Cheiromancer said:
How about simply "She gains the ability to prepare and cast one first-level spell from the cleric list."
Later on you can write "This path may be taken up to 9 times, each time granting a spell one level higher." This avoids a vague referent and simplifies the wording.
You have to adjust the wording of the Domain Mystic Power. If the mystic is on the priest path she automatically can cast spells, and does not need to take the magical talent mystic power. In fact, magical talent is no longer on the mystic powers list. Instead of
say that "The domain spells can be selected as if they were on the cleric list."
Your suggestions would change what the abilities were intended to do (slightly), but I like the clearer new wording enough to change the mechanics behind them. This is a slight power-up, but I think the class probably needs it.
Cheiromancer said:
And I notice that a fighter5/mystic 5 can cast a 5th level spell if she devotes all her mystic power slots to the task. Is this intentional?
Yes, it's intentional. It provides a way for spellcasters to multiclass if they desire, though at a pretty hefty cost (all mystic powers go toward spell slots).
Cheiromancer said:
I like your compromise on multiclassing. It retains the flavor of monkly discipline, but allows exceptions. I like the improvement to abundant step. Camaraderie is also a nice boost to the empath path. Lawgiver is a good continuance to the lawful ki strike ability. Skill mastery is a good idea, too, since mystics will often have skills they need to be able to use reliably.
I made multiclassing possible since there are reasons mystics should have other classes, even with the broadening of the class. I did want to make it hard, though, so I made it a path (with another ability).
Similarly, I wanted to keep to the flavor of lawful-only without actually requiring it, so I made several abilities require a lawful alignment. Ethically neutral mystics just get to choose other abilities.
Rogue abilities like skill mastery are worth more than a feat in general, and since this was just a low-level mystic power I opted to make it one skill only.
The only thing I don't like about Camaraderie is saying "empath path". I couldn't find a good way around it.
Cheiromancer said:
I am not sure about Focused Mind, though. On the one hand, it is very powerful, more powerful IMHO than Slippery Mind. On the other hand, it works only once per day, and can be triggered (and wasted) by a trivial spell or effect. I think it is simultaneously too strong and too weak, and so I would recommend replacing it with Slippery Mind. If you adjust it so that the mystic can use it in response to a strong attack (before rolling, but after learning what the target DC is), then you could keep it in a weaker form. (Make the bonus equal to the class level, say.)
I think that the particulars of the ability make it very flavorful and appropriate. The intent is to make the monk concentrate for a moment before having the door kicked in. It's not always a good thing -- you need to resist the first Will-requiring effect, so even a
cure light wounds would trigger this.
Slippery mind is a great ability, but it just doesn't seem to fit flavorwise. It seems much more appropriate for the rogue.
I'll give this some thought.
Cheiromancer said:
And I think you should just make diamond soul the 12th level ability. It fits well with still mind/purity of body/timeless body, is about the right power level for a 12th level ability (it comes at 13th level for a standard monk), and is something that, for all we know, Li Mu Bai and Pai Mei both had. If people want more paths, they can take one at any level.
I have a personal vendetta against SR*, so diamond soul will never be an automatic ability in my mystic class. I agree that it's a fair fit in general, although I can't speak to your references -- I saw KB2 once (not a fan) and never even saw Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
* As a DM, I change monsters' feats to include GSP if they're casters, even though I know the PCs don't have SR. As a player, whenever I take casters I take GSP by third level at the latest, with only rare exceptions -- and even then I end up taking it eventually. I don't like the mechanic and I hate to lose a spell to SR in a way that losing them to saves doesn't provoke.
Cheiromancer said:
Got to go... I think this is everything, but I might comment more later.
I really appreciate your comments; you have some great ideas.