"Gaming Divorce"

[Nightchilde-2]

For me, surprisingly, it was removing myself from a game. Granted, I try as hard as I can to NOT have to boot people out of my game, but if someone's just a fool (such as, oh, thinks they have Brandon Lee's soul in a crystal or makes constant unwarranted personal attacks at the other players, for instance..both true stories) I'll snip that gamer-string in a moment.

However, I had to think long and hard before deciding to pull out of the last group I pulled out from. Partly because I was the DM, but mainly because I really liked the group. Well, most of 'em anyway. One player made it absolutely un-fun to be there, so I pulled out.

 

[diaglo]

life's too short to play crappy RPGs.

i've left several groups in recent years. no regrets.

although, when groups die for no in game reason it is sad. like deaths, moving, and job schedule shifts.

 

[Piratecat]

6 years!!!

Was he a whack-job the whole time, or did he just go off the deep-end before you showed him the door?

The breakdown in behavior got steadily worse over two years. Certain members of the group (namely Sialia, Bandeeto and Sito Rotavele) had characters who tended to keep him well in check. When those players moved to the left coast, he was left without any really lawful PCs to push against, and he just kind of self-destructed. Very frustrating -- I liked the guy personally and he was a good friend, but gaming with him just wasn't worth the drama.

 

[Narfellus]

i've never exactly booted players, but i wanted to. One guy wanted us to pick him up every time we played, adding like an hour and a half of driving time for a total stranger. We didn't ask him back. ive seen real problems with marriage dynamics in my groups though, with wives trying to control/manipulate their mate in-game. "No! You can't do that. I don't approve of the actions your imaginary character is making." OOh. That was infuriating...

 

[painandgreed]

Kicking people out of a group is harder. usually, when I've seen it the feeling has been mutual. in the other cases, the peopel playing are friends and put up with any foibles. Beyond that, no single campaing is really so important that it can't be disbanded and then start a new one without the problem person with soem excuse like "too many players already'.

I've left many and only look back on one.there are lots of thigns and styles I just don't enjoy playing with. The DM that played Dragonlance and followed everything to a script till I didn't think I had any control over my character. That's probably where my hatred of Dragonlance started (and was later nurtured by every kinder playing player I've ever met). The one time I miht be said to have regretted it was with probably the best Dm I've ever played under. Unfortunatly, he enjoyed running low leve campaigns and everytime we'd hit about 8th level, he'd reboot the entire campaign and make us roll up new 1st levels. the third time he asked us to do this, i essentially decided it wasn't worth my time to play a bunch of half finished games.

 

[Evilhalfling]

Definately booting a player,
but either is hard if you have been friends for a long time.
I had one group that split over personality/roommate conflicts and I tried running both groups separetly for a while. One game with two old friends dissolved over lack of commitment and both have since given up table top gaming, and I no longer speak to one of the two guys. Over his depression and bad marriage more than gaming woes.

The other half of the group prospered, adding new players and trying different people and systems.

When I moved to a new city I tried several groups, and had no problem dropping out after 1-2 sessions, mostly I lied pleading other constraints, or just not giving a reason for not coming back.

The first group I clicked with was put togeather by a man with a few social problems, and when one of the players I really liked said he was dropping out due to the first guy, I offered to boot him instead. The others agreed with me, and it was really hard to tell the man who had brought us togeather that he was no longer welome at our table.

We haven't regretted it. I agree with the others, life is to short to play bad games.

 

[JesterPoet]

I've never booted someone from a game. I have, however, not invited a regular gaming friend to a game and not told him about it. He found out and was very upset, and won't spend time with me anymore to this day.

We didn't invite him because he likes to create unmotivated, hard-to-motivate anti-heroes, and it makes for rough gaming. When I GM, I don't care, as I'm used to handling it... but the GM for this particular game was my girlfriend at the time (now, my wonderful wife) who was running her first game ever, and was really nervous about it.

He's the kind of guy who gets upset at the drop of a hat, so part of me knows that he would have acted this way if I hadn't been subversive about it and had simply restricted his character to one that would go along with things, so either way I was screwed... but for a long time I couldn't help feeling bad about it.

However, it's now been years and he still acts this way. I refuse to apologize anymore and just ignore it. I made a mistake, but I apologized profusely. If he can't accept that, it's his problem. He's the one who doesn't game anymore because of it.

As for quitting games, that can be hard or not depending on the group. One group I left currently (who still thinks I'm on hiatus) was hard to leave, but I just didn't have enough time, and if any group had to go, it was them. But it was difficult to leave, especially considering that a week prior to my no longer attending, they had suggested switching my Cthulhu game to something else because they weren't really into it. It was hard to quit outright at that point, as I didn't want them to think they had offended me (which they hadn't... Cthulhu isn't for everyone, and they really like happy, high-powered games like Nobilis and Changeling), but I really wanted and needed to quit.

Also, one of the guys in the group doesn't shower or wear deodorant much anymore because his hippy girlfriend has convinced him not to... that also acted as a catalyst to my leaving the group. He smelled really bad, and the odor would linger sometimes.

So, there you have it.

 

[Sebastian Francis]

life's too short to play crappy RPGs.

OD&D is the only real rpg. crappy rpgs are pale imitations of the real thing.

 

[DrNilesCrane]

Which is harder (logistically, emotionally, whatever you define as the most important):
Dropping a Player from your game.
Withdrawing from a game yourself.
Have you ever regretted the action?
Have you ever reversed the action?
Quasqueton

Dropping a player is definitely harder and as DM, I've had to do so on a couple of occasions when players didn't work out with the group...never a fun experience, but as it's been said, life's too short to waste on bad games or situations with players that detract from the enjoyment of the game. I've never regretted the action: it's clear when someone's not working out, although sometimes it's more of a chemistry with the group issue than having a "bad" player at the table. I extensively interview potential new players to try to get solid matches with our group, although sometimes the dynamics just don't work or player's tastes change over time.

I haven't had much luck with finding gaming groups and routinely dropped out after an adventure...usually it doesn't take that long to get the feel of the game and if the DM is prepared, the player's get into character, etc. - stuff I feel is important for my gaming experience.

 

[Halivar]

life's too short to play crappy RPGs.

Heresy! Next you'll be suggesting I start bathing and getting a girlfriend. Utter nonsense!

I got my elven princess cohort, and that's all I need, see? Yes, my precious...

On-Topic: It's hardest when it's a roommate, and your apartment is where you game. It definitely makes things awkward.