I don't know if this is funny, scary, or sad...

[Aaron L]

I love the part where only the soft armors, such as leather and padded, hinder dexterity "because these armors are are inflexible
and clutter your movement range.", but not plate, because "while these armors are heavy they are flexible and specifically designed to move naturally to your movements".

Very very entertaining.

 

[Teflon Billy]

Simply baffling.

I'm sending him a buck.

 

[Emiricol]

I don't care if he is serious I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried! It ranks right up there with the stuff the Iraqi information minister said for sheer joyous absurdity.

Example:

Morph
During the course of your adventure your player character may evolve into a
different race if he so wishes.
To do so, you must take the challenge rating of the monster and times it by 2. If your character is
of the a level at least equal twice the monster's challenge rating or higher, he may Morph into that
particular creature.
However, in doing so his level will drop to 1st level. Paying all the experience points earned thus far as the
cost of Morphing. Once more causing him to lose all his hit dice, attack bonus, saves and
special benefits gained thus far due to class. He must once again start his adventuring career from 1st level.
He does however keep all his Stat bonuses earned through out his career before he morphed.

Mark any characters of this type as "morphed" + creature type.
Example: 1st level Morphed Centaur.

Or, who could forget this gem!

Stat Changes
Str no longer warrants a bonus to base attack for Melee weapons.
Unless the target is wearing Armor or has Natural Armor. In which
case Str does grant you a bonus to your base attack, but the bonus granted
may not be higher than the armor's AC worth.
Magical bonuses to Armor are not affected by Str in this way.
Neither are shields
Secondly, Str is restricted by the wearing of armor. See Armor for
more details.

 

[Ace32]

lol, it seems as though we flooded the server.. I'm getting an error message about exceeding bandwith..

is that a good or bad thing?

 

[Angcuru]

no, no, no, no, no. Candide was a satire. Arms and the Man was a satire. The Mouse that Roared was a satire. This is just garbage written by someone with WAAY too much time on their hands.

 

[Emiricol]

I'm slowly coming around to that perspective as well. I just found it hard to believe it could be *serious* !! But the guy has done waaaay too much for it to really be a joke...

hehehe great stuff

 

[Feathercircle]

But wait! There's more!

He's been continuing to post at the yahoo group, and as far as I'm able to tell, he's enthusiastic and completely serious about all of this. If it's an act, he's a far better bluff than I am.

But as my post subject says, it gets worse... if you've gotten through the 3e add-on with your brain mostly intact, you might just survive his oh-so-wonderfully-copyright-violating D&D 4e, which can be found here.

Here's an exerpt, to let you know what you're in for:
"Gods
God is the person appointed by the players to run the game. It stands
for Game Omnipotent Deity. Don't forget the players are the ones who
hold the power. So, if ever you encounter a bossy or unjust God, the
power lies in the hands of the players who are a form of senate to
impeach the God. For this reason, a God should always be kind
and courteous to the players.

Gods may be known by one of three names, which are God, Dog or Gol.
Dog stands for Dominator of Game.
And Gol means Game Over-Lord."


Just don't say I didn't warn you.

 

[Wormwood]

Okay, NOW it makes sense.

 

[d4]

I love the part where only the soft armors, such as leather and padded, hinder dexterity "because these armors are inflexible
and clutter your movement range.", but not plate, because "while these armors are heavy they are flexible and specifically designed to move naturally to your movements".

well of course. everyone knows that hard metal full plate armor is more flexible than something like clothing.

so light armor restricts your Dex but you keep your Str bonus. heavy armor restricts your Str but you keep your Dex bonus.

so now all the "tank" fighters with 18 Str and 10 Dex will be wearing leather, and all the "swashbuckler" fighters with 10 Str and 18 Dex will be wearing full plate.

sure, that makes sense.

my favorite bit was that your attack bonus is modified by how much damage your weapon does, under the assumption that small, light weapons like daggers are easier to swing than a big, heavy weapon... but monks' unarmed combat damage is specifically affected by the same rule, meaning that high-level monks might end up with a worse attack roll than low-level monks, because they do so much more damage.

Originally posted by dok
It's almost as though he's writing it under the assumption that he'll be standing over your shoulder while you read it to clarify every point where he's vague or unclear...

it sure is written that way. in where he's talking about armor being damage reduction now, he mentions that "some" characters, like assassins, will know how to use daggers and other low-damage weapons effectively against people in heavy armor, bypassing their armor's damage reduction. but no game mechanic describing who can do it, with what kind of weapons, against which armors. we have to wait for this guy to stop by our house during our game to decide on the spot for us or something.

 

[d4]

If you chat online you are encouraged to form Clans with your group of players. You can
mark your screename or profile with a D4 to mark that you are using 4th Edition Dungeons
& Dragons ™ rules.

just for the record, this is not the origin of my screen name.