D&D 5E Fun, fun, fun... 'till the DM takes the T-Bird away

[Gardens & Goblins]

Whose "fun" matters most? Does each person at the table have the rights to unbound fun individually? Should you take into account what the others at the table feel about it? Do you try to measure it in terms of how many people at the table enjoy it?

My fun matters more than your fun. Disagree? Let's fun over it - winner funs all until next funning.

BRING YOUR A-GAME - I'll bring the snacks..

 

[CydKnight]

Whose "fun" matters most?

From one's own personal point-of-view it will nearly always be your own fun that matters most. It's what they call human nature for us to be seeking benefit for ourselves first. This doesn't mean we don't consider the fun of others. It simply means we typically give priority to your own. This isn't what many will want to admit but it's the truth about how this typically works.

To the outsider who is completely neutral in the matter, everyone's fun equally matters. We all have a right to our own fun as long as it does not impede upon the right of fun of others. To one who is acutely tuned in to such things, you will find enjoyment in the fun of others.

 

[Arnwolf666]

You can't make people have fun. You can't make people get along. You can't make people enjoy your setting. A person's happiness is their own responsibility not the DM's or anyone elses. But you can have disruptive players wanting to make a setting or adventure what it's not and ruin it for others really trying to understand the adventure and setting.

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*

 

[Arnwolf666]

So I agree with the first two sentences.

It's not like you can say, "You vill haff FUN!" and all problem cease. Fun is personal and idiosyncratic.

I disagree with the last sentence. D&D is a group and social activity. Let's use an analogy-

Imagine you are in a long term relationship. There will be times that your significant other wants to do something that you're like, "Ehhh..." and there will be times that you want to do something that your SO is like, "Oh noes...."

In most successful LTR, there's a reasonable balance in that. You give a little, you get a little. The "group" fun isn't accomplished by maximizing individual fun.

It's the same with a D&D table (or most long-term social groups). The overall fun is maximized when everyone isn't pursuing their own individual fun exclusively, but is working together to enhance the group fun. IMO.

Completely disagree with your analogy. If your significant other is making you do what you don't want to do then you are in a bad abusive relationship and need to get out. If you have to be miserable to make that other person happy then that is a scary relationship to be in.

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*

 

[Arnwolf666]

Um ... okay. And if you have a table where the DM is TPK'ing you within 5 minutes every time, maybe you find a new table?

I'm wondering if you might not understood the point, or maybe don't have much experience with LTRs, or other social groups?

In a group situation (whether it's an LTR, or a group of friends, or a social club, or a gaming group), you don't always get YOUR GREATEST FUN every single time. Instead, there are tradeoffs. Maybe you really wanted Thai food, but everyone else wanted pizza, so you get pizza! And next time, everyone gets Thai food.

Maybe you love rom-coms, and your SO loves horror films. So you watch the occasional horror film, and your SO watches the occasional rom-com, and you both love Shaun of the Dead.

Heck, maybe neither you nor your SO loves cleaning, but you decide to do the dishes, and your SO decides to clean the bathroom (or vice versa).

Maybe you love the social aspect of D&D, and someone else at the table loves combat. Well, hopefully you both can have fun, and it isn't just social, or just combat.

Because the group fun (the fact that you're doing something with people whose company you enjoy) is great enough that you aren't concerned with maximizing your individual fun. Or, put more simply- it's more fun to do things with people, and that fun is enough that you are willing to give (and get!) when it comes to individual fun.

No idea what you are talking about. But if she or he makes you that unhappy you should leave. Get help. Find a hotline. you seem to support my argument because if the DM is TPKing me every 5 minutes I will go somewhere else and play.

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*

 

[CydKnight]

Um ... okay. And if you have a table where the DM is TPK'ing you within 5 minutes every time, maybe you find a new table?

I'm wondering if you might not understood the point, or maybe don't have much experience with LTRs, or other social groups?

In a group situation (whether it's an LTR, or a group of friends, or a social club, or a gaming group), you don't always get YOUR GREATEST FUN every single time. Instead, there are tradeoffs. Maybe you really wanted Thai food, but everyone else wanted pizza, so you get pizza! And next time, everyone gets Thai food.

Maybe you love rom-coms, and your SO loves horror films. So you watch the occasional horror film, and your SO watches the occasional rom-com, and you both love Shaun of the Dead.

Heck, maybe neither you nor your SO loves cleaning, but you decide to do the dishes, and your SO decides to clean the bathroom (or vice versa).

Maybe you love the social aspect of D&D, and someone else at the table loves combat. Well, hopefully you both can have fun, and it isn't just social, or just combat.

Because the group fun (the fact that you're doing something with people whose company you enjoy) is great enough that you aren't concerned with maximizing your individual fun. Or, put more simply- it's more fun to do things with people, and that fun is enough that you are willing to give (and get!) when it comes to individual fun.

Give and take is a fundamentally viable trade-off as long as you accept it for what it is. It doesn't even mean you have to like it. The alternative is not to accept it and either do it reluctantly anyway or not do it at all. The problems arise from non-acceptance as this is where things like misery come into play. All or nearly all of us have done things we didn't necessarily want to do but it didn't make us miserable (afraid, angry, sad, frustrated) because we allowed that situation to be as it was.

 

[lowkey13]

*Deleted by user*