Gay men or women who play D&D

[ColonelHardisson]

Joshua - Its hard for gay people to be accepted. We hear of Gay bashing but i dont recall a baptist or mormon bashing.

I hate to do this, but I wanted to point out that this is not really true. I've run across people who still refer to the Book of Mormon as "the Devil's Book." That's just one example. The point is, without shading into the religious side of it, if one looks closely, one will find that "bashing" of all kinds occurs against just about any group, which makes it important to try to be aware of it beyond one's own particular interest group. Being aware of such things can help all of us find something in common, if you follow my reasoning. Sorry for the hijack.

 

[Remathilis]

My DM is gay, and his boyfriend plays also.

Never bothered us, even when their PC's were gay.

What bothered us was the sheer number of gay NPC's in his world. Whats a straight PC to do?

 

[The Serge]

My DM is gay, and his boyfriend plays also.

Never bothered us, even when their PC's were gay.

What bothered us was the sheer number of gay NPC's in his world. Whats a straight PC to do?

Frankly, this would be a problem for me as well unless there was a decent (and creative) reason for it.

 

[Desdichado]

Quite right! While I'm not gay, I'm trying to reach out and be empathetic by comparing the circumstances to the closest parallel from my own life that I can think of. And by asking the question, I'm not denigrating the purpose of the gaymer list, I'm trying to understand exactly the role it fulfills. I ask if it is to connect people who intersect both the gamer and the gay community without trying to imply that that purpose isn't "good enough."

And Dinkeldog, you're quite right -- physical harassment of Mormons hasn't happened to my knowledge in this country to any real degree for 100-150 years, although we do have a long collective memory of it. However, my whole life I've been seen as kinda weird, and I've had some bad experiences with people who had been grossly ill-informed about what it means to be Mormon. I've seen anti-Mormon literature, and several of the local churches where I grew up even had regular (up to twice a year!) showings of anti-Mormon videos and anti-Mormon guest speakers. For a long time, a lot of the people I talked to about Mormons seemed to feel that we were some kind of dangerous cult. While it is satisfying to see those prejudices unravel by not living up to their preconceived notions, in general, I prefer to avoid placing myself in potentially uncomfortable situations.

So, although I'm not trying to say that it's the same as being gay in America, I do believe that there are at least some parallels, and that to some extent I've at least occasionally had similar experiences in relationship to the original question, especially having grown up in the South.

I'm not ashamed of being Mormon; quite the opposite in fact, and I'd gladly discuss it at length with anyone who asks, but I prefer to avoid uncomfortable situations, and find that wearing my Mormonism on my sleeve, or walking around announcing my religious preferences everytime I meet someone to be insensitive and confrontational, so I tend to keep it to myself unless asked. This translates somewhat into being reticent to even mention it, at times.

So, Argent, sorry to take the thread on a bit of a tangent, but it seems to have sorta run it's course -- it's a slow thread lately, and I think my experience is similar enough that it belongs in the same discussion, at least.

 

[Samnell]

And Dinkeldog, you're quite right -- physical harassment of Mormons hasn't happened to my knowledge in this country to any real degree for 100-150 years, although we do have a long collective memory of it. However, my whole life I've been seen as kinda weird, and I've had some bad experiences with people who had been grossly ill-informed about what it means to be Mormon. I've seen anti-Mormon literature, and several of the local churches where I grew up even had regular (up to twice a year!) showings of anti-Mormon videos and anti-Mormon guest speakers. For a long time, a lot of the people I talked to about Mormons seemed to feel that we were some kind of dangerous cult. While it is satisfying to see those prejudices unravel by not living up to their preconceived notions, in general, I prefer to avoid placing myself in potentially uncomfortable situations.

If you replace the word "Mormon" with "gay" and remove the references to physical harrassment being confined to the past and you've basically got the situation with being gay in smalltown America.

So, although I'm not trying to say that it's the same as being gay in America, I do believe that there are at least some parallels, and that to some extent I've at least occasionally had similar experiences in relationship to the original question, especially having grown up in the South.

It sounds like that's the case. I expect members of other minorities would have virtually identical experiences.

 

[Desdichado]

But there are, at least, two areas in which being Mormon is easier than being gay, I suspect. Many Mormons have their family, which is not only supportive, but actively doing the same thing. In my case, my entire extended family are active, practicing members of the Mormon church, as is my wife's family.

And, we have a built in community almost everywhere we go. All I have to do is actually go to church, and we've got a bunch of people that are part of the same thing.

Both of those, while not true for every Mormon, are true for most, and neither of those are probably common amongst gay people.

But, yeah, there's some bad stuff too. A pretty good friend of mine, for instance (actually, now he's sorta family, since he married my wife's cousin) was essentially disowned from his family when he joined the church, and cut off from his financial support (he was in college at the time, so it was quite a blow.) Without thinking too hard about it, I can think of about half a dozen folks I know who had exactly the same thing happen to them. I also remember at least twice as a kid having friends that couldn't come over to my house to play because their parents woudln't let them. So I think the situation at least has some parallels.

Anyway, sorry for the tangent, I'm not trying to get sympathy or anything like that, just trying to understand.

 

[Samnell]

But there are, at least, two areas in which being Mormon is easier than being gay, I suspect.

I read this and my first thought was "Utah".

Many Mormons have their family, which is not only supportive, but actively doing the same thing.

That's true. That's something many of us (myself included) can't claim. I talked to my mother once about coming out to my grandfather. I said I didn't think it would really make any difference because we'd been quite close. She looked at me like I just said she had another head growing out of her butt.

And, we have a built in community almost everywhere we go.

True, we don't exactly have gay community centers in every town. We do have lists like gaymers, though.

But, yeah, there's some bad stuff too. A pretty good friend of mine, for instance (actually, now he's sorta family, since he married my wife's cousin) was essentially disowned from his family when he joined the church, and cut off from his financial support (he was in college at the time, so it was quite a blow.) Without thinking too hard about it, I can think of about half a dozen folks I know who had exactly the same thing happen to them. I also remember at least twice as a kid having friends that couldn't come over to my house to play because their parents woudln't let them. So I think the situation at least has some parallels.

Those are definitely parallel.

 

[Argent Silvermage]

I hope I didn't ruffle any feathers. I just didn't want the thread to get into a religious debate. I can sympithise with Joshua's situation.

 

[Desdichado]

I hope I didn't ruffle any feathers. I just didn't want the thread to get into a religious debate. I can sympithise with Joshua's situation.

No prob, I wasn't trying to direct it into a religious discussion per se, so what you said was probably worth saying. And like I said, I'm not trying to garner "symapthy for my plight" or anything; I'm really alright! Rather, I'm trying to empathize with your situation, if that makes any sense.

 

[Argent Silvermage]

Actually that makes you a better man than many I have met.