Yes, indeed, I think you've hit it on the head. What you state here is the universal stumbling block towards creating a Dungeons & Dragons game that works for everyone (or almost everyone). Because every single person has a different idea of what parts of realism (or what one might also call 'real-world science') are necessary to have in the game world that allows one to not only suspend disbelief, but also remain true to the genre tropes that D&D is trying to get across. All the while also trying to be a fun "game" that one plays.And a lot of people asking, "Why? We have lightning bolts and flying dragons. Why the arbitrary rules for realism here but not there?"
The "fool's folly" (as you put it) is in anyone thinking or believing that there's a singular system of "realism" in the Dungeons & Dragons game that can be designed which almost every single player will be happy or agree with. One that can be printed and published that will make every person happy with the result. But we all know (or should know) there isn't. So what I think really needs to happen is for every person to actually realize and accept that any one specific game (D&D or otherwise) is not necessarily the game that will give that to us and that we just might need to change which games we play to get closer to the ones that will (assuming that need for "realism" in whatever form one needs is really that important.)
But for every game that one changes to, that potentially shrinks the pool of players one has to play with. Smaller player pool, smaller number of options. And which is why so many people cling to Dungeons & Dragons even though it's not really giving them what they want, just because there are so many more options available. And sometimes expediency ends up being more important than precision.