The Shaman
First Post
This, squared.
How to influence a group's rules usage without alienating them?
- Thread starter Kzach
- Start date
The Shaman
First Post
This, cubed.
Mmmmm...not quite. Phrasing matters, to be sure. Tone & body language matter as well, if applicable.
But equal in importance to phrasing, IME, is timing. And suggesting changes from Day One- or here, Day Zero- is usually going to engender a bit of negativity. Maybe after you've "paid your dues", or if you were a buddy to all involved before joining the group...but as the new guy at the table?
Recipe for trouble.
Glade Riven
Adventurer
I just don't necessarally think it is a bad thing for a new group to know how a new player is used to playing and vise versa. I know I'd rather know about potential conflicts in play style and rectify those issues before play rather than during. Now, if someone insists on not compromising or entering into the social contract, well...there is issue.
Heck, I've ran into it with freinds I've known. The main DM is rather open to adding stuff, but I was starting a Pathfinder campaign. A player started trying to pull things from the 3.5 draconomicon (which none of us even owned, and what he was wanting to pull in he screwed up the rules for anyways), and it took a couple of times of telling him "Dude, Pathfinder only" before he got it into his head. Ironically, I probably would have said yes if he had asked about it, but he didn't. Other people are stricter DMs than I am, and that's fine.
But we're pretty much agreeing on the main point: Don't be a jerk.
Heck, I've ran into it with freinds I've known. The main DM is rather open to adding stuff, but I was starting a Pathfinder campaign. A player started trying to pull things from the 3.5 draconomicon (which none of us even owned, and what he was wanting to pull in he screwed up the rules for anyways), and it took a couple of times of telling him "Dude, Pathfinder only" before he got it into his head. Ironically, I probably would have said yes if he had asked about it, but he didn't. Other people are stricter DMs than I am, and that's fine.
But we're pretty much agreeing on the main point: Don't be a jerk.
Glade Riven
Adventurer
Then deal with it or move on. If you have noticed that you have a tendency to destroy groups, that suggests that you know where the issue lies and don't want to change.I asked, but she turned me down. And I'd already bought the corsage
I can't change that it's always their fault.
Mishihari Lord
First Post
As others have essentially said, you're better off finding a group that plays the way you want to play. If I were a player in the established game and someone came in with the attitude that the game needed to change, my response would be "We're playing the way we want to play, if you don't like it you don't need to be here."
Glade Riven
Adventurer
Well, if that's the attitude you bring to the table, I wouldn't want to play with you, either.
DragonLancer
Hero
How about changing your ways, rather than trying to blame others? No offense here, but thats not the attitude to have. You can't join a group and expect them to change their established ways. You need to adapt.
invokethehojo
First Post
Just lie, it will be the easiest thing.
The important thing here is the game, and your proclivities won't mess up their game if you lie A LITTLE. Tell them you had a bunch of books (preferably list off the ones that have the materials you will need to build the character you want), but something happened to them. They were destroyed by your kids or your mom/wife sold them. Or just say what happened to me: I left in my local gaming store and when the owner couldn't pay the rent the landlord changed the locks and put everything in storage until the owner can pay (it's been two years now). However your books were 'lost' you have since been forced to rely on DDI, which you have paid a year in advance, so it would be a waste of your money not to use it.
Unless you roll low on your bluff test this will present them with enough incentive to make an exception for you. No more lies after this. Game on.
The important thing here is the game, and your proclivities won't mess up their game if you lie A LITTLE. Tell them you had a bunch of books (preferably list off the ones that have the materials you will need to build the character you want), but something happened to them. They were destroyed by your kids or your mom/wife sold them. Or just say what happened to me: I left in my local gaming store and when the owner couldn't pay the rent the landlord changed the locks and put everything in storage until the owner can pay (it's been two years now). However your books were 'lost' you have since been forced to rely on DDI, which you have paid a year in advance, so it would be a waste of your money not to use it.
Unless you roll low on your bluff test this will present them with enough incentive to make an exception for you. No more lies after this. Game on.
