(humor) The Most Broken Spell Competition

[Edena_of_Neith]

I wish to start a most broken spell contest.
That is, post the spell (or spells) you think are the most outlandish, ridiculous, and otherwise unbalanced here.
It does not matter why you think the spell is outlandish, ridiculous, or otherwise unbalanced - if you think it is, that's a good enough reason in itself! Post it here!

The idea of the contest is to see who can come up with the most insane spell published.
By published, I'm referring to D&D Classic, 1st Edition AD&D, 2nd Edition AD&D, 3.0 D&D, 3.5 D&D, all of the d20 supplements for 3.0 D&D and 3.5 D&D, and Hackmaster. Plus anything from Dragon, Dungeon, Polyhedron, White Dwarf, Imagine or other magazines. Plus anything else you can find. Plus any home brewed spells.
If you think it's ridiculous, outlandish, insane, ridiculous, ruinous, grevious, or otherwise horrific, this is the place to post a general description of it for all of us to see!

(For copyright reasons, don't post the spell exactly as given in the books. A general description of it's nauseating effects should be sufficient.
Do, however, put in your source for the spell.)

I dare you to post your unbalancing spells.
And then, I dare the next poster to top the outlandish spell posted before him or her.
And then, I dare the NEXT poster to top that outlandish spell.
And then, I dare the NEXT Poster to top THAT outlandish spell.
And so on, into the ultimate realm of unreason.

Who is up to the challenge?!

- - -

I shall start off the tournament for the most broken spell with that old favorite: Harm.

Spell - Harm.
Source - 1st Edition Player's Handbook, 2nd Edition Player's Handbook, 3.0 Player's Handbook
Type - Clerical 6th level
General description: With this spell, the cleric drains all hit points except 1 to 4 from any target creature touched, except for undead (who are instead regenerated of all but 1 to 4 hit points.)
The target also develops a disease of some sort.
No saving throw is allowed.
Spell resistance/magic resistance works as per whatever edition of the game you are using (which means, in 1E you're toast, in 2E you're fairly safe, and I don't know what it means in 3.0 or 3.5.)
This spell also has a Heal version, which heals everything and drains undead creatures of 1 to 4 hit points, and damages undead creatures of all but 1 to 4 hit points.

 

[Tarrasque Wrangler]

I wouldn't call it broken, as it's got a pretty expensive material component and you have to know the true name of the target creature, but I never understood why anyone in their right mind would cast Spiritwrack (1E PHB, maybe 2E as well?). Basically, it strips a fiend of a ton of HP (note: not killing it), and imprisons it on it's home plane to be tortured for a number of years = your MU experience level. After which it comes looking for you, seriously PO'ed.

It's a 6th level spell, so a 12th level MU casts this on, oh, let's say Orcus. By some miracle, Orcus blows his magic resistance roll, and he's sent to that old torture chamber from Heck. Now it sucks to be him, but Ol' Ram Horns can do 12 years of torture standing on his head. Only now, he's got a major vendetta against your older, feebler mage. Look out!

 

[William Ronald]

I think one of the most irritating spells was the 1st edition and 2nd edition versions of color spray. The spells had wildly variable effects, depending on the hit dice of the creatures you cast at it. The durations were also pretty short in 1st and 2nd edition terms. (This has been corrected in 3.0, as the effets at least last for one round. If I recall correctly, the earlier editions had some effects lasting segments.)

 

[Benben]

Let's not forget the 1st edition classic:

Chromatic Orb

Disadvantages: Takes a roll to hit and the target gets a save. Magic Resistance (1st ed spell) applies.

Advantages: 1st level spell. If caster level is greater than 12th then if the target fails the save it dies, if it makes the save then it's paralyzed.

Oh darn: death or paralysis out of a first level spell.

Is it any wonder we haven't seen it recreated in 3E?

 

[William Ronald]

Benben,

Perhaps the game designers saw something like this occur:

DM portraying Demogorgon: "You are out of your mightiest spells, wizard! I shall indeed enjoy feasting on your soul... slowly."

PC: "Take that, fiend!" The character casts a chromatic orb.

The DM roles the dice for magic resistance, and the spell breaks Demogorgon's magic resistance. The DM rolls a saving throw, but it is a natural 1.

DM: (Frustrated): "Okay, Demogorgon drops dead as the chromatic orb strikes him in the chest."

The players shout for joy.

 

[S'mon]

Fireball - 1d6 damage/level to EVERYONE in a 40' diameter sphere, out to a much longer range than any missile weapon. Mix with Fly & can you say 'army killer'? And it doesn't just kill 0th-level (1st level 3e) grunts, a couple of these from a high level wizard can kill a platoon of mid level fighters.

 

[Sabaron]

Encyclopedia Magica Volume 1, 2e

Algarth's Embattlement.

Store 6 spells in a box, release 2 per round as a free action anytime later.

 

[Daedrova]

How about the new one from Unearthed Arcana: Bring Down the Moon- 8th level spell that grants the benefits of resting for one night to all allies, and the kicker is casters regain ALL previously used spell slots for that day! Oh yeah, and it grants the effects of a prayer spell (+1 to allies rolls, -1 to enemies).

 

[Kweezil]

My personal favourite for the title:

Discharge
From the Shadow Elves supplement for mystara.
For the life of me, I can't remember the specific details of the spell...
7th level Priest spell, created a fireball style effect with a radius measured in the 100s of feet, any creature affected had to make a Save vs. Death Magic or die, regardless of damage, and even if they made their save, and survived the damage, they were stricken with a wasting disease.
The material component: a soulstone (a uranium fuel rod)

Mmm, micro-nuke

 

[Edena_of_Neith]

Gemidon's Paralytic Missile

The Spell: Gemidon's Paralytic Missile
The Source: The Waterdeep City of Splendors Boxed Set 2nd Edition
Type of Spell: Wizard 2nd level

This spell fires a single bolt, and that bolt always hits, like magic missile does.
The target is paralyzed for 1 round per level of the wizard.
The target gets a saving throw, for HALF DURATION of the paralysis.
Magic resistance (spell resistance) works normally.

2nd level Mage sees supermonster.
2nd level Mage fires Gemidon's Paralytic Missile.
2nd level Mage paralyzes monster for 2 rounds.
Supermonster makes save, and is paralyzed for 1 round instead.
Mage kills paralyzed supermonster. (automatic, as per 2nd edition rules.)

Better than Power Word Stun, no?