Happy Haggert Hurried Hungry Hitch Hiking Hired Henchmen Hivers.... apply within

[Aeson]

In middle school my neice said she was bisexual and even had a girlfriend. The girlfriend didn't last long. As far as I know there hasn't been a boyfriend or girlfriend since. I'm not surprised by that. She is VERY demanding. She's a snob, and domineering. I want to tell her I hope she does like boys because a woman isn't going to put up with her . A guy will put up with it in the hopes of getting laid.

If I told you the latest goings on at my sister's place, you wouldn't believe me. There's a reason I'd rather stay in my car than live in that house. I can NOT live with the two of them. Add all the dogs and cats to the mix? Fuggetaboutit. It finally drove my mom away. She is a saint with the patience of Job, but she had her fill.

 

[Dog Moon]

Same

My first thought was "There is no way to feel older than when you're talking to people to be like 'So what were you doing in x year' and the resulting answers be 'I wasn't born yet'." '83 for me!

 

[Aeson]

I think what makes me feel older is when I can start talking about my life in decades. I've been driving on my own for 3 decades. 30 frippin years.

 

[trappedslider]

My first thought was "There is no way to feel older than when you're talking to people to be like 'So what were you doing in x year' and the resulting answers be 'I wasn't born yet'." '83 for me!

Last week a theater showed the second harry potter movie, on the way out I overheard one guy say to his friend that he wasn't even born when it was originally shown in the theater.

 

[Aeson]

I got my PhD in B.S. from FU.

 

[Dannyalcatraz]

My first thought was "There is no way to feel older than when you're talking to people to be like 'So what were you doing in x year' and the resulting answers be 'I wasn't born yet'." '83 for me!

I still love Paul McCartney’s story about the first time he actually felt old.

He was riding a subway somewhere, and was recognized by a young fan. She said she was a huge fan and had all of his records.

”Even The Beatles?” he asked, smiling.

Her jaw dropped open, pausing before she answered in awed tones,”You were in a band before Wings?”

*****

Also, my Property professor in law school was teaching us about the Doctrine of Ancient Documents: any document over 20 years old is (rebuttably) presumed to be legitimate. IOW, not a forgery.

”For many of you,“ he drawled, “this is the first time something younger than you has been called ’ancient.’ This will not be the last time.”

 

[Mad_Jack]

I haven't heard that joke.

A frog walks into a bank, and stands in line. When he gets to the counter, the frog says to the bank teller, "Hello, Ma'am, I'd like to take out a loan for $15,000..."
The bank teller, whose name is Ms. Patricia Whack, according to the little brass plate on the counter, looks at the frog and says, quite helpfully, ""...You're a talking frog."
"Yes, Ma'am.", the frog replies, "And I'd like to take out a loan for $15,000."
"Do... Do you have an account here, sir?"
"No, Ma'am."
"I see. In that case, can you provide some sort of collateral for the loan?"
"No, Ma'am."
"So... You don't have an account here and you can't provide any collateral, but you'd still like us to loan you $15.000?"
"Yes, Ma'am. I don't have an account here or any collateral, but your manager is an old friend of my father. If you'd kindly give these to him, Ms. Whack, I'm sure he'll agree to give me a loan. "
The frog then hands her a business card with the name Kermit Jagger on it, and a small pink ceramic elephant.

Still rather dubious about the situation, Ms. Whack knocks on the door of her manager's office, and says," Sir, there's a... customer outside who wants a loan for $15.000, but he doesn't have an account here or anything to put up for collateral."
"I see. And did you tell them we can't give them a loan?"
"Ah, no sir... You see, he asked me to give you this business card, and this... thing."
Upon seeing the little pink elephant the bank manager smiles and exclaims, "Kermit's here?? Patty, give him whatever he asks for."
"But... but, sir..."
"It's okay - his father and I go way back. Give him his money - that elephant is all the collateral he needs."
Ms. Whack looks helplessly at the elephant, then sighs and says, "Yes, sir. But, sir... What is this thing?"

The bank manager hands her a framed picture of himself and Mick Jagger both holding the small pink ceramic elephant up toward the camera with their arms around each others' shoulders , and says...

"It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan - His old man's a Rolling Stone."

 

[trappedslider]

 

[Aeson]

That joke reminds me of this. I've shared it before but I love it so much.

 

[Blackrat]

Last week a theater showed the second harry potter movie, on the way out I overheard one guy say to his friend that he wasn't even born when it was originally shown in the theater.

Half my workmates are 20+ years older than me, and the other half were born after the Phantom Menace

It’s funny to feel like a highschooler and a grizzled veteran at the same time.