D&D 5E Help me write a tomb crawl!

[JWO]

Let me just pick my jaw up off the floor...

 

[LostSoul]

Room 1: Lower left
Entrance
Information about the plant monster in room X: its dead or something.
Connects to: Room 2 (east passage)

Room 2: Lower Middle
Empty
Connects to: Room 3 (north passage, doors, trapped: opening the doors from the south triggers a pit by removing a latch (save avoids); pit visible by outline if carefully searched, air flow a little strange.

Room 3: Middle Middle
Trick
The Sun Room
The area in the middle of the map is lit up by the sun
Looking up one can see the sun coming from a chute that's at least 100' high - higher than the covering terrain
The sunlight burns anything that is not aligned with the Sun God Utu
Climbing up leads the PCs into a different plane - the domain of Utu
Those who climb will meet a messenger of Utu, who will judge them in the name of justice: if the PCs have been just in their actions, they will receive a boon (see in darkness); otherwise, they will be blinded (permanently)
Connects to: Room x (east passage, door, trapped: opening the door triggers a magical flash that blinds characters for 1d6x10 minutes (save avoids); the door cannot be opened unless...
Room 4 (northwest passage, tunnel)

Room 4: Middle Right
Information
Connects to: Room 5 (east passage)
Room 6 (north drop)

Room 5: Middle Left
Monster & Treasure
The Just
Undead buried here risen as temple guardians. Burial sites flooded. They rise from the depths when PCs attempt to approach the south passage. There are multitudes here, but only so many arise at a time; guided by the justice of Utu, they are replenished in one hour.
Attacks: as cleric plus just wrath: if a PC has recently (within the past month) done an unjustice, and the temple guardian hits the PC, the PC loses the ability to take bonus actions? or something like that. Pretty bad-ass. Recover with a long rest.
Treasure: nice treasures buried in the sarcophogi, though it requires swimming and if one is opened the undead will rise.

Blerg... here's what I'm thinking for the rest.
The upper right room has a sinkhole or something that leads to the river; PCs can swim through it and avoid the monster in room 5.
Another monster in the upper left - probably a plant monster that basks in the light of the Sun Room.
A secret door that connects the middle top with the middle/middle/left.
A trap in the lower-right: to test justice
Treasure in the altar room.

 

[JWO]

I think it'd be cool if the traps, undead, and other monsters were put in place by the active temple's ancestors. This lost temple was sealed and deliberately lost, and never intended to be found. Those obstacles were put there not only to keep intruders out, but to keep something in.

So, as they're slaying the mummies, maybe a Religion check to note that the mummies are wearing the raiment of ancient practitioners of the active temple's faith. The PCs might conclude that they're corrupted, or cursed. Nope: they volunteered for the honor of defending and guarding this place.

Maybe at the very end, after they crack the last seal, you reveal an old story about a place so horrible, a mistake so shameful, that an entire temple was abandoned, an entire priesthood compelled to undead guardianship, and an entire region erased from history. That story was thought to be apocryphal, but nope--you found it. Tease out the story in bits and pieces (scraps of journal notes, or canned NPC dialogue from their guides/henchmen) the same way games like Bioshock feed scraps of lore.

When the players realize what they've done, cue the earth-shaking and the column-toppling. They have to flee upward, running through previously cleared areas while dodging collapses, environmental hazards, and minions/spawn. When they finally escape* they have to wonder if the collapse will keep the Bad down, or if that dried-up underground river they passed on the way down will provide an avenue of escape.

* If you let them escape. Would be fun to wipe the party. Treat the entire thing as the pre-opening-credits scene of a movie that sets up the real campaign. If you do that, give the players pre-gens (and just say "trust me on this, for one or two sessions" when they ask to make their own).

I decided to go with Zaruthustran's amazing idea and I've started putting together the encounters room by room. I've decided that the big evil they've locked away used to be a human priest of the order who was transformed into an efreeti in his quest for power (I may have watched Aladdin recently...), so in the last couple of rooms leading up to where he's sealed away (maybe in a lamp for that traditional flavour!) it'll start getting warmer and warmer with fiery creatures popping up here and there when the adventurers arrive.

Again, this is the map we'll be using, with the big bad sealed away in the furthest north eastern room:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6PeQSVm15...ZLUiM0/s1600/PathfinderBeginnerBoxFlipmap.jpg

A couple of the rooms I'm not sure of are the square room with the glowing circle in it. I'm going to have it that this used to be a room in which the consecrated water was kept for visitors to cleanse themselves before entering the temple. I'm going to use [MENTION=386]LostSoul[/MENTION]'s idea and have it open at the top but it'll just open up to the sky so the sun can filter down. The twist is going to be that the pool is actually no longer filled with holy water but burns people if they splash themselves with it. There'll be a plaque on the wall that reads something like “Cleanse thyself in the radiant waters before entering.” d'you reckon that's a good idea? It'll be the adventurers first sign that something is working to try to keep them out. Would you give them a chance to notice that something's up with the water? Maybe a smell or a slight sheen to it? I was only going to have it deal 1d6 acid damage or something.

The other room I'm not sure of is the adjoining room with the altar in it. I feel like it should have something special in it but I don't know what. Some kind of interesting encounter that'll start to clue them in to the true nature of the temple and what happened to the priests.

Other than that they'll encounter skeletons, a giant scorpion, dust mephits, all in rooms that used to be part of the temple and the living quarters of the priests, with clues dotted around; and then in the far north western room there's going to be the burial chamber with a mummy and some skeletons. It's going to be the most difficult encounter of the dungeon as these are going to be the final guardians of the temple, the priests who were assigned the task of protecting the final chamber.

 

[LostSoul]

The twist is going to be that the pool is actually no longer filled with holy water but burns people if they splash themselves with it. There'll be a plaque on the wall that reads something like “Cleanse thyself in the radiant waters before entering.” d'you reckon that's a good idea? It'll be the adventurers first sign that something is working to try to keep them out. Would you give them a chance to notice that something's up with the water? Maybe a smell or a slight sheen to it? I was only going to have it deal 1d6 acid damage or something.

I'd do something like this:

* a plaque on the wall reads “Cleanse thyself in the radiant waters before entering”
> the writing looks old. Int check: DC 15 places the era of the writing; DC 20 identifies the religion and the religion's alignment.
* the pool has an oily sheen on it.
> detect magic identifies two entangled magical fields and its effect: anyone who disturbs the water will burn, like putting your hand in a camp fire (1d6 damage - curse damage, not fire); allows Arcana DC 15: one field was placed here intentionally, the other came later as a result of environmental magical pollution
> Religion check: DC 15, same info as detect magic, allows Arcana check
> the curse can be removed by destroying the extra magical field; this can be done with dispel magic, remove curse, channel divinity, or anything else that makes sense to the DM (I suggest working off the idea that you want to collapse the rogue magical field - anything that targets magical energy and/or electricity; there's a chance that all magic is destroyed)
> if the curse is removed and the original magic remains, anyone who washes themselves in the water from the pool is affected by a lesser restoration spell and gains a boon or bane, depending on their alignment. Those who have the same alignment as the religion are affected by an aid & bless spell; those one step removed are only affected by a bless spell; those two or more steps removed are blinded (can see only bright light; save resists; obviously the lesser restoration doesn't cancel this out). The effects last for 1d6x10 minutes.
> the water can be taken from the pool. It retains its magical properties for 1d6x10 minutes.

With the effects of the pool you can add in a monster that inflicts some kind of damaging condition that can be removed with a lesser restoration. The pool water will also blind it. Maybe a ghost or banshee with some other undead guardians? Could be a tough battle, helped by the holy water from the pool.

 

[Nefzyflin]

Let me just pick my jaw up off the floor...

I'd like to say, there really needs to be more threads like this one.

I'm a lurker, not really a poster. I get so tired of reading rules debates, although I do like read about how people handle different situations. I think there is simply not enough discussion about adventure ideas, encounters etc.

I struggle with coming up with ideas for adventures, more than I struggle with coming up with rules to handle specific situations.

Some of you are simply amazing, at coming up with adventure ideas.

Thanks

Nef

 

[JWO]

I'd do something like this:

* a plaque on the wall reads “Cleanse thyself in the radiant waters before entering”
> the writing looks old. Int check: DC 15 places the era of the writing; DC 20 identifies the religion and the religion's alignment.
* the pool has an oily sheen on it.
> detect magic identifies two entangled magical fields and its effect: anyone who disturbs the water will burn, like putting your hand in a camp fire (1d6 damage - curse damage, not fire); allows Arcana DC 15: one field was placed here intentionally, the other came later as a result of environmental magical pollution
> Religion check: DC 15, same info as detect magic, allows Arcana check
> the curse can be removed by destroying the extra magical field; this can be done with dispel magic, remove curse, channel divinity, or anything else that makes sense to the DM (I suggest working off the idea that you want to collapse the rogue magical field - anything that targets magical energy and/or electricity; there's a chance that all magic is destroyed)
> if the curse is removed and the original magic remains, anyone who washes themselves in the water from the pool is affected by a lesser restoration spell and gains a boon or bane, depending on their alignment. Those who have the same alignment as the religion are affected by an aid & bless spell; those one step removed are only affected by a bless spell; those two or more steps removed are blinded (can see only bright light; save resists; obviously the lesser restoration doesn't cancel this out). The effects last for 1d6x10 minutes.
> the water can be taken from the pool. It retains its magical properties for 1d6x10 minutes.

With the effects of the pool you can add in a monster that inflicts some kind of damaging condition that can be removed with a lesser restoration. The pool water will also blind it. Maybe a ghost or banshee with some other undead guardians? Could be a tough battle, helped by the holy water from the pool.

Oh yeah, I really like the idea of having the two magical fields entangled. It really fits with the idea that the adventurers are there to cleanse and restore the place!

 

[JWO]

Ok, I hope this isn't too much of a thread necro but I've actually been putting this adventure together as a Google doc. Please bear in mind the fact that this will be for mostly beginner players and being run by a beginner DM (me) so it's completely and deliberately railroady. This is a work in progress so there are comments attached just for bits that I'm up in the air over or for things that might seem a bit weird. One thing I'm looking for is ideas for treasures that would work well in here, either mundane or magical.

Finally, I have to thank [MENTION=1457]Zaruthustran[/MENTION] for basically coming up with the entire premise, and also to everyone else for their awesome suggestions!

I set it so that you can add comments to the doc so please go ahead if you feel so inclined. I'll probably be in and out of it throughout the day making edits:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gxS8J2LX0g56xbMsrJmbXjJoNyNsFNFjMDW-MJcG7Ak/edit?usp=sharing

 

[Ravenheart87]

I will add some comments if you don't mind.

 

[JWO]

That would be great, thank you. It's open to everyone!

 

[Ravenheart87]

I went through the notes. Solid beginning adventure, especially considering that you're a beginner DM. As for being railroady, don't be afraid to add some branching, circles and a few more rooms to your dungeon. With ten rooms it won't make the life of your beginner players much more difficult. Also some secret doors and rooms would be welcome. It's a good lesson if they don't search for them and later get attacked by a monster that was hiding behind the wall. I will keep an eye on your text to see how you develop the dungeon.