Kid Charlemagne
I am the Very Model of a Modern Moderator
Jeff Wilder said:
Took me a moment to figure out if you were talking about the player or the cat!
Ever quit a gaming group because of another player?
- Thread starter AFGNCAAP
- Start date
Took me a moment to figure out if you were talking about the player or the cat!
I nearly lost a good player by failing to deal with a bad one.
Disruptive players in general do not 'get better'. My advice is to be completely honest, even if it's difficult. Tell him how it is. If the player continues to be disruptive, do not hesitate to exclude him from the group.
I look forward immensely to my D&D sessions and I'm not having them spoilt by some idiot.
Disruptive players in general do not 'get better'. My advice is to be completely honest, even if it's difficult. Tell him how it is. If the player continues to be disruptive, do not hesitate to exclude him from the group.
I look forward immensely to my D&D sessions and I'm not having them spoilt by some idiot.
Let's see.
I played in one game where one lady's character was, every time, a woman who had been wronged by men at sometime, had problems with her mother, and had to do things "for the children." It'd be different if she didn't come back with the exact same character profile the next time around. I stuck around for two sessions before I just grew tired of it.
I left a game when the GM decided to move us from one day a week to four days a week and all the players agreed.
I left a game when the GM decided to roll for random encounters the entire session, and refused to do much else than that. (I was told by a player that "it's always like this.)
And finally, I left a game where one of the players stank so badly that every time we'd have a game at my place, the house would smell from top to bottom for three to five days.
I played in one game where one lady's character was, every time, a woman who had been wronged by men at sometime, had problems with her mother, and had to do things "for the children." It'd be different if she didn't come back with the exact same character profile the next time around. I stuck around for two sessions before I just grew tired of it.
I left a game when the GM decided to move us from one day a week to four days a week and all the players agreed.
I left a game when the GM decided to roll for random encounters the entire session, and refused to do much else than that. (I was told by a player that "it's always like this.)
And finally, I left a game where one of the players stank so badly that every time we'd have a game at my place, the house would smell from top to bottom for three to five days.
I've never left a game due to another player.
I've never driven a player away with the way I run a game (which is kinda surprising).
But if I were the OP I'd have done the same thing. Cheating is bad, but casual racism seasoned with a dollop of cheapstake-ness is more than want to deal with in social situations.
I've never driven a player away with the way I run a game (which is kinda surprising).
But if I were the OP I'd have done the same thing. Cheating is bad, but casual racism seasoned with a dollop of cheapstake-ness is more than want to deal with in social situations.
arscott
First Post
AFGNCAAP, I don't fault you for quitting. The guy sounds like a real jerk, and If I had to deal with players that annoying, I'd do the same thing.
But that doesn't really forgive your intentionally sporadic attendance. Skipping out on the game based on whether or not the problem player will be there causes headaches for the DM and your fellow players. Maybe I'm misreading, but it sounds like you left a player w/out a ride to the game when you decided to quit. That's not cool.
It's perfectly reasonable (encouraged, even) to quit a game when your not having fun. And if you think you can have fun even with an annoying player, then it's fine to grin and bear it. But don't be a jerk to everyone else just because someone is being a jerk to you.
But that doesn't really forgive your intentionally sporadic attendance. Skipping out on the game based on whether or not the problem player will be there causes headaches for the DM and your fellow players. Maybe I'm misreading, but it sounds like you left a player w/out a ride to the game when you decided to quit. That's not cool.
It's perfectly reasonable (encouraged, even) to quit a game when your not having fun. And if you think you can have fun even with an annoying player, then it's fine to grin and bear it. But don't be a jerk to everyone else just because someone is being a jerk to you.
Achan hiArusa
Explorer
Yeah, just happened to me recently. I have been playing with a gaming group for about nine months and it got to the point where I dreaded going and would be irritable when I got there (it was a 40 minute car trip). The DM was very condescending towards me (as were her NPCs, we had tried dating a year earlier and she dumped me because I didn't earn enough), would short change us on tips when we got food, never apologized for any mistakes she made, would end the game early if we went in a direction she didn't want us to go, never prepared properly for the game, couldn't handle a dramatic moment if it had handles and floated, spent a lot of time getting her DMPC laid, wanted to make sure that if there was an argument that she was always right and had the last word, and when I pointed all this out she "doesn't remember any of it and thus I made it all up because she rejected me a year ago." I finally made the decision after running a game for friends at A-kon and playing a few RPGA rounds at SoonerCon and actually had fun both times that it was time to go. I've done nothing this weekend and it feels much better than showing up for that game.
I'll admit I was inattentive a whole lot but that kind of thing feeds on itself.
I'll admit I was inattentive a whole lot but that kind of thing feeds on itself.
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Achan hiArusa
Explorer
She has been trying to get her bf to play and if I hadn't left by then, I probably would have at that point.
S. Baldrick
Explorer
Yes. I have. It was someone that I dated that I ended up despising.
Fair warning: this is sorta a mini-rant because I totally empathize with playing in a bad group and I'd like to vent a bit myself...
I actually bailed on my group about two weeks ago because of one particular person. He was the DM in one game and a player in mine, but he was an uber-goober and his issues go well beyond the game.
He ran a pretty lackluster game, for starters. The narrative was just flat and boring with no real connection from session to session and the dude just didn't know anything about the rules. This, and he refuses to prepare before game, insisting that he "can wing it." So he's trying to figure attack bonuses and save spell DCs on his fingers when we encounter a 5th-level ogre barbarian. He'd also tell players pretty brazen stuff like, "By the way, the thieves' guild is angry at you so they kidnap you in the middle of the night. No one can do anything about it, so don't bother with Spot or Listen checks." (Yes, that's a direct quote.) His style was very ham-fisted and adversarial, and he tried to "win" by screwing over the other players whenever they derailed his flimsy plots.
When he played in the games that I ran, he shouted over all the other players and insisted that they had to do what he said because he was the paladin. Whenever he failed a roll, he'd flat-out ask to re-roll it "because he didn't make it the first time." Yes, this dude was ballsy enough to flat-out fail a roll and ask to reroll until he suceeded.
He also has massive personal issues, the biggest of which was his hygeine. The guy had a massive case of troglodyte stench and insisted that we play in his apartment (which stunk like him, but it was worse because it's a tiny enclosed space with no ventilation.) He'd also want everyone to pay him approximately $10/session to cook dinner for the group, and he'd cook stuff like a box of rice-a-roni and pink steaks (and insist that the players bring their own snacks and drinks to share too). He had disturbing personal issues with other people in the group and at the game store we frequented. I'm not going into details because it's pretty disturbing, but suffice to say, this chap certainly has a way of clearing a room when he enters.
The great majority of sessions devolved into some sort of tension over either the game or his personal issues, so I stopped going. I play D&D for fun, not to help someone exercise creative narcissism or to work through their control/self-image issues. I'm not a therapist or a "life coach" or whatever the preferred title is. If the game isn't fun, I stop going. But I do try to be constructive about it and part on friendly terms whenever possible.
I actually bailed on my group about two weeks ago because of one particular person. He was the DM in one game and a player in mine, but he was an uber-goober and his issues go well beyond the game.
He ran a pretty lackluster game, for starters. The narrative was just flat and boring with no real connection from session to session and the dude just didn't know anything about the rules. This, and he refuses to prepare before game, insisting that he "can wing it." So he's trying to figure attack bonuses and save spell DCs on his fingers when we encounter a 5th-level ogre barbarian. He'd also tell players pretty brazen stuff like, "By the way, the thieves' guild is angry at you so they kidnap you in the middle of the night. No one can do anything about it, so don't bother with Spot or Listen checks." (Yes, that's a direct quote.) His style was very ham-fisted and adversarial, and he tried to "win" by screwing over the other players whenever they derailed his flimsy plots.
When he played in the games that I ran, he shouted over all the other players and insisted that they had to do what he said because he was the paladin. Whenever he failed a roll, he'd flat-out ask to re-roll it "because he didn't make it the first time." Yes, this dude was ballsy enough to flat-out fail a roll and ask to reroll until he suceeded.
He also has massive personal issues, the biggest of which was his hygeine. The guy had a massive case of troglodyte stench and insisted that we play in his apartment (which stunk like him, but it was worse because it's a tiny enclosed space with no ventilation.) He'd also want everyone to pay him approximately $10/session to cook dinner for the group, and he'd cook stuff like a box of rice-a-roni and pink steaks (and insist that the players bring their own snacks and drinks to share too). He had disturbing personal issues with other people in the group and at the game store we frequented. I'm not going into details because it's pretty disturbing, but suffice to say, this chap certainly has a way of clearing a room when he enters.
The great majority of sessions devolved into some sort of tension over either the game or his personal issues, so I stopped going. I play D&D for fun, not to help someone exercise creative narcissism or to work through their control/self-image issues. I'm not a therapist or a "life coach" or whatever the preferred title is. If the game isn't fun, I stop going. But I do try to be constructive about it and part on friendly terms whenever possible.
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