A small, cute creature which will cut your throat open in the night.
A tougher ferret which won't wait for the night.
"I'm rearranging his organs in alphabetical order"
There's one I use with my wookie in a SW game. I've got about the highest Strength score conceivable in that game (18 base, wookie, rage, maxed enhance ability, totals up to something like 30). Everyone else in the galaxy, naturally, tends to have Strength 10 or so and use guns.
So, as the NPC attempts to get away from melee so that he can shoot with his gun, I'll just grin and make a motion with my arms as if effortlessly picking up something large and holding it close. That means "attack of opportunity; I grapple him".
This is used to represent someone high tailing it away. A player commented on how although there are jump and swim checks, there wasn't a check that best represented his current stratagy. And the phrase was born.
Used when the DM begins describing a suspicious room. (I love being the DM...)
"I don't wiggle, I just bleed."
This originated when, as DM, I called for a player's actions when he was in negative hit points. It's used whenever someone is laying on the ground, bleeding, which has a tendancy to come up a surpizing amount.
All of these are great. I don't think my group has nearly the quality of some of these. But I'll give it a shot:
Our more arrogant players will roll a 19, or 20 and instead of saying natural 19 or 20 they say "19 naturally" in a cocky voice.
When they do score a critical hit we use the optional damage table, like "throat cut" or "arm broken" and as the DM rolls the mantra "come on something good" is shouted usually.
I have a ranger named Lysander, well he is 10th level and his mainstay is killing giants. the DM put us in the First Giants module and being in character Lysander attacked every giant. needless to say he died several times (this was second edition before I crossed him over, he had a CON of 16 or 17...when the module was done it was 12). So, when it was his turn he was often reffered to as Dead Guy or mostly dead guy. Or Ly-dead-er.
There has been on occassion, farting to enhance spell casting (that is to say the player farts as they tell us what spell they are casting. works best with fireball), but invariably leads to stinking cloud jokes.
One player hates when the bad guy gets away or some NPC that really hassled them, so when this happens, he shakes his head and says, "their on the list." (And he does have a list).
As a DM, my players will often finish my statement of how a night without encounters, so I must use this often, "And the night passed uneventfully, as it were."
I'm sure i am missing some. But I hope those are fun for you all.
The player of a paladin used this catchphrase whenever combat became the only option available. The DM hated it & docked the player of XP whenever he uttered it - which led to the following:
"The flag is up!"
Out of combat, the party used a single figure as the party marker. The player of the paladin rigged a flag into the hands of the party marker, with the flag down out of combat. But when the party entered combat he would raise the flag, instead of using the banned phrase "It's go time!" When a character needed an excuse for doing something violent, he would always note that "the flag is up..."
"He Charlies it."
One of our players doesn't like to count squares during combat movement & randomly bounces his miniature around until he drops it in the square he likes. Now whenever anyone moves a miniature without counting squares we refer to it by his name.
"I've seen it all before & I've seen better."
This was my tagline for a know-it-all character I played way back when. I still pull it out on occasion when a DM has an NPC or monster do something really over the top in an attempt to impress the players. Said with the proper tone of weary condescension, it is guaranteed to elicit a vengeful response from the DM.
"Right hand rule"
Whenever we are mapping a dungeon we always take the right hand turn at an intersection, ascribing this to a rule we were taught in Adventurer's School.
"Left hand rule for Drow"
The converse of this is that if we suspect that drow are behind the plot, we use the left hand rule because (as my backwoods drow-hunting ranger character Buckeye used to drawl) "Them drow sure are tricksy!"
"Fireball Friend or Foe"
This is what one player is certain that Fireball should actually be named, given the tendency of party arcanists to be willing to risk some collateral damage to the party in their zeal to nuke our opponents.
"Shield Inviso Fly"
This is the stereotype by the party fighters of the standard defensive tactics of arcanists at the beginning of combat. This is derived from an incident where the party was climbing a cliff & the party was attacked by perytons. While the party struggled strenuously to survive, the party wizard spent the first 3 rounds casting defensive spells on himself. By the time he was ready to help the party, the battle was over with the party licking its wounds & wishing that the mage had been a wee bit more of a help...
"I VE him."
This is actually from Champions, although it crops up in other games occasionally. In Champions, a character that was knocked unconscious could revive during combat unless he was at -30 STUN. Since we didn't want villains that we had knocked unconscious to get back up again, it became standard practice to hit them again once they were down. (While this was not exactly heroic behavior, it was quite effective... ) At first, we referred to this as "knocking him into next week", but then one player said: "I'm going to hit him so hard he won't wake up until the Vernal Equinox!" Eventually this got condensed to the above.
"A tree falls on the ___" or "At least a tree didn't fall on the ___"
Once, our DM was trying to include more non-combat encounters. So he rolled a random encounter and decided that a tree had fallen across the path. Later, when we reached the town and ran into other problems trying to get passage on a ship, one of the players quiped, "At least a tree didn't fall on the docks." "A tree falls on the ___" is also used during boring activities.
"I slash with a slash-like slashinism."
One of the players actually used that to describe his attack, and we thought it was funny.
"You guys NEVER ROLEPLAY!"
Used for stupid arguements. At the beginning of one of our campaigns, several of the PCs were slaves. They escaped, then hid in a nearby forest and discussed what they should do next. The DM got mad that they were talking for a long time, so he said the slave drivers found them and attacked. When the players protested, he took all of his stuff and stormed out, yelling "You guys NEVER ROLEPLAY!" (Interesting that he says this after a big IC discussion, huh?) What's worse, he had to come back in because his car was blocked in the driveway. One of the other players took up being DM after that and we continued the campaign.
"Nothing uneventful happens."
The DM apparently wasn't sure whether to say "Nothing eventful happens," or "The night is uneventful." He mixed them together.
The same DM meant to say the idiomatic phrase "Cool beans." Somehow, he got mixed up and said "Cool nuts." (Probably because some of us were eating walnuts.)
He said this instead of "perpetrator."
"The choice of NASCAR"
This was on a box of candy we bought for the game one time, and we thought it was funny. "This adventure is the choice of NASCAR!"
I used this phrase once in an old D&D game I was running, and it stuck. Now, everywhere is always down the hall and to the left.
A friend & fellow gamer once brought a cheese log to the game, just something that he could snack on. My paladin had just gotten the crap kicked out of him by a Storm Giant, so he picks up the cutting block w/ the log on it and goes, "Man, that was harsh. Cheese log?" So now, whenever any character gets royally screwed over, be it in combat or a social situation, we hold our hands out to him and offer him a piece of the cheese log.
"Monkey de Fromage"
Spoken whenever someone pulls off an especially cheesy combination of manevuers, spells, abilities or feats.
"I go before everybody... I drool on the floor."
Whenever someone gets knocked into the Dying HP range, someone always shouts this when the initiative order recycles.
"It's the Devil, burn it!"
Spoken with a thick southern accent. Used whenever a PC comes across a device or object that they have no idea what it does. A friend of mine uses this phrase all the time when dealing with machinery of any kind (he's not the most mechanically adept of people).
"Does he have a mohawk?"
A while ago, I stated that I would never have an important NPC with a mohawk. My players ask me this whenever they meet an NPC that has more than 2 lines.
"Slit the throats and loot the bodies!"
Kinda self-explanatory, and always said by one of my players.
"Ah! My spleen!" and "Ah! My squeedelyspooch!"
Critical hits always seem to hit those two organs.
"But I was just drinking Pepsi!"
When I was just starting a high-level OA game, the party met Hiruma Tetsuo, a powerful samurai NPC. When he introduced himself as a member of the Crab clan, one of my players started snickering. As he had made no attempts to do this OOC, Hiruma drew his wazakashi and rolled a natural 20. With a vorpal weapon. The player's excuse was "But I was just drinking Pepsi!", which is now what everyone says once they've done something stupid in character when they meant to do it out of character.
Often the result of a spectacular attack.
"He deserves a star". Started by my sister. One session she decided to bring along a book of little gold star stickers that she had picked up somewhere. Anyhow one of our players did something truely abysably stupid that very night and she turned to him and with a perfectly streight face said "Dwight, you deserve a star for that one" and proceeded to give him a star which he stuck to his character sheet. Obviously this one gets used whenever someone does or says something stupid. Some of our character sheets have reasonable collections of stars actually.
"Jimdizzy Jimdizzy Jimdizzy!" Started by me. One of my characters had a pair of wings of flying the command word for which just happened to be Jimdizzy. Anyhow I ended up in a full out retreat with like 10 HP running away from an Ogre with something like 6 or 7 class levels. I also happened to be a halfling in field plate so my running speed was not exactly marathon like. I took a flying leap off the edge of a cliff and proceeded to scream the command words as I fell towards the ground. Now anytime someone is backed into a corner and has no idea how to get their ass out they shout that as they try and pull a hail mary to save themselves.
Oh, I remembered another good one
"I hit the dwelf". One of the characters in my group is a dwarf with a bit of a personality disorder that has him convinced he's an elf. He got on our nerves all the time and we sort of turned him into a group punching bag. Any time we get frustrated with a situation we generally just blurt out "I hit the dwelf".
A player who forgot the actual name for mindflayers when he was scouting a head. He spots the mindflayers and runs screaming back to the party yelling "Sheitbugs!!!". Of course we always call them that nowadays.
We go EEEAST!
spoken with zombie faces. said when the players are jokingly saying they want a random encounter, and don't want to think about what they're doing.
well, and there was that game with the level 15 kobolds that was nothing but them heading east, east on their way to elminster's house. yep.
uhh... Reinforcements arrive!
spoken of in reference to an old DM who would always have more adversaries show up when his monsters weren't killing enough party members. said jokingly when a combat ends after the party mopped up, or sadly when reinforcements actually DO arrive. "guys, i'm sorry, but reinforcements really do arrive."
yeah. thanks max.
same dm as above liked to play favorites a lot, and kill a certain player off routinely. so whenever people joke about killing off one of his characters, it's yeah. thanks max.
Roll to loot!
Yes, when a combat ended, people would scream roll to loot! The fun part was also how quickly people scrambled for die in order to roll to loot...
yeah, I'm just gonna make a Knowledge: WTF real quick
spoken whenever a dm would describe some off-the-wall situation that didn't make any sense, be it in or out of game.