Kormydigar
First Post
Vindicator said:
What area of the country are you in? You might find some folks right here at EnWorld that you could game with.
How do I meet "mature" gamers?
- Thread starter Vindicator
- Start date
What area of the country are you in? You might find some folks right here at EnWorld that you could game with.
Desdichado
Hero
I'm in the same boat (although I turn 33 next year, you old fart ... and I've got four kids.
)
My group right now consists of three other guys in their early to mid thirties, happily married, and with kids of roughly the same ages, give or take a few years.
The one guy in my group, I stumbled on literally by accident -- my wife overheard some folks at church say the words "D&D" and popped over to say "hey, my husband plays that too" and the rest is history. That core group, four entire couples gaming together, is now sadly reduced to just me and Troy.
The other two guys I met here at ENWorld, actually. There's something to be said for putting your location in your profile. Then Troy and I organized the Detroit gameday, met a bunch of ENWorlders that are more or less local face to face, and these two stood out as folks that we'd like to play with. I invited about half a dozen folks that I already knew and had seen again at the gameday to a game I was starting and those three responded.
It takes a little digging, but it's not impossible. I've actually had better luck than you with FLGS gaming boards, apparently, but my best "gamer finding story" is reserved for poking around the boards here, as it happens.
My group right now consists of three other guys in their early to mid thirties, happily married, and with kids of roughly the same ages, give or take a few years.
The one guy in my group, I stumbled on literally by accident -- my wife overheard some folks at church say the words "D&D" and popped over to say "hey, my husband plays that too" and the rest is history. That core group, four entire couples gaming together, is now sadly reduced to just me and Troy.
The other two guys I met here at ENWorld, actually. There's something to be said for putting your location in your profile. Then Troy and I organized the Detroit gameday, met a bunch of ENWorlders that are more or less local face to face, and these two stood out as folks that we'd like to play with. I invited about half a dozen folks that I already knew and had seen again at the gameday to a game I was starting and those three responded.
It takes a little digging, but it's not impossible. I've actually had better luck than you with FLGS gaming boards, apparently, but my best "gamer finding story" is reserved for poking around the boards here, as it happens.
Kid Charlemagne
I am the Very Model of a Modern Moderator
I've had a lot of success posting ads at the local FLGS - both in California and here in Illinois. I think that you can narrow the interested parties down significantly by writing a good ad that reflects your gaming interests - the more well-done, nicely printed out, etc, the more likely you'll receive replies in the same vein. In my California game, I got four players from the ad, another who was the brother of my GM in college, and yet another who worked with him. It worked out beautifully. Here in Chicago, I got three players from an ad, and one more that I gamed with in college. We're all still gaming together 10 years later.
In both cases, I spoke with the players over the phone and did a kind of "prequalifying interview." Asked about how they started playing, what kinds of games they liked, what kind of characters they like to play, and told them a little about myself and my gaming style. For the California group, we all got together at a pizza joint for pizza and brew, and kibitzed for a while to see if we all got along.
All told, ten players, none of whom fit that "misfit gamer" stereotype at all. Engineers, software developers, programmers, bankers, and all manner of professional and smart folks.
In both cases, I spoke with the players over the phone and did a kind of "prequalifying interview." Asked about how they started playing, what kinds of games they liked, what kind of characters they like to play, and told them a little about myself and my gaming style. For the California group, we all got together at a pizza joint for pizza and brew, and kibitzed for a while to see if we all got along.
All told, ten players, none of whom fit that "misfit gamer" stereotype at all. Engineers, software developers, programmers, bankers, and all manner of professional and smart folks.
William Ronald
Explorer
Kormydigar said:
You might want to post in the Gamers Seeking Gamers forum. (I am working on a homebrew, and got an excellent number of responses from people on the thread in my sig. When I am ready, there are many gamers from that thread whom I would like to get in touch with.)
I think it is important to describe what you are looking for in a group. Maturity may mean different things to different people. Some want "mature" themes -- others want emotional and intellectual maturity. However, maturity is not always positively correlated to age. There is no fool like an old fuel, as the saying goes.
For myself, I think it is important to have gamers in a group who respect each other and have similar playing styles. Balance is another issue -- not just in terms of the rules but in the group. Everyone should have a chance to shine now and then. You miht want to include details on what you are looking for in a group. Maybe "Mature gamer seeking mature gamers at least 28 years of age," or something like that. Of course, these days you can find 30-somethings going back to school or changing careers. So, try to find people who have similar interests and a similar lifestyle.
Also, try to attend an EN World Game Day in your area. Most of the people I have meet at the Game Days in Chicago are fun, interesting, and responsible. The age level does run all over the map. Good luck, Vindicator, in finding a group that fits your needs.
WizarDru
Adventurer
Geez. I'm going to turn 36 in a few months, and I'm 'mature'?
Dang. It's bad enough I'm no longer in a 'key target demographic'....now I'm mature.
I wonder if I should point this out to my players, one of whom has just past the 40 mark? Heh.
Seriously, check the gamers seeking gamers forum. You'd be suprised how many ENWorlders there are who simply lurk, but who might be up for a game in your area.
Dang. It's bad enough I'm no longer in a 'key target demographic'....now I'm mature.
I wonder if I should point this out to my players, one of whom has just past the 40 mark? Heh.
Seriously, check the gamers seeking gamers forum. You'd be suprised how many ENWorlders there are who simply lurk, but who might be up for a game in your area.
DM_Jeff
Explorer
Mature Gamers
First, I know about the FLGS, it's actually one of a few reasons my wife and I don't go there anymore, but I digress.
>>You might want to post in the Gamers Seeking Gamers forum.
Exactly, my post earlier this year on this site led me to two terriffic folks who now game with us, close in age and all.
I also think it is luck, and the area where you are. In my neck of the woods, the HUGE majority of folks are married, with good jobs, and settled. In fact I have too many players, you want some?
-DM Jeff
First, I know about the FLGS, it's actually one of a few reasons my wife and I don't go there anymore, but I digress.
>>You might want to post in the Gamers Seeking Gamers forum.
Exactly, my post earlier this year on this site led me to two terriffic folks who now game with us, close in age and all.
I also think it is luck, and the area where you are. In my neck of the woods, the HUGE majority of folks are married, with good jobs, and settled. In fact I have too many players, you want some?
-DM Jeff
StalkingBlue
First Post
Personally I've tended to recruit players from among my circle of friends. This brings in people my own age or at least on a similar wavelength with me, plus it's great fun to seduce newbies into the hobby! 
Also once you have found a few players of your dream age, you might consider relaxing age requirements and just look for anyone with a reasonable degree of personal maturity and decent communication skills. My two favourite groups were/are spread in age range from 20 to 55 and from 22 or so to 40, respectively.
Good luck with the searching!
Also once you have found a few players of your dream age, you might consider relaxing age requirements and just look for anyone with a reasonable degree of personal maturity and decent communication skills. My two favourite groups were/are spread in age range from 20 to 55 and from 22 or so to 40, respectively.
Good luck with the searching!
My 2 Cents
Well since I come from Vermont which is one of the most gamer unfriendly areas I know of I will give you my 2 cents, and describe how we went from nothing to a group of 20+ MATURE gamers playing every month.
It all started like ten years ago.
I met a couple for the first time at a convention and we hit it off right away.
Next year saw them again at another convention, and started talking about home and where we lived. Found out we lived in the same town of 2000 people in Southern Vermont and started talking about how we wanted to play more often than conventions a couple of times a year.
It took about 6 months before I started making calls and planning to start a game as I was tired of not being able to play.
We started off with 6 people.
As it turned out, each of us knew one or two other people who played at some time or other and asked them to join us. Each of them knew one or two other people and so on...
After about a two and a half years we had gained through word of mouth about 20 players and our once a month game was split into a Saturday and a Sunday session because a single game had gotten way too big.
Due to the play style of most of the people we do not keep anyone who I would consider a "Munchkin" for long as they really hate the type of game we play but for us old farts (30+ age range, married, and most of us cut our RPG teeth in the Red Box D&D days) it is what we want to play.
Since most of us have been around RPG's for so long we have some exceptional DM's and many of us have experience playing almost anything you can think of. Many of us also run events at local conventions and are known to play RPG's, Card Games, mini's, and board games.
So now for my advice...
1) Attend local conventions and meet people there. If the con doesn't have a player locator board out suggest that they put one out, and add your name and phone number with a description of the type of players you are looking for.
2) Set realistic expectations for mature gamers. Gaming every week with a wife and children is not possible. We have a set schedule of the third Saturday of the month for Group A, and the third Sunday of the month for Group B. This way we can all schedule our hectic lives so we can game at least once a month. Sometimes even this is hard, and I know many older players who will be turned off by a game that tries to meet more often than is feasible. People also get fed up with ad-hoc scheduling and missed sessions so beware.
3) Listen to people you know or work with and when they say they used to game in college make a mental note. We have found that almost everyone knows people who have played RPG's and may be just as desperate as you too play. This is the only way we have gathered more members for our group, and at points we have had close to 30 members in Rural Vermont.
4) Find a group and start small. Add more people as you get settled in to a groove.
5) My final piece of advice is that if you can't find a group that already exists don't be afraid to start making phone calls yourself. I had to do this and will never regret it, especially after several years playing with a dedicated mature group that has given me some of the finest gaming in my life.
A piece of me wishes that I could play 5 nights a week like I did in college but with work, home, and being an assistant fire chiefin the town that I live in that is something I would never find time to do again.
EDIT: Forgot to mention we have no FLGS within a couple of hours drive from our area, thank goodness for ecommerce
Well since I come from Vermont which is one of the most gamer unfriendly areas I know of I will give you my 2 cents, and describe how we went from nothing to a group of 20+ MATURE gamers playing every month.
It all started like ten years ago.
I met a couple for the first time at a convention and we hit it off right away.
Next year saw them again at another convention, and started talking about home and where we lived. Found out we lived in the same town of 2000 people in Southern Vermont and started talking about how we wanted to play more often than conventions a couple of times a year.
It took about 6 months before I started making calls and planning to start a game as I was tired of not being able to play.
We started off with 6 people.
As it turned out, each of us knew one or two other people who played at some time or other and asked them to join us. Each of them knew one or two other people and so on...
After about a two and a half years we had gained through word of mouth about 20 players and our once a month game was split into a Saturday and a Sunday session because a single game had gotten way too big.
Due to the play style of most of the people we do not keep anyone who I would consider a "Munchkin" for long as they really hate the type of game we play but for us old farts (30+ age range, married, and most of us cut our RPG teeth in the Red Box D&D days) it is what we want to play.
Since most of us have been around RPG's for so long we have some exceptional DM's and many of us have experience playing almost anything you can think of. Many of us also run events at local conventions and are known to play RPG's, Card Games, mini's, and board games.
So now for my advice...
1) Attend local conventions and meet people there. If the con doesn't have a player locator board out suggest that they put one out, and add your name and phone number with a description of the type of players you are looking for.
2) Set realistic expectations for mature gamers. Gaming every week with a wife and children is not possible. We have a set schedule of the third Saturday of the month for Group A, and the third Sunday of the month for Group B. This way we can all schedule our hectic lives so we can game at least once a month. Sometimes even this is hard, and I know many older players who will be turned off by a game that tries to meet more often than is feasible. People also get fed up with ad-hoc scheduling and missed sessions so beware.
3) Listen to people you know or work with and when they say they used to game in college make a mental note. We have found that almost everyone knows people who have played RPG's and may be just as desperate as you too play. This is the only way we have gathered more members for our group, and at points we have had close to 30 members in Rural Vermont.
4) Find a group and start small. Add more people as you get settled in to a groove.
5) My final piece of advice is that if you can't find a group that already exists don't be afraid to start making phone calls yourself. I had to do this and will never regret it, especially after several years playing with a dedicated mature group that has given me some of the finest gaming in my life.
A piece of me wishes that I could play 5 nights a week like I did in college but with work, home, and being an assistant fire chiefin the town that I live in that is something I would never find time to do again.
EDIT: Forgot to mention we have no FLGS within a couple of hours drive from our area, thank goodness for ecommerce
Last edited:
derelictjay
Explorer
Yeah know about the FLGS and getting the (use the term loosely because of where I'm from) degenerates. I was 24 (that was 2 years ago) and about to start a new game. I needed some players to flesh out the group. I chatted with two, and decided, maybe I better not go to the FLGS to find new players. Oh, and one was a ?mature? 30 year old.
But then again, the problem might be that I live in on the south end of Hades, and the majority of the people here are jerks and other unsavory types.
But then again, the problem might be that I live in on the south end of Hades, and the majority of the people here are jerks and other unsavory types.
