Great DM, crappy friend vs. good friend, crappy DM

[Blackbrrd]

Game 50% less.

Crawling back to a guy that act as a jerk isn't good for any of you. You might consider talking to Gary. I am really surprised that you didn't do it before you shut the game down. He might be a bit power-hungry because he doesn't usually have any power.

Playing with a DM that doesn't have time to prepare and isn't marvelous at improvisation or inspiring in some other way isn't fun. It is way better to play 50% less at 90% quality than to play 100% of normal and at 10% quality.

Regarding "Ted" - he might be a good DM, but you should know if he is able to do it or not. Think it through. I have played with a DM that CAN be good, but he needs to prepare and not be stressed out to be one. Something he rarely is.

 

[Raven Crowking]

At that point, the rest of us said screw it and left.

If it took you that long, you have the patients of saints. Life is way too short to play with s, even if they are great DMs.

So we have a few options:

You didn't say what system that you are using, so I'm not sure how much prep work is required for a competent game. But, you might consider shifting systems to something like Labyrinth Lord for a while, because prep is so much faster than D20/3e/4e/Pathfinder.

Something that is easier and, frankly, more fun to prep might make all the difference.

Another tact, regardless of system, is that everyone takes responsibility for the game, not just poor "Ted". If your game isn't awesomeness with an extra layer of awesome sauce, it might be because "Gary" has been doing so much of the heavy lifting that the other players have forgotten how to invest on their own.

Stop "wandering, texting, whatever". Make that a group decision, and stick to it. You want the game to be great? Make "great gaming" the group's responsibility! Try things because they're fun, not just because they're optimal, and be ready for great stories to arise. Go out looking for them.

Make sure "Ted" knows what you want. Telegraph your ideas. "Wouldn't it be great if....." If "Ted" is willing, get the group together to create a shared world in which to adventure. Don't worry about devising stats....worry only about making maps, making history, and making adventure hooks. Share it with EN World. When other people say "Hey, that's cool!", beam with pride.

The single key element to a great RPG campaign? Everyone invests!

By all means look for materials to help "Ted". But, remember, these are gifts, not chains of obligation around his neck. Basically, you have to build "Ted" up. Focus on the good stuff. Tell him what you like about each game. Minimize the bad. Give him the same respect-as-DM you gave "Gary", and all the respect-as-person "Gary" failed to earn.

If you want "Ted" to invest in DMing, you will need to make that investment pay off.

And you can do that. It is in your best interests to do that.

What you should not do is go crawling back to Gary. Better to never play again.


RC

 

[unan oranis]

Start dm'ing twice as much man.

Take over ted's game and become a true master like gary, but without the lameness.

Your starring in your own kung-fu movie!

 

[Dausuul]

Definitely don't go back to Gary. If he comes to you and says he's seen the error of his ways, you might consider taking him back, but your reasons for leaving are as valid now as they were when you left.

My inclination would be to game 50% less, and meanwhile start recruiting outside the group, see if you can find someone willing to DM. Failing that, I've heard that War of the Burning Sky is good, though I haven't run or played it myself.

 

[S'mon]

Another option that I was thinking of was paying him. No, really. Someone else on these boards mentioned a long time ago that they pay one of the guys to DM. That's something you could consider that would 100% ensure that Gary is not a jerk. It doesn't have to be a lot of money and it certainly seems like it would be worth it. Maybe US$5 per night is okay. It's certainly a lot less than a movie and lasts longer. Add in dinner / drinks (so maybe $6) and I'm sure Gary would like that and then you guys enter into a "contract" so to speak.

This occurred to me too. I wouldn't normally suggest it, but it seems like Gary might be a better professional GM than regular/casual GM. Pay him to act professional and not be a jerk at table. He might be flattered you think so highly of his lewt GMing skills, and go for it. Or not, but might be worth trying.

 

[roguerouge]

Is there a reason why you can't get your immersive role playing fix through online pbp games?

 

[JoeNotCharles]

I would say, keep DM'ing your Wednesday game as your ongoing regular campaign, and on the weekends mix it up a bit. Try out new genres, different rulesets, play some board games instead once in a while. Maybe a rules-light game would make it easier for Ted to improvise. Maybe you can do a lot of one-shots and rotate DM's.

 

[Armadillo]

You could make Sunday's game more of an informal campaign, one-shot adventures broken up by nights of board gaming and movie nights. You'd still be getting together, keeping the habit scheduled, and your friend could have more time between running sessions to prepare (if he's interested).

This. Plus, it would give your group a chance to find a new groove while trying out different games and giving each person a chance to sit in the GM's chair, if they're interested.

 

[Pig Champion]

I really dislike your attitude but whatever. At the end of the day, Ted is your friend and a good guy, it also takes time to develop into a decent DM/GM and he's the only one who was willing to help his friends out by DM'ing for you.

I'd say that's a pretty big indicator of who to go with. Perhaps he, like you, doesn't have much time and does as much as he can but is only DM'ing so his friends can have fun.

I'd either help him develop into a DM, not just you but the whole group. Players are responsible for their games as well and it's not hard to give pointers or constructive criticism during a session. I do it all the time with friends of mine who want to try DM'ing out.

The other option is stop gaming on Sundays. If you and your group are really that sore about it, that you can't put up with your friend's growing pains while he tries to do you all a favour, then just stop gaming on that day.

 

[awesomeocalypse]

Another tact, regardless of system, is that everyone takes responsibility for the game, not just poor "Ted". If your game isn't awesomeness with an extra layer of awesome sauce, it might be because "Gary" has been doing so much of the heavy lifting that the other players have forgotten how to invest on their own.

Stop "wandering, texting, whatever". Make that a group decision, and stick to it. You want the game to be great? Make "great gaming" the group's responsibility! Try things because they're fun, not just because they're optimal, and be ready for great stories to arise. Go out looking for them.

Make sure "Ted" knows what you want. Telegraph your ideas. "Wouldn't it be great if....." If "Ted" is willing, get the group together to create a shared world in which to adventure. Don't worry about devising stats....worry only about making maps, making history, and making adventure hooks. Share it with EN World. When other people say "Hey, that's cool!", beam with pride.

The single key element to a great RPG campaign? Everyone invests!

By all means look for materials to help "Ted". But, remember, these are gifts, not chains of obligation around his neck. Basically, you have to build "Ted" up. Focus on the good stuff. Tell him what you like about each game. Minimize the bad. Give him the same respect-as-DM you gave "Gary", and all the respect-as-person "Gary" failed to earn.

If you want "Ted" to invest in DMing, you will need to make that investment pay off.

And you can do that. It is in your best interests to do that.

What you should not do is go crawling back to Gary. Better to never play again.

Lots of good advice in this thread, but I think this probably hits home the most.

Ted has sort of been mailing it in, especially in the last few weeks, which I've been interpreting that as him not really wanting to DM--just feeling like he kinda has to because no one else will.

But while there may be some truth to that, what I (fairly selfishly) haven't been really thinking about is our responsibility as a group to make the game great, and to make it more fun for him.

I think I'm gonna focus on that for the time being.

Thanks.