@Ovinomancer , let's discuss the concept of the confirmation roll in detail (I'll go with the base +12 attack you mention):
You roll a 1. Probability 0.05
Assuming our current confirmation DC 15, the Probability of a Mishap is 0.10 (you only need to roll a 3 or better to avoid the mishap).
That makes the chance of a mishap 0.005 or 1 in 200.
A mishap is typically dropping your weapon or falling prone. As I mentioned in another post, this is only a problem if you've already used your free object interaction (can't pick up your weapon) or have already used half your speed or more (can't stand up). In other words, it is rarely an issue because the PC can recover from the mishap easily.
Moving along to disasters (breaking weapon, hitting ally, etc.): you have to fail a second confirmation roll, so again just 0.10.
This means the chance of a disaster is 0.0005 or 1 in 2000! Translating to the idea of golf, this would be about once in 27 rounds, which is a lot of golf.
Now, given the (typical) 4 attacks per round a 20th level fighter makes, we have:
View attachment 128357
So, the chance of a mishap is less than 2% during an entire round. The chance of a disaster is about 1 in 500 rounds (not attacks, rounds!).
Personally, I don't find those odds unreasonable, and that is why we use this system.
For a level 1 attacker with +4, the confirmation roll fails 50% of the time. So a mishap would be 1 in 40 attacks, and a disaster 1 in 80 attacks.
Finally, if those odds still seem to steep, chance the DC for the confirmation roll to 10. Obviously at this point you only fail the confirmation rolls also on a natural 1 and would have to roll 3 in a row for a disaster or 1 in 8000 attacks or once in 2000 rounds of battle.
Ultimately, the point is that it is possible to come up with a system where the odds work, even for highly trained people. Professionals have bad things happen. For instance in a football game I watched the other night, the quarterback got the ball and ended up tripping over his own lineman's foot when he backed up, stumbled and fell. Since I don't like that team, it was hilarious!
Things like that happen. Maybe you don't want that chance in your games, which is fine, but myself and others (probably the OP) do want them. So, it can be done. Others might question with such a rarity then why bother? Because it is there and that element of chance lends more excitement and uncertainty to the game.