Fellow DM's how would you deal with this player?

Virel

First Post
Gaming last night, I noticed the groups magic user "shadow tracking" all of the damage and to hit rolls against the monsters. His character failed his fear save and was running for it. The beholder had charmed two members of the party and sent them off after the magic user, who fled the dungeon on a preceding round. The magic user wanted to run side action against the two other PC's, I told him to wait until we wrapped up against the beholder before we did that.

The group was in earnest combat but not life or death against a severely wounded beholder. The Beholder had only a handful of hit points left. His main eye was undamaged, he'd lost six of his ten eye stalks, one of the remaining ones was close to being destroyed with 3 or 4 hit points left, the other three eye stalks were undamaged, his main body had exactly 3 hit points left. The party was basically one successful attack against the main body from defeating it. Two fighters were up to swing. One did and missed. The other started to roll.

At this point the magic user announced, the beholder had only three eye stalks left not four as I had indicated at the start of the current round. I stated the beholder had four and started to go on. He whipped out his shadow tracked damage sheet and declared it did not because since I don't let him or other players see my damage notes, he keeps up with his own tracking of the parties damage.

I was pretty much stunned. In part because I had asked the group of players to give this fellow a try out. He's played in other groups I've DM'd but I've never found him disruptive in the past.

Breaking with tradition, I told him the 4th eye stalk had 4 hit points left. He started arguing that it didn't that such and such damage by so and so took place on round such and such and he was sure it had taken 8 pts of damage not 4 as I stated. I check my notes and I had 4pts of damage marked. 2 from fire & 2 from a hit. I told him that wasn't what my notes showed. Several other players, about 3/4 of the group told him he was way out of line at the same time. He insisted he was right. They told him it didn't matter what was on his sheet what mattered was what was on the DM's sheet. The DM takes care of that not players.

He continuted to press the matter. Honestly, in 17 years of DMing, I've never had something like this happen. I was taken aback and at this point, anger washed over me like a white sheet of flame. I told him that my notes had for the eye stalk and four remained. He kept disputing. Several players were visibilty upset and told him to quit arguing with the DM, that I was fair in my treatment and dealings in the way the game was ran. He said something else. I said lets get back on task.

Here's where the problem came. My concentration was shattered. I had no idea where I was game wise. The fighter rolled. He had to tell me two or three times that he hit and what his damage was. I knew at that point. I was more upset than I realized. Never had this happen in a game session before.

I told the group, I needed five to collect my thoughts on the game. Thing is I couldn't collect them. All I could think about was, how this player had just out of the blue disrupted the game session when his character wasn't even present. Several players followed me out of the session and wanted to talk about how inappropriate the other players actions were. I just told them I needed a few mintues alone.

After about ten minutes, I knew I couldn't DM fairly because I was mad. I refuse to DM in that sort of situation. That's never happened to me before. I've always been able to shake stuff off, but the more I thought about it I realized, it wasn't a math error or a misunderstanding being questioned, it was something else on a personal level.

I went back and told them, I only DM when I know I can be objective and unbiased toward the players. The argument the player started had me doubting if I would be fair or objective going forward so I was calling the session.

I gathered my stuff up. I over heard bits of what other players were saying to the magic user's player. He was apologizing within minutes, repeatedly. I told him not worry about. When I got home, there was an email apology waiting. This surprised me.

How do I shake of the lingering effects? Right now I don't want to play D&D and I sure don't want to DM. While this player helps with lots of other out of game stuff, I really don't want to deal with him again. One of his emails is asking me to teach him how to DM.

Any suggestions of "getting" my neutrality back, putting this event out of mind getting excited about the game again? I would appreciate them.

FWIW - this didn't happen with my long time group, it happened with the new group that started.
 

log in or register to remove this ad

It seems you arte not alone in the group about not liking what he did as other spoke to him to have him stop. First, decide if you want the guy back. If you do want to try to game with the guy talk to him. Ask him why he keeps track of all the damages and why he second guessed you. It sounds to me like a trust issue, he doesn't trust you on some level so he has to keep track of everything to make sure you are honest.

If you want him back ask that he not keep track of stuff ofr one session and then during that session see how things react and go forth. Good call on not gaming mad, that never works out well.
 

Take the disruptive player aside and keep them aside until they agree to abide by your rulings and not be disruptive. If they agree, move on and forget about it. If it happens repeatedly, remove them from the group.

As to your getting over it, that will come with enough time and your understanding that you have a way to deal with such matters that allows you to remain as a detached adjudicator and not as just one of several people caught up in the drama.
 
Last edited:

Wow. I've never seen rules lawyering so blatant before. I don't think I've ever encountered anyone keeping detailed DM notes that was a DM before.

I'm not sure what to tell you. If this guy isn't a good friend of yours, I would ask him to leave the game. Since it sounds like he annoyed pretty much everyone there. I know I would be pretty annoyed if the game stopped because some jerk pissed the DM off. That would be enough to make me hate the guy.

If you're willing to forgive and forget, make him DM. He's obviously perfect at it. Who knows, maybe he's a great GM, weirder things have happened. But it sounds like there could always be this enmity there, and it might end up ruining your fun and the fun of everyone involved.

But it sounds to me like the feeling might be mutual. If he thinks your a crappy GM (it certainly doesn't sound that way) and you guys don't like him, then maybe its best for both parties to go their separate ways.
 

Firstly, you did the right thing by calling for a break, and then cutting the session short when you didn't feel able to continue.

Secondly, you shouldn't worry about your impartiality: either the player was wrong and you were being fair, or you made an honest mistake, and were being fair. Either way, you shouldn't worry on that count.

Going forward, I suggest three things:

1) At the next regular session, you need to DM again. The longer it takes you to get back in the saddle, the harder it will be. I suggest keeping the game simple, and fairly light. Next session is not the time for the crucial next chapter of your epic multi-year campaign - keep it simple until the bruises fade.

2) I would suggest to the group that players should not keep track of damage alongside what the DM's doing. Explain that there are some times where an opponent has an immunity that they don't know about, or that you just don't want them tracking all that stuff. Hell, explain to them that sometimes you'll make mistakes, despite your best efforts, and you don't want them second-guessing you.

3) Suggest also that there should be a limit placed on player/DM arguements. Basically, they should be free to query what's going on, since the DM will make mistakes, but it's your responsibility to run the game and make the calls. Once a decision has been made, the players should just get on with it. Since you're clearly making every effort to be fair in running that game, your players should feel able to trust you to do that.

Basically, it seems that what the player did was rude, and he now realises that. It also looks like he didn't mean to cause the trouble he did, and won't do it again. As evidence, I point to all the apologies you've received. More than likely, you won't have this problem to deal with again.

I hope some of that helps.
 

If the guy stepped up, admitted he was being an ass, and apologized, I think you've got to let bygones be bygones and put it behind you. Once does not a pattern make. If he acts inappropriately again, then ask him to leave.
 

What did he mean "...run side action against the other two PCs..."? He is going about trying to impress you the wrong way if that is what this was. First thing to do with the DM instruction is ask him the question you asked in your posting - how would he deal with someone who did what he did?

The best thing to finish off that battle is to do it without that player around. His guy is outside and won't effect the rest of the battle, so just don't have him around. finish off the fight, then talk to your players about whether you want to continue DMing or take a break.

It might be unfortunate, but better off for you and the group for you to keep the fun in the game if you do take a break and play.
 

It sounds like an issue of trust. For whatever reason, the player feels he can't trust you to run a fair, fun game.

What would I do? I would point out that the player doesn't seem to trust me as a DM. Either he needs to trust me, or we should admit that our differences are going to impact the fun that everyone else will be having at the table. In theory, everyone is gaming to have fun, so why would anybody want to pursue a path that is sure to not be fun.

If you don't have a strong motivation to keep the player in the group, cut him loose. If you do want to keep the player in the game, ask him if he can trust you to run the game and find out what he will do to avoid similar situations in the future. If he can't keep himself in check, cut him loose anyway.
 

It is a game.

It is not a personal attack, so don't treat as such. It is a difference of opinion in which the player overstepped the line.

Accept the apology at face value and let it go. Why are you doubting yourself after DMing for 17 years because one new guy was a jerk. He had a 'jerk' moment and is now probably is regretting it.

State at the next session your policy on dispute resolution. This is how it will be handled....no exceptions.

If the fact he 'shadow marks' everything bothers you, tell him that 'shadow marking' implies a lack of trust to you. He stops doing it or he can find another group.

And finally.....you can hang his character's head over the mantle whenever you want. You have the power. Revel in it and don't let this incident bother you further.
 

If someone did that in games I play in, he would be soundly laughed at. Even were he correct and the beholder should have been missing another eyestalk, the DM is god and if he says the beholder has 1001 eyestalks left, so it has. No need to get upset about it. I'd just let him know that he can call my mistakes as he spots them - in fact, I'd appreciate that - but if I say "No, that's the way it is" then he had better take the hint and drop it.
 

Remove ads

Top