Having played d&d almost exclusively with an all male group, the concept of a female gamer is somewhat foreign to me. In the dozen or so sessions I've played with female players, I've found that female gamers, by virtue of their gender alone, change the gameplay experience dramatically.
I think they can shift the social dynamic of a group significantly. I've been in two groups that have stayed all-male in part because of a desire to defend the guys' night dynamic the groups have had. But these groups have been the exception.
Most gaming dynamics that people want tend to be more easily achieved with female players in the mix in my experience. If you want better role-playing, more focus on story, less cross-talk, more cooperation or a host of other things most groups want, in principle, adding female players tends to get you closer to this. Only if you want more gross-out humour, drunker players, more teasing and regular sodomy jokes in your game dynamic does keeping female players out get you closer to your desired game dynamic. Sometimes I want those things (and then I usually keep female players out) but usually I don't.
Hear me out now, I've got nothing against female players. They're awesome and everything. The problem arises mostly with the male players whenever there's a female present. They almost always act differently. Some guys will hold back from being their normal selves and restrain themselves from cracking potentially offensive jokes where they otherwise wouldn't hesitate.
Agreed. If offensive jokes and uninhibited bawdy discourse are priorities for your group, don't add female players.
Some guys will go out of their way to try to impress the female, in game or otherwise. I've wanted to pull out my hair during sessions where guys spent the entire 3 hours chatting up the girl, distracting her and everyone else from the session and holding it up.
That's a problem with that particular male player. If he'd been gay, he would have screwed-up all your games.
If that kind of behaviour is common, you are playing with people who are too rude and/or too desperate.
Has anyone else had similar experiences?
Women reducing dirty jokes. Yes. My solution: put women in groups where you want fewer not more dirty jokes.
Women getting hit on mercilessly by players. No. My solution: get players who do this on their own time.
I want to include a few female friends into my gaming sessions but I don't want the atmosphere of the group to change.
Well, then don't include them in the group you've got. Instead, make a new group with a different atmosphere and include them in that.
