Funny Expressions From Your Neck of the Woods

[zepherus]

One of my favorites from my "drinking days" used to describe a hangover, but can also be used for other situations...

"I feel like I've been shot at and missed, and sh*t at and hit."

 

[Jakar]

We have "Up and down like and old maid in a cuecumber patch" here in Brisbane Australia.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

Ahh...nothing like living in the South for this sort of stuff.

My dad, who I loved and miss dearly, was a man of little patience. If I couldn't find the tool he asked me to send, he'd say, "Boy, you couldn't find your a** with a search warrant in each hand."

If we were target shooting, and I missed, he say, "Boy, you couldn't hit a bull in the a** with a bass fiddle."

I used to roady for a honky tonk band. Our soundboard died in the middle of a pretty big show. Our drummer, also the lead singer, just shook his head and said, "Well, looks like it swallered its own a**".

I notice "a**" gets a lot of use around here....

Others I remember are "Beat you like a borrowed mule", "ride you like a stolen bicycle", and if you needed to put a block behind the wheel of a vehicle, it was called "scotchin'".

 

[Maldur]

"Kei zacht"

Kei means boulder, zacht means soft.

so "Boulder soft"

Kei, is a "normal" intensifier for hard, so "kei hard" means: very hard.
For some odd reason, kei started to be used fas an "universal" intensifier, ergo "kei zacht"

 

[WayneLigon]

Huh... this one floated around my junior high school in northern california (Redding) in about 1983. Weird.

It's from your neck of the woods, eh?

I've heard a couple others mentioned here, so there must be some cross-pollination. I bet there is some 99-year-old guy's research about this kind of slang/linguistic stuffed into a folder and forgotten in a damp university sub-basement somewhere, only waiting for a group of plucky teen detectives to come searching for it.

 

[DungeonmasterCal]

I've heard a couple others mentioned here, so there must be some cross-pollination. I bet there is some 99-year-old guy's research about this kind of slang/linguistic stuffed into a folder and forgotten in a damp university sub-basement somewhere, only waiting for a group of plucky teen detectives to come searching for it.

Mt. Dew....out of nose...hurts...so..bad...

 

[Ambrus]

My dad always says "t-ts up in the rubbarb" or "les quatres fer en l'air" (four horseshoes in the air) meaning to fall flat on your back. I've never heard anyone else use those expressions but him, but I always found them amusing.

 

[Bloodstone Press]

you couldn't poor piss out of a boot with instructions written on the bottom!

Jeez oh Petes!

Dag Gaum! (I think its supposed to be pig latin for G** D***, but its not)

Crapola! (an old lady I once knew said this a lot)

Jesus on a pogo stick!

 

[der_kluge]

Some of these I've heard growing up in Arkansas.

Colder than a witch's .
Slicker than owl sh*t.
That's like trying to shove a wet noodle up a wildcat's ass (something difficult).
She looks like she's been rode hard and put up wet (describing an ugly woman).
One foot in the grave, and the other on a banana peel (describing a really old person).
They're so poor they don't have a pot to p*ss in, or a window to throw it out of.

I'll have to ask my Dad. He has a lot of these.

 

[HellHound]

Any number of variations of crap... craptactular, craptastic...

I used to work in a workplace where most of the employees are French, and most of management is English. So we hear some interesting English and some really mangled French. When things don't work at the mill, they are "F*ckitated" and then you fix it so it becomes "Fixitated"

I'm not much of an 'on-a-stick' person, but one of my close friends owns an on-a-stick domain (I can't remember which one at this point, but it's not onastick.com).

Hotdogs are called Steamies around here (well, if they are steamed, which is at every hot dog place for miles around).

For really bright people, we have "He's about as sharp as a sack of wet rats"

We also used to hear a lot of "That's more -BLANK- than a bag full of really -BLANK- things", such as "That's more fun than a bag full of really fun things!" or "That's dumber than a bag full of really dumb things" and so on.