Great DM, crappy friend vs. good friend, crappy DM

[Aberzanzorax]

What about "one offs" and rotating DMing?

Instead of Ted getting the sole responsibility, why not have the whole group (but not you since you do the other campaign) rotate as one shot dms.

Have each person work up a theme (e.g. zombiepocalypse, wu shu/kung fu, outer space, players play monsters etc) and run a one shot game.

DMing for the first time is intimidating, and the best advice I've seen is "you're GOING to suck...but then you'll get better".

So I would bet that if you rotated, it would:
1. Take the pressure of campaign building/hard work away.
2. Allow for people to suck without the fear of getting "fired" as DM.
3. Allow you to perhaps help people dm (make someone else responsible for the main components, but you can be an advisor/co-dm the first or second time they give DMing a shot).
4. Take the responsibility of dming away from just one person
5. Make it so that each new DM had much more time to prep (as on a rotating schedule they'd only be dming every few weeks or so).
6. Perhaps, and only perhaps, result in someone figuring out they really like/want to dm.


Get them excited by having a brainstorm session as a group about what people like and what they want to play (if someone loves the old west, or ghost stories, or star wars or whatever, draw upon that).

Good luck!


P.S. Remind your group that they all have the most important criteria to DM...they're not jerks. Emphasize that no one has to live up to Gary. After all, you fired Gary.

 

[Raven Crowking]

Lots of good advice in this thread, but I think this probably hits home the most.

Ted has sort of been mailing it in, especially in the last few weeks, which I've been interpreting that as him not really wanting to DM--just feeling like he kinda has to because no one else will.

But while there may be some truth to that, what I (fairly selfishly) haven't been really thinking about is our responsibility as a group to make the game great, and to make it more fun for him.

I think I'm gonna focus on that for the time being.

Thanks.

Any time.

What edition are you guys playing, anyway? And what level?


RC

 

[StreamOfTheSky]

I'm feeling kind of sad for Gary, it seems he would really need a friend. If the game was his life, as you suggest, he basically has no life at all now. He seriously needs a good talk, maybe even to rant, and he might become much better for it. Are you 100% sure he saw your side of things, for example? He might be nurturing the idea that you all abandoned him for no reason at all. Its probably too late for one of you guys to talk to him, but if you know any of the friends he still might have, you might ask them to act as go-betweens. His side of the story might not be interesting to you, really, but if he gets to tell it to anyone at all, he might bounce back.

I concur with this.

 

[Turtlejay]

Any time.

What edition are you guys playing, anyway? And what level?


RC

Don't answer that! This thread is full of great advice, derailment via edition war is the last thing it needs!

Jay

 

[Raven Crowking]

Don't answer that! This thread is full of great advice, derailment via edition war is the last thing it needs!

Jay

I was wondering if I had some materials from previous adventures that I might donate to "Ted". I.e., email him some statblocks, adventure notes, etc., to make game prep easier.

An edition war is not what I had in mind.

@ the OP: PM me if interested, or use ravencrowking at hotmail dot com.


RC

 

[Stacie GmrGrl]

I would talk to Gary one time about why you guys left, so he knows why you left. The suggestion of talking to him like it was more of a business is a good idea, and if Gary is approached in that kind of manner than maybe he might get his head out of his butt...sometimes it takes a person to be talked to in a certain way for them to understand why something (an exodus of players leaving, in this case) happened. And maybe, by knowing that, he can either choose to change his way or stay the same.

But then, that would be his choice to live with.

Help Ted out. Maybe change to a different game for a while. Something with less prep time, something with a different philosophy. Maybe the game he's running isn't the best fit for him, but another different game could be.

I think everybody can run a game and run it good, but I think each person has to find their niche, they have to find what style of system they are good at.

Ask him what he likes about DMing. See if he likes the sandbox approach, or if he wants to do more but is scared to really try. That's my issue, as a girl with a bunch of guys...I'm just way to scared to be a DM, I am scared that I would suck, that most gamers have expectations on what beinng a good DM is like, and if I don't meet those expectations than I will be a crappy DM. At least Ted is doing it.

Give him a pat on the back and tell him he's doing a good job. And ask him if he's having fun DMing. Maybe he just doesn't enjoy it. But if he does enjoy it, and he wants to do better, ask him if he wants help or where his problem areas are, if he has any.

 

[Turtlejay]

Aw, I was joking! He mentioned in the OP that it was 4e. I thought you knew that...

Jay

 

[Raven Crowking]

Missed that. Too bad, on one hand, because I've got no homemade 4e materials, but good on the other hand, in that 4e prep is supposed to be fairly simple and he can use materials from Dungeon (which is available from the WotC sans charge).

I've been looking over the 4e Dungeons for materials to convert, and there are actually some very interesting things in there. If the group hasn't made use of this resource yet, they could reserve it for "Ted" to use.


RC

 

[Mark Chance]

There's a mantra amongst my friends: Life is too short for bad games.

Life's too short for jackass "friends".

 

[Amaroq]

I see three real options here:

1. See if any of the other six players has a hankering to DM - ideally, the best role-player of the group, possibly somebody who hasn't DM'ed before but is willing to bite it off.

2. Work with Ted - see what his problem(s) are.
a.) Overwhelmed? Maybe he needs to DM every other week.
b.) Uncreative? Maybe he needs to DM prepared materials
c.) Not enjoying DM'ing? Maybe he's a player, not a DM.
d.) Comparing himself to Gary? .. Work him through that: he's not Gary, but you don't want him to be, either.
e.) Inexperienced? Maybe try working with him, co-DM'ing, showing him your creative process, etc.

3. Try a Rotating DM system. Everybody takes a 2-3 session turn at DM'ing, either making up their own material or running a short purchased module. Everybody gets to be a player (their PC just "sits out" the sessions they're DM'ing), and everybody gets some experience DM'ing .. who knows, you might find your next great storyteller.