The problem is a lot of people are asserting the motivation issue, so responses have been framed in that vein - it's not easy to separate them out and responses may get muddled.
I've already stated that I basically agree with your core statement (from previously) and don't actually think anything I've said is contrary to it,
I wasn't actually calling anyone a jerk (certainly not intentionally - it's a long thread). The one post that may be on point about it was a poster taking an accidental misquote (where I accidentally used the quote feature improperly and didn't catch myself to edit until later) and rubbing it in.
As for smug and condescending your post came off as a pat on the head and "guess you're just not evolved enough to understand the correct perspective" vibe when I first read it - but that could very well be me taking out the thread on the post. So apologies and I shouldn't have said anything about smug or condescending.
I genuinely don't think that there's really that much to discuss. From the 1000' point of view, it's a very fundamental divide between approaches to the game.
That doesn't mean that it's a black/white thing; of course there are gradations and most people tend to borrow from one camp or the other, but I've seen this over and over again not just in this thread, or RPG forums over time, but all the way back for decades.
Think of how many different debates are encapsulated in that divide. "DM Empowerment" and "Player Agency." "Optimization" and "Roleplaying." "RAW" and "RAI." Even terms you see tossed around (players complaining about "Mother May I" or DMs complaining about "Rules Lawyers") often go back to that divide.
It's not that I don't understand the principles or the disagreements, it's just that I've gotten to the point where it seems tiring and facile. I totally get why some people prefer clear, unambiguous rules. I also understand why some players prefer getting deep into the numbers and feel that this type of rules mastery should be rewarded (and, conversely, that a failure to reward this mastery is punishment).
At the end of the day, it's a question of preferences. There are bad players, and there are bad DMs. I think what happens is that people conflate their preference for a style of play with their prior experience with bad players and bad DMs.