pukunui
Legend
Yes! This: "My hope is that surrounding
D&D General How Do I Help Mentor a GM Making Rookie Mistakes?
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TorgoTheWhite
Explorer
I would just sip some cognac and go along for the ride
HooliTheBird
Villager
I'm in a somewhat similar position to your GM, where I've taken on the role of GM/DM from someone more experienced than I, and in starting my own campaign, I personally would be very grateful for feedback and tips from my more seasoned players, but not everyone is as open to the thoughts of others.
I would suggest asking first if she would be willing to receive feedback.
Showing your support during game time is very important. Praise the things she does well and boost her confidence in her skills, and off-game, give her advice and tips if she is willing to accept them.
People are often more willing to receive critiques when they’re given by someone with the intention of helping them grow.
What I would say is be thoughtful about the advice you give. Is it something that will help her become a better GM, or is it something that will only make the game more appealing or comfortable to you? (I apologize if I worded that in a somewhat mean tone)
Nevertheless, have patience with her. We all have to start somewhere, so allow her to make her mistakes and grow.
Best wishes to you!
I would suggest asking first if she would be willing to receive feedback.
Showing your support during game time is very important. Praise the things she does well and boost her confidence in her skills, and off-game, give her advice and tips if she is willing to accept them.
People are often more willing to receive critiques when they’re given by someone with the intention of helping them grow.
What I would say is be thoughtful about the advice you give. Is it something that will help her become a better GM, or is it something that will only make the game more appealing or comfortable to you? (I apologize if I worded that in a somewhat mean tone)
Nevertheless, have patience with her. We all have to start somewhere, so allow her to make her mistakes and grow.
Best wishes to you!
Bae'zel
Hero
My approach nowadays is to start off recommending that a newbie run at least a few sessions RAW just to get the feel of the game. After that experience, go ahead and introduce house rules. That baseline is key.
Some vehemently disagree with this, but to give another perspective: not every player will be on board with your personal house rules. That’s fine and all, but having some familiarity with the baseline rules will help you meet people halfway and seek compromise.
Reading a game’s rules and actually playing them can yield surprises. At worst, when learning a new system, toss the dice a few times, run a few fights on your own. Read up on how existing magic items and spells work before inventing new ones. Not to LIMIT your creativity, but to get perspective, ya know?
I also advise new DMs to be fully transparent with players about their house rules. Tell them first, if you can. And try to be fair.
It is a social game after all.
Some vehemently disagree with this, but to give another perspective: not every player will be on board with your personal house rules. That’s fine and all, but having some familiarity with the baseline rules will help you meet people halfway and seek compromise.
Reading a game’s rules and actually playing them can yield surprises. At worst, when learning a new system, toss the dice a few times, run a few fights on your own. Read up on how existing magic items and spells work before inventing new ones. Not to LIMIT your creativity, but to get perspective, ya know?
I also advise new DMs to be fully transparent with players about their house rules. Tell them first, if you can. And try to be fair.
It is a social game after all.
Another vote for leave it alone. First games can be make it or break it for new GMs, and a really critical experience could make her give up the GM seat permanently, either because she doesn't feel confident about it, the players were unhappy, or a million other reasons.
Now is the time for enthusiasm and positive reinforcement.
Solid feedback is for 2nd+ campaigns, or if she actually asks for feedback. Let her have a good time, let her make mistakes, find whatever fun you can in the meantime.
Now is the time for enthusiasm and positive reinforcement.
Solid feedback is for 2nd+ campaigns, or if she actually asks for feedback. Let her have a good time, let her make mistakes, find whatever fun you can in the meantime.
Bae'zel
Hero
Are you suggesting that no one should provide feedback to a first time DM until after they've completed their entire first campaign? Hmmm... I'm not sure that I agree.
Feedback at some point IS important, especially if the players were unhappy BECAUSE of some rookie mistakes. I've seen this happen before.
It really depends on the type of mistakes, of course (some we can let slide, others can actually make the game experience poor for everyone).
For a first-timer DM who's suddenly springing house rules onto their players, some of which are at the PC's expense (eg critical fumbles, banned spells, changed skills or abilities etc.) those really should be communicated to everyone beforehand.
I'm not sure why TTRPGs seem to be exempt from some social contracts compared to other games. If you're hosting a Poker night, Risk weekend or Softball game for the first time, you shouldn't surprise your guests with sudden rules changes. Better explain first before the investment of time and energy. I don't care if it is your first time.
GM Lent
Elder Thing
I'm joining the "let her be, and roll with it" chorus. If more experienced players had thrashed my first ever campaign - where I did in fact hand out +5 vorpal holy-avengers or similar - I might not have even bothered to keep going.
Especially if I was a young woman and some know-it-all just had to unload on me to let me know everything they thought I was doing wrong. Play the game she is running, be grateful she is running it, and try to be open minded about it. If you're too stuck in your ways to enjoy it, that's not on her.
Especially if I was a young woman and some know-it-all just had to unload on me to let me know everything they thought I was doing wrong. Play the game she is running, be grateful she is running it, and try to be open minded about it. If you're too stuck in your ways to enjoy it, that's not on her.
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It completely depends on the person! Some people thrive on feedback and would be happy to hear it! Some people might be drowning beneath all the rules of 5e and really only open up to alterations once they start to feel a little comfortable. Definitely one of those 'play it by ear' situations.
Definitely! Speaking in very broad generalities that's probably a couple months in, unless this is the kind of GM that wants to get it right according to RAW the first time around, and I don't get that impression from the OPs updates.
This is one of those things where communicating to everyone beforehand IS best practice, but the DM hasn't learned best practices yet, and doesn't even seem to know what Session 0 is. Should the DM know these things? Yeah, absolutely. Should it be right now, in their first two games ever? That's where my "No, leave it alone for now" vote comes in.
I suppose it comes down to your preferred approach. "You should know these rules before you even start" is a valid option, and absolutely works for some kinds of people. I've personally always handled new players and GMs like kids. That might sound a little patronizing, but my single biggest goal in the beginning is making sure they are having fun and see what the wonder is all about.
But the other way to look at it is that this person has volunteered to host Poker night because no one else wanted to do it. So if the other players all show up and take the person up on their hospitality because they themselves couldn't be bothered to host... they shouldn't get to then also dictate how that person runs the game. After all... if they wanted to play poker in only a certain way so badly... then they should have hosted a poker night themselves.
Now granted the analogy does not fit 100% (especially considering that a poker night or a softball game is a one-time event and a D&D campaign is multiple nights over multiple weeks / months)... but none of us can say one way is 100% correct and the other way 100% wrong. Like everything, it's a shades of grey matter and it'll be up to each person to determine for themselves what their feeling are.
Me personally? A Session 0 and "Create A Character" night is always the right choice for me when I start a campaign. But like others have said... that's because I have years of experience and knowledge to know why it absolutely is the right choice when I run a game. But I'm not going to assume that my right choice is the right choice for everyone. And unless someone asks me for my view on the subject, I'm not going to give my opinion to them unasked just because I want them to see things and run things my way.
Poker is an interesting analogy here. Can you imagine if the person running/hosting the game announces that 3 of a kind beats a flush AFTER the money is in and the cards have been turned up? Poker is a great example of a game where the rules MUST be disclosed and known before play starts, especially any changes.
I'm all for letting the new DM find their way etc., but If there is a rules mistake (or mistakes) that significantly impacts the game? or if new DM is doing something seriously impacting the fun of the table? I wouldn't publicly call the person out, but I would privately mention the issues, in as polite a way as possible.
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