Happy Haggert Hurried Hungry Hitch Hiking Hired Henchmen Hivers.... apply within

[Dannyalcatraz]

I am a Southern gentleman, not a redneck. I don't own a single piece of camouflage clothing, and If I get married IT WILL NOT BE ALLOWED. I think big trucks on big tires are for small men. Same for those loud whiney sputtering cars. I love country music but I hate what they've done to it recently.
No rap in my country, thank you very much.
I don't think Budweiser or Miller Lite is the height of beer making. I don't chew/dip/smoke or tobacco. I'll eat beans and cornbread, greens and cornbread, biscuits and gravy, fried chicken, fried okra. Many fine southern dishes.
I'm southern by the grace of luck. I don't revel in the trashy. I always try to rise above and take anyone willing to go with me.

Awwww! Aeson’s Mainfesto!

 

[Aeson]

Awwww! Aeson’s Mainfesto!

The South will RISE AGAIN in my image.

 

[Blackrat]

The South will RISE AGAIN in my image.

All hail Antarctica!

 

[Aeson]

All hail Antarctica!

My raccoon army will join forces with my penguin navy and I shall be unstoppable.

 

[Aeson]

Raccoons are greedy little f-ing extortionists - whatever you gave them the last time isn't going to be good enough this time.

This is why I use them as bagmen.

 

[Mad_Jack]

The South will RISE AGAIN in my image.

Just out of curiosity, how much yeast is it going to require for that?

 

[Aeson]

"They're throwing a 32 story, 6 million pound building into space using explosions. Who f$%#ing wouldn't want to see that?"
Noah Lugeons when talking about the estimated 100,000 people expected at Cape Canaveral to see the Artemis I launch.

 

[Aeson]

If this doesn't make you smile, then you have no soul.

 

[Relique du Madde]

I'm not sure if I recounted the time i got swarmed by raccoons here years ago before I vanished.

It happened nine years ago. I was playing ingress at UCI in the middle of the night and had a super big gulp with me. I saw some racoons so I switched out of the game and put down the drink so I could take a picture. The racoons started to investigate and before I knew it there were more than five surrounding me. After for like five minutes, one tried to climb my leg so I shook it off and they got freaked and ran off. One of the bastards stole my drink.

Before you say picts or it didn't happen...

 

[Blackrat]

Damnit. I’ve only been swarmed by wild hogs, an elk and a capercaillie. We don’t have anything as cool as raccoons. Well ok, we have wolverines, but they are rare as bleep…