Stone Angel
First Post
I was just wondering if your PC's have ever said hillarious things during a session. Please try to keep things in character, if not there are all these inside jokes and nobody understands and they become like whatever.
Funniest thing in a game (in character or out)
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Stone Angel
First Post
Like one time a puppet master had sold these dolls to the kids in a small port town. The dolls took over the souls of important people. Any way the pc's discovered a small wearhouse with these things. After some fighting one pc saw the guard rushing toward the building so he barred the door. The guards beat on it and asked "Whats going on in there?" I looked at one player whose character was closest to the door. His reply: "Pull up your pants Jeremy!"
Hands-down funniest thing I've ever heard in a game:
Our party had stealthily crept into a cult lair where a horrible sacrifice of babies to some demon was being performed. The evil in the air was palpable.
We closed to within striking range of the vile cultists, and struck!
The cult leader, an imposing hooded figure who radiated evil said, in the GM's best dead-serious, booming voice:
"YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR IMPOTENCE!!!"
It took at least half an hour to restore order to the gaming table.
Our party had stealthily crept into a cult lair where a horrible sacrifice of babies to some demon was being performed. The evil in the air was palpable.
We closed to within striking range of the vile cultists, and struck!
The cult leader, an imposing hooded figure who radiated evil said, in the GM's best dead-serious, booming voice:
"YOU SHALL PAY FOR YOUR IMPOTENCE!!!"
It took at least half an hour to restore order to the gaming table.
Mine is half funny and half scary. A group of friends had just made a party and they were playinf for a while. One of the guys made an Elf, not sure he was a rogue, and he was always bragging about being the son of a prince or something. He always said things like "you can't treat me like this, I'm royalty" and stuff like that t the other players. One day a friend of ours, total wack job, was just fed up with it. So he, and the rest of the group didn't help the guy, I'm not sure why, I was not present at the time, tied the guy and was ready for paiback time. Ok, I'm not sure of this is funny or scary but I'm laughing while I right so I might as well go on. He yelled "Now I'm gonna show you the royalty!" and he RAPED the guy..... LOL
P.S - This sort of thing just do not happen in my games or any game I've played! When they told me the story i could not help myself... i laughed for hours!
P.S - This sort of thing just do not happen in my games or any game I've played! When they told me the story i could not help myself... i laughed for hours!
Moe Ronalds
First Post
Me(DM): Hey, why don't we play now?
Player: I don't feel like it!
Me: Too bad.
The player (who didn't want to join the campaign at first because she thought the PHB was 'insulting' to elves) proceeded to jump up with a large, sharp pin. She then ran at me, and I ran around the couch for a few minutes, before grabbing two drumsticks on the table. Using the drumsticks, and proving that I must have the sunder feat when my co-dm threw her a set of drumsticks of her own, saying he wanted to see his walls painted in boood, I managed to keep her from injuring me, and at the same time landing a few hits (I was mostly fighting defensively, I didn't want to hurt her (but I found out today she got a bruise from the fight)). Eventually, I twisted my ankle by taking a bad jump and ended the fight rather quickly by knocking her pin away. Anyway, my co-dm started complaining again that neither of us bled, and so she decided she wanted to fight me again. I said it wouldn't be fair because I had twisted my ankle and she already had her weapons ready. She said she didn't care about a fair fight, and I made the mistake of saying she must be a cowardly bitch then. I then promptly jumped up and grabbed the drum sticks off of the table at the other end of the room....
Player: I don't feel like it!
Me: Too bad.
The player (who didn't want to join the campaign at first because she thought the PHB was 'insulting' to elves) proceeded to jump up with a large, sharp pin. She then ran at me, and I ran around the couch for a few minutes, before grabbing two drumsticks on the table. Using the drumsticks, and proving that I must have the sunder feat when my co-dm threw her a set of drumsticks of her own, saying he wanted to see his walls painted in boood, I managed to keep her from injuring me, and at the same time landing a few hits (I was mostly fighting defensively, I didn't want to hurt her (but I found out today she got a bruise from the fight)). Eventually, I twisted my ankle by taking a bad jump and ended the fight rather quickly by knocking her pin away. Anyway, my co-dm started complaining again that neither of us bled, and so she decided she wanted to fight me again. I said it wouldn't be fair because I had twisted my ankle and she already had her weapons ready. She said she didn't care about a fair fight, and I made the mistake of saying she must be a cowardly bitch then. I then promptly jumped up and grabbed the drum sticks off of the table at the other end of the room....
Donatello
Explorer
One In-Game and the other out:
IG:
The forces of the Balrog all around, the demon armies closing in, the valiant dwarf, Ghin the Giantslayer, was cooped up in his tower with only a few hundred soldiers. An emissary from the Balrog arrived, carrying a scroll of human flesh ready for Ghin to sign to concede the war and surrender the stronghold. Ghin opens the gatehouse door and peers that emissary right in the eye and says "You go back and tell your master that he is but a mere stepping stone upon my path to world conquest!"
OOG:
DM: Does anyone have a pencil?
Me, playing an assassin (1e, old school), tosses one. It turns end over end in mid air, and hits the wall, point-first, a mere three inches from the DM's head. Without missing a beat (or even flinching at his brush with maiming)
DM: Does anyone but the assassin have a pencil?
IG:
The forces of the Balrog all around, the demon armies closing in, the valiant dwarf, Ghin the Giantslayer, was cooped up in his tower with only a few hundred soldiers. An emissary from the Balrog arrived, carrying a scroll of human flesh ready for Ghin to sign to concede the war and surrender the stronghold. Ghin opens the gatehouse door and peers that emissary right in the eye and says "You go back and tell your master that he is but a mere stepping stone upon my path to world conquest!"
OOG:
DM: Does anyone have a pencil?
Me, playing an assassin (1e, old school), tosses one. It turns end over end in mid air, and hits the wall, point-first, a mere three inches from the DM's head. Without missing a beat (or even flinching at his brush with maiming)
DM: Does anyone but the assassin have a pencil?
maransreth
Explorer
In my wife's first adventure that she DMed, we had to go through these caverns, blah blah and ended up finding a gold dragon who was flying down from the cavern top.
DM (Dragon voice): What is that that I smell down there?
Me: *waves hand in front of nose* Ooops! Sorry about that!
The whole group pissed ourselves laughing for ages and every time we were ok to start playing again, someone else would say Ooops and we would all crack up again.
The other funny thing was that this dragon was virtually myopic and didn't have his glasses and that was why he said what do I smell. So we ended up having to find this dragon's glasses and drag them back to him.
DM (Dragon voice): What is that that I smell down there?
Me: *waves hand in front of nose* Ooops! Sorry about that!
The whole group pissed ourselves laughing for ages and every time we were ok to start playing again, someone else would say Ooops and we would all crack up again.
The other funny thing was that this dragon was virtually myopic and didn't have his glasses and that was why he said what do I smell. So we ended up having to find this dragon's glasses and drag them back to him.
Well, mine is from a Shadowrun game a long time ago.
For what ever reason, our group had to enter the target building. Well, my character, the Pyscal Adept (Martial Artist type of guy) was also the demolistions expert and proceeded to blow up the main door.
Then the rest of the party hussles on with all the stealth of a herd of buffalo, taking positions cover the interior door.
At that point my character saunters on in, though the smoke and rubble, looks to the rest of the team...."Subtlety is our strong point."
-The Luddite
For what ever reason, our group had to enter the target building. Well, my character, the Pyscal Adept (Martial Artist type of guy) was also the demolistions expert and proceeded to blow up the main door.
Then the rest of the party hussles on with all the stealth of a herd of buffalo, taking positions cover the interior door.
At that point my character saunters on in, though the smoke and rubble, looks to the rest of the team...."Subtlety is our strong point."
-The Luddite
Uh, wait, that's not what I meant!
We were playing in a game of Star Wars (old d6) and my character was being tempted by a Sith lord to join him...
Sith: The dark side will make you stronger, more powerful. Men will bow before you. Join me!
Me: I have tasted the dark side, and it is bad.
(there was a brief pause and then...)
GM OOC: You have tasted WHAT?
Laughter followed for quite a long time.
I meant to say "I have tasted THE POWER of the dark side, and it is bad."
We were playing in a game of Star Wars (old d6) and my character was being tempted by a Sith lord to join him...
Sith: The dark side will make you stronger, more powerful. Men will bow before you. Join me!
Me: I have tasted the dark side, and it is bad.
(there was a brief pause and then...)
GM OOC: You have tasted WHAT?
Laughter followed for quite a long time.
I meant to say "I have tasted THE POWER of the dark side, and it is bad."
Scupper said:
On that note, one of my first 3E characters was a half-orc fighter/barb, with a dire flail. So anyway, we're in the Keep on the Borderlands (converted from the old OD&D module), and we're fighting an ooze of some sort. Barbarian hits the ooze, and one of the flail balls gets dissolved. He flips the flail around, and hits it with the other ball. At the end of the combat, I ask the DM what condition my flail is in.
DM: "Oh, it's got all this slime and gunk on it."
Me: "UGH! I'VE GOT SLIME ALL OVER MY BALLS!"
(group goes nuts)
Me: "... LET ME REPHRASE THAT!"
(group goes nuts some more)
* * *
Then there was the time we were in the Arteeteetee'o'ee'ee, and we busted down a door to find a rather indignant water mephit. The mephit didn't take kindly to having a bunch of rowdy adventurers bust down its door, and spit acid in my face for 4 points of damage. My blade-dancer wannabe took great offense at this, drew her sword, and criticalled the hapless, three-foot-tall, 3HD mephit for 39 points of damage.
As I said in my writeup, "that will teach him to spit in my face."
Actually, there are too many funny things that happened in that session to relate here. Go check out that URL! It's all true, I swear.
