Argent Silvermage
First Post
How about something on the east coast?
Gay men or women who play D&D
- Thread starter BeholderBurger
- Start date
Desdichado
Hero
I've got two comments:
1) My own issue, as much as it applies to the question at hand (if at all) doesn't have any bearing on gaming; I'm reluctant to volunteer information on my religion in any situation unless asked directly, due to quite probably subconscious and unreasoning fears of "standing out" too much.
2) I guess I'm not sure what being gay and being gamers really has in common, so I'm not really sure what the raison d'etre for a gaymer mailing list is. Is it to develop a community of like-minded individuals, or is there more to it? I've never been on the lookout for a Mormon online gaming community or anything like that, for instance.
1) My own issue, as much as it applies to the question at hand (if at all) doesn't have any bearing on gaming; I'm reluctant to volunteer information on my religion in any situation unless asked directly, due to quite probably subconscious and unreasoning fears of "standing out" too much.
2) I guess I'm not sure what being gay and being gamers really has in common, so I'm not really sure what the raison d'etre for a gaymer mailing list is. Is it to develop a community of like-minded individuals, or is there more to it? I've never been on the lookout for a Mormon online gaming community or anything like that, for instance.
Argent Silvermage
First Post
Hi Joshua,
This is not a flame so please don't be offended by what I'm going to say.
Please keep religion out of this thread. The thread is for gay men and women to connect. Please don't turn it into anything other than it is.
Argent.
This is not a flame so please don't be offended by what I'm going to say.
Please keep religion out of this thread. The thread is for gay men and women to connect. Please don't turn it into anything other than it is.
Argent.
Angelsboi
First Post
Joshua - Its hard for gay people to be accepted. We hear of Gay bashing but i dont recall a baptist or mormon bashing.
Also, some DMs have issues with men playing female characters and visa versa. I have always pretty much played a female character or a gay male character. Some Dms have issues with this.
If you have a group of gay gamers (like i play in on Saturdays) its far more comfy to say you and so and so go shack up and not get weird looks.
Also, some DMs have issues with men playing female characters and visa versa. I have always pretty much played a female character or a gay male character. Some Dms have issues with this.
If you have a group of gay gamers (like i play in on Saturdays) its far more comfy to say you and so and so go shack up and not get weird looks.
lord irial
First Post
I'm not sure what the experiences of others might be, but for myself, I know that finding gay men and women who game has been a rare experience. Partly because I don't live in a big city, partly because most gays don't throw their time and imagination into gaming (or even sci-fi or fantasy fandom, for that matter). Having a mailing list does make it a lot easier to network with other gay gamers- whether to simply exchange stories and ideas, as a support for those who are having troubles with their orientation vis a vis their gaming group, or even as an opportunity to meet someone special.Joshua Dyal said:
While I don't yet belong to the gaymer list on Yahoo (I'll join tonight- my work filters Yahoo out); I do belong to the GamerBear mailing list, and in fact, that was one of the places I met my longtime bf.
Actually, I would say that JD's comments as a Mormon gamer not disruptive to the thread. I have heard a lot of philosophical if not physical Mormon bashing, so there is some common ground. There was no judgment involved in what JD said, you know.
As to what the connection is between finding a group of gay gamers, it's like Angelsboi said. Sometimes it's just nice to not have to worry about making someone uncomfortable.
As to what the connection is between finding a group of gay gamers, it's like Angelsboi said. Sometimes it's just nice to not have to worry about making someone uncomfortable.
barsoomcore
Unattainable Ideal
Just throwing this out there for something to talk about (and if I'm just getting in the way of people connecting, fair enough) -- in my campaign, and I think in every campaign I've ever run, the sexuality of the CHARACTERS was far more important than the sexuality of the PLAYERS.
That is, nobody really cares if whatshername's bi, or whosit's gay or whatever. But is Madame Ganik actually a transexual? Well, now, THAT MATTERS!
Or not, but presumably if it came up in the game it matters.
I have never played a Mormon character.
That is, nobody really cares if whatshername's bi, or whosit's gay or whatever. But is Madame Ganik actually a transexual? Well, now, THAT MATTERS!
Or not, but presumably if it came up in the game it matters.
I have never played a Mormon character.
Greppa of Tartwater
First Post
Steps Forward
Gay here too, but I don't think it's a secret to anyone following the story hour I'm co-starring in. *PLUG Light Against the Dark*
Although I think seasong has already posted about our group in Austin. We're not conventional at all. Everyone is gay or bi except for one lone straight boy...but he's curious, so I guess we're all in the same bucket.
Gay here too, but I don't think it's a secret to anyone following the story hour I'm co-starring in. *PLUG Light Against the Dark*
Although I think seasong has already posted about our group in Austin. We're not conventional at all. Everyone is gay or bi except for one lone straight boy...but he's curious, so I guess we're all in the same bucket.
I agree. I think that Joshua's comments serve as an interesting parallel and could very well be an attempt on his part to understand the reason for our concerns.
As for the listserve and other organizations, there are a number of reasons why these things are around. As an African American man, I've been a part of quite a few Black organizations because this country is dominated by White Americans. We are able to discuss matters and concerns that are unique to and largely affect Black professionals. The same would go for homosexuals, particularly in this industry.
Having a listserve or a place to meet could cover a variety of concerns. It would give those interested in joining an outlet to discuss matters that are specific or more likely to concern and/or interest gay rpgers. How to deal with perceptions of homophobia or heterosexism; how to focus role-playing sexuality if that's your thing; how to find fantasy/sci-fi material (integral to D&D) that features homosexual characters. Let's face it; even in the most shallow games, sexuality is going to be an issue. In the vast majority of cases (and I have no problem with this as it makes sense), sexuality will be hetero. But, on occassion, a DM may want to through in something bi or homosexual and it could become an issue. In one game I played, a cleric our party was dealing with always opened the door to his home covered in a robe and nothing else. There was always a woman in the house with him. We knew what was going on, but the characters, focused on other matters, sort of chuckled and let it go. Such encounters, although not integral to the story, reminded that there is a degree of versimilitude in many D&D games. What would have happened, though, if every time the characters went to the house, the cleric was holed up with a guy? I don't think most people would have simply chuckled at it; in fact, I think many reactions (and not necessarily those of my gaming group) would have been poor. A DM concerned about broadening sexuality in his/her game could find an outlet like the one we're discussing very helpful.
On the other hand, it could serve as a vehicle to meet people you wouldn't otherwise expect to meet. To date, I've yet to meet another gaymer. It would be interesting for me to do so for a variety of reasons and one would be for the potential for romance. Even in the larger gay community, role-playing of this sort is sort of looked down upon (yes, even for drag-queens... an irony, I think). The last guy I dated (and still talk to) has absolutely no understanding of my peculiar interest in this stuff and it makes it difficult to have a common ground between the two of us (fantasy and all peripheral elements are important to me). And, even platonic relationships would be nice. It's kind of hard to discuss gay issues with many straight people, even open-minded folks, because you either run into a degree of discomfort or else you become the poster-boy or girl for gay issues (I already spend enough time being the Black guy as it is).
Those are just some of the concerns such a listserv/group would serve.
Appreciate your questions, Joshua.
As for the listserve and other organizations, there are a number of reasons why these things are around. As an African American man, I've been a part of quite a few Black organizations because this country is dominated by White Americans. We are able to discuss matters and concerns that are unique to and largely affect Black professionals. The same would go for homosexuals, particularly in this industry.
Having a listserve or a place to meet could cover a variety of concerns. It would give those interested in joining an outlet to discuss matters that are specific or more likely to concern and/or interest gay rpgers. How to deal with perceptions of homophobia or heterosexism; how to focus role-playing sexuality if that's your thing; how to find fantasy/sci-fi material (integral to D&D) that features homosexual characters. Let's face it; even in the most shallow games, sexuality is going to be an issue. In the vast majority of cases (and I have no problem with this as it makes sense), sexuality will be hetero. But, on occassion, a DM may want to through in something bi or homosexual and it could become an issue. In one game I played, a cleric our party was dealing with always opened the door to his home covered in a robe and nothing else. There was always a woman in the house with him. We knew what was going on, but the characters, focused on other matters, sort of chuckled and let it go. Such encounters, although not integral to the story, reminded that there is a degree of versimilitude in many D&D games. What would have happened, though, if every time the characters went to the house, the cleric was holed up with a guy? I don't think most people would have simply chuckled at it; in fact, I think many reactions (and not necessarily those of my gaming group) would have been poor. A DM concerned about broadening sexuality in his/her game could find an outlet like the one we're discussing very helpful.
On the other hand, it could serve as a vehicle to meet people you wouldn't otherwise expect to meet. To date, I've yet to meet another gaymer. It would be interesting for me to do so for a variety of reasons and one would be for the potential for romance. Even in the larger gay community, role-playing of this sort is sort of looked down upon (yes, even for drag-queens... an irony, I think). The last guy I dated (and still talk to) has absolutely no understanding of my peculiar interest in this stuff and it makes it difficult to have a common ground between the two of us (fantasy and all peripheral elements are important to me). And, even platonic relationships would be nice. It's kind of hard to discuss gay issues with many straight people, even open-minded folks, because you either run into a degree of discomfort or else you become the poster-boy or girl for gay issues (I already spend enough time being the Black guy as it is).
Those are just some of the concerns such a listserv/group would serve.
Appreciate your questions, Joshua.
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