortunately came to me and said, "Hey, this guy is driving us nuts! To the point where we will quit playing your game if he doesn't go."
I then found out my wife had issues with him as well.
So I ended up kicking the guy out of the game and out of my life.
So you may want to find out what the "fall out" was, if any. Maybe the rest of the group is ready to kick this guy out and your actions will make it happen. I hope you at least told the DM your willing to play if this guy ever quits or gets kicked out of the group.
Assuming you did like the group and game well enough to go back.
AFGNCAAP
First Post
Kaladhan said:
Tricky question.
All of the other players (& the DM) have complained about his behavior (primarily the items I listed). However, almost everyone in the group has known each other since high schools &/or are good friends (or friends of friends, etc.). IMO, things have not improved over time, and it's frankly getting old.
The game goes on at the DM's house, so who's allowed to show is based on who he allows over. There's no chance that the problem player will get disinvited unless he causes enough problems for the DM that the DM gets fed up with him and kicks him out. (For example, one former player in this group is a player that I don't have issues with but the DM does: he plays in my Friday games, though he's not welcome at the DM's house or for the DM's games anymore [currently].)
IMO, the DM has the patience of a saint putting up with this guy. However, I frankly have had enough of his antics, and don't care to put up with them anymore.
My ex has said that many of them are nonconfrontational, and deal with things covertly or indirectly overall, or just endure such things rather than put their collective feet down on the issue (she thought that I should have left that group years ago, really).
I hate to say this (because I consider the DM and other players there good friends), but I think I should have bowed out & stayed out of that gaming group a while ago. It's not a nice thought, but it's one I've had.
I may go back to that group if the problem player doesn't attend anymore (at all), but I highly doubt that will ever happen. So, I'm just going to move on and not look back.
AFGNCAAP
First Post
Treebore said:
Well, the above post should cover this question as well. It's all wrapped up in old high school friends complexities & the like. I doubt the group will kick out this player. The only possibility for this guy getting kicked out is if he really crosses a line with the DM that the DM can't forgive. Since the games are hosted at the DM's house (out of necessity, really), the DM has final say on who's in the group & who's not, barring the individual players who opt to leave on their own (like myself, in this instance).
My Friday group is based at a LFGS, so (other than store employees/management's say, if things get to be that much of an issue) it's a bit more democratic (group vote on if a player should be kicked out or not). I've had to ask players to leave or diplomatically decline requests to join/rejoin before in this instance. Sometimes it works out OK; other times I get a dose of vitriol from the player in question—in one instance, dumping responsibility for the suffering they have endured due to their own social inadequacies on me because I'm the one booting them from the group (I'm not kidding on this one).
Would I go back to the game if the problem player weren't around? Honestly, I'm not so sure now. I'd be tempted to, but I'd be less inclined to go back if between now and then I've already moved on.
LordGriffin
First Post
I live with two of my regular gaming buddies. The guy who's parents own the house is our "problem player". This means that every game we run AT the house pretty much has to involve him or he gets pissy and/or suicidal. We could probably find somewhere else to go and not invite him, but our house is actually pretty freaking huge and makes for the ultimate gaming pad. (Huge rooms, huge TV, huge kitchen, swimming pool, etc.) Plus our other gaming options suck (the next best place doesn't even have a table and only has one small couch for seating).
We'd love to get rid of this guy and would if we felt we could, but our rent is only 300 bucks per month here and we're not stupid enough to give that up so that our hobby is slightly more enjoyable.
Why is this guy such a problem? Well, he's spent the majority of the last 15 years of his life playing MMOs. This means that he treats ALL RPGs like computer games. Here's a quick rundown of his playstyle:
*Get Quest
*Kill mobs (even the ones that aren't supposed to be killed)
*Loot everything (even if it's completely improper to do so)
*Beg for XP or other rewards
*Finish quest
*Start next quest
Seriously, this guy doesn't even understand "role playing". It's hideous to watch.
We'd love to get rid of this guy and would if we felt we could, but our rent is only 300 bucks per month here and we're not stupid enough to give that up so that our hobby is slightly more enjoyable.
Why is this guy such a problem? Well, he's spent the majority of the last 15 years of his life playing MMOs. This means that he treats ALL RPGs like computer games. Here's a quick rundown of his playstyle:
*Get Quest
*Kill mobs (even the ones that aren't supposed to be killed)
*Loot everything (even if it's completely improper to do so)
*Beg for XP or other rewards
*Finish quest
*Start next quest
Seriously, this guy doesn't even understand "role playing". It's hideous to watch.
BlueBlackRed
Explorer
I'd have probably left the group sooner, or made enough wise-guy remarks to irritate him into leaving or bringing the thing to a head and had a verbal blowout.
Here's the rule for our group, which you might be able to use as new and unknown players join your other groups: A single "no" vote means the new player has to leave.
We have this rule because I've seen, and been involved in more than one group that a single new player destroyed a game.
IMO if a new player causes another to leave, then you've effectively traded a new and unknown player for a player(s) who you know and enjoyed gaming with.
Here's the rule for our group, which you might be able to use as new and unknown players join your other groups: A single "no" vote means the new player has to leave.
We have this rule because I've seen, and been involved in more than one group that a single new player destroyed a game.
IMO if a new player causes another to leave, then you've effectively traded a new and unknown player for a player(s) who you know and enjoyed gaming with.
WayneLigon
Adventurer
Sounds like you did what you had to do, if the others in the group are aware of this guy's problems and attitude and yet still do nothing to discourage him. I hope you find a good group soon.
Villano
First Post
AFGNCAAP, your player sounds like two guys I gamed with in one group.
The first guy didn't have any respect for other people's things (he'd just reach over and touch your stuff, write on your notes, etc.). He also would spend the entire game badmouthing people. He'd be nice to their face, but, as soon as they were gone, he would start mocking their appearance, the way they talked, etc.
And, even though he was fat and balding, he seemed to be under the impression he was a lady's man. He would talk about women in a, well, let's just say graphic way.
He was just unpleasant. One of his own "friends" even confided in me that he didn't like the guy very much.
The second guy was a cheater. He used to sit at the far end of the table and do the whole "play-roll with a d20 until he gets a good number, then leave it there for the next time a roll is called" thing.
I'm honestly kind of surprised to find that other people do that. That used to drive me nuts. As we were playing, he'd be rolling his dice and rolling his dice, then, when it was his turn, he'd announce, "I rolled an 18."
It was kind of surreal. We would argue with him and he would insist he just rolled and nobody saw or heard him. Finally, our DM made a new rule that we would only use one set of dice during a game and he would hand it to the player when it was their time to roll.
After that, he starting doing the "roll dice at a distance, pick up die, and then state what was rolled" thing.
*grumble*grumble*
The first guy didn't have any respect for other people's things (he'd just reach over and touch your stuff, write on your notes, etc.). He also would spend the entire game badmouthing people. He'd be nice to their face, but, as soon as they were gone, he would start mocking their appearance, the way they talked, etc.
And, even though he was fat and balding, he seemed to be under the impression he was a lady's man. He would talk about women in a, well, let's just say graphic way.
He was just unpleasant. One of his own "friends" even confided in me that he didn't like the guy very much.
The second guy was a cheater. He used to sit at the far end of the table and do the whole "play-roll with a d20 until he gets a good number, then leave it there for the next time a roll is called" thing.
I'm honestly kind of surprised to find that other people do that. That used to drive me nuts. As we were playing, he'd be rolling his dice and rolling his dice, then, when it was his turn, he'd announce, "I rolled an 18."
It was kind of surreal. We would argue with him and he would insist he just rolled and nobody saw or heard him. Finally, our DM made a new rule that we would only use one set of dice during a game and he would hand it to the player when it was their time to roll.
After that, he starting doing the "roll dice at a distance, pick up die, and then state what was rolled" thing.
*grumble*grumble*
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