Fellow DM's how would you deal with this player?

[jmichels]

He said he was sorry so I would just let the whole thing drop. He knows what he did is wrong and would probably not do it again. Just cool down about the whole thing and move on. If you can't let it go or quit DMing over it then maybe you should do some soul searching on why this one incident made you so angry. Maybe you are appoaching burn out.

Finally, I would certainly teach him how to DM and let him run side combats if you trust him. It would be a great way to let off some steam when you jump in as a player. I feel this always juices me up and gets the DnD passion back for me.

 

[Chimera]

I think people have pretty much given you good advice, other than the occasional bit of self-righteous abuse (*ahem*).

Like others say, it sounds like he's realized the errors of his ways and wants to amend things. I'd say give him the chance to do so.

On my own part (feel free to ignore any or all of this), I'd tell him;

A> Dude, don't ever argue the the GM in any game. The GM is the person who decides how much treasure there is, how tough the monsters are and all the other fun details. You can't win, you can only piss him off. This is not a good idea with me or with anyone else you're likely to game with.

B> The stats in the Monster Manual (and other places) are not cast in stone. If I want to give one stalk on a Beholder a couple of extra hit points, or give the standard Orc 14 hit points, or make Goblins magic resistant, that's my perogative. Besides, have you noticed this thing in the stat block called "Advancement"? How'd you like to meet a 33 hit die Beholder next time?

C> You not only argued with me and made me so angry that I couldn't continue the session, but you angered the other players as well. This should have been a strong clue that you were doing something wrong. Next time pay attention to the social clues.

D> Don't ever ask me to stop one combat or narrative event to play out another one. It breaks the flow and annoys the heck out of me and the people involved in the flow you want me to set aside.

E> Next time you do anything like this at all, you're out of the game. Period.


Beyond this, don't sweat it too much. Your GMing is not at issue here and you have no need to question anything about yourself. As a wise man above said, get back in the saddle and play your game.

Oh, and completely ignore the "teach me to GM" bit. He's sucking up and this is not somewhere you need to go. If he presses the matter, say "not right now" and let it go. If he persists, then tell him to learn by observing, but to stop bothering you about it.

 

[Mokona]

Feeling Friendly

If you'd like to feel positive or friendly towards this person you should try the following: do something nice for them. Or do many nice things for them.

When you force yourself to do nice things for something you inevitably come to like them. It works with parents; who invariably (or at least the 99% of sane parents) like their children precisely because parents give so much to their children.

 

[Virel]

I greatly appreciate the input. That is helping me put this one to rest.

I will give the player another chance as suggested above.

Law will be laid down.

 

[Mark]

I greatly appreciate the input. That is helping me put this one to rest.

I will give the player another chance as suggested above.

Law will be laid down.

You are well on the way to recovery. Now, get back out there and slaughter some PCs with nothing more than a kobold wielding a soup spoon. You'll feel much better then.

 

[IronWolf]

I would accept the apology. Sometimes new groups can have a bit of a breaking in period. It might be worth talking to him before the next game to dissect what exactly went wrong, but it sounds like if he had an apology waiting for you when you got home that was indeed sorry and realized he was out of line.

 

[DarrenGMiller]

It is definitely a trust issue, as others have said.

You have been given a whole bunch of advice, most of it sound. Most importantly, you have the viewpoints of all of the people who responded to give you perspective. However you resolve it, whether by taking a DM break, running the game with or without the player, do it and stick to it. This is a wonderful place where we can come for lots of advice and perspective.

In the "what I would have done" department:

I would have immediately given the beholder a Ring of Regeneration around one of his remaining eyestalks... heck, make it an Invisible Ring of Regeneration.

Well, I wish you and your game the best. Please let us know what you decide to do. As a DM who has survived player problems (and whose players have survived DM problems to be sure), I am curious as to what course you decide and how it works.

Best Wishes!

DM

 

[Ds Da Man]

I've had this happen, well, close to it. I really seem to notice the rules lawyering in 3e. Mainly from new players who were excited about the game, and really took to learning the rules. Being from 1e and 2e, where you needed a lot more house rules, I tend to get mad at the players sometimes also. Don't sweat it, just tell 'em their welcome to play elsewhere if they don't like how you DM.
This also a reason I change monsters all the time. Following out of the MM just leads me to more trouble!

 

[Chimera]

You are well on the way to recovery. Now, get back out there and slaughter some PCs with nothing more than a kobold wielding a soup spoon. You'll feel much better then.

The flaw in your logic, Mark is that if the players manage to win, then they will have the soup spoon! An artifact like that can unbalance the whole campaign!

 

[Gorrstagg]

I greatly appreciate the input. That is helping me put this one to rest.

I will give the player another chance as suggested above.

Law will be laid down.

Virel, I'm glad to see you actually took the time to read the posts from all involved. Sometimes, and objective stepping aside, can really bring to light ways to address issues that you may be having.

I'm glad your also giving the guy a chance. Because it really seemed to be an out of the blue experience, and he sounds like he didn't realize how much of a social problem he presented, that he's going to be taking that whole session to heart. It may really and truly help him to become a better player, and increase his social awareness. Sometimes folks just don't realize how much of an ass they make of themselves, until it brings up real consequences.

Sorry I didn't include my usual evaluations for the player, in question with presenting the issue in private to him. So HE doesn't lose face. (Thanks for catching that Twofalls.) Because, by doing so, your giving him respect. Which he will then be grateful for. And will really truly learn from this incident.

And Twofalls, thanks again for that catch. I was more focused on making sure I addressed the DM's quandries in this one, that were standing out, and would of normally included that portion about talking to the newbie privately.

Good to see, that there are some old gaming vets out there, and that some of us share similar views on DMing.