I hate Christmas
- Thread starter Storm Raven
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Ralts Bloodthorne
First Post
Fruedian slip?reveal said:
Kisanji Arael
First Post
Wow, this thread has gone on a long time. Almost not worth posting, since at this point I wouldn't be surprised if StormRaven never checked this thread again. But, in the off chance...
StormRaven: I think my only disagreement with your point is that you assume a very strict A or B scenario. They did not get me something I wanted. (got you there) I have tried every way possible to get them to understand me. (yup, I see where you come from) They are utterly thoughtless. (uhhh...)
See, at this point, I think it's important to remember that there are mediums of absolutes. They did think about you. They obviously do love you and care for you; they spent two hundred dollars on you. They didn't buy the pen to make you unhappy. They didn't buy the pen and put poison in its inkwell. Things could have been worse
In all honesty, it's probably your father trying to share a hobby with his son. Eh, whatever. You've made your sentiments clear in this matter; he should respect that.
The only problem I have with your letter is that I was raised in a very polite family, and it seems to break "the rules". I opened doors for girls. I speak with my family's sense of gentility. I think that you could get the same message across with a few more "please"s. and "while I appreciate the effort you put into giving gifts"... I think it might be nice to consider thast you can still be just as abrupt and curt about current gifts without making relatives feel guilty or sad about some of the others that they have given in the past. Considering that you feel guilty about returning gifts when you know your parents will get the return on their credit carrds, it seems a bit inconsistent that you would send a letter that would focus almost as much on shock value as on directness and abruptness. THe letter goes beyond losing subtlety, which is what people have expressed the most disapproval of.
Everyone not SR:
"Why Peter, it's... an arcade style Galaga machine. How... considerate." -Lois
"Move!" Peter, shoving Lois through window.
I actually do side with him on this one. Was I raised in a rich environment? Both parents were teachers, and one of those only a tutor. Not more to say. I think that it is a waste to give gifts that were more in your own interests. It's a sense of living vicariously through the gifts you give. When a child is five, you're allowed to get him an electrc train, because he'll enjoy it as much as you will. When he's ten, you can get him a "family computer" and he'll still go nuts over it. As they get older, however, they get more independant, and will eventually begin to become very sceptical of "personal motives". Example:
"Dad, why did you get me a puppy?"
"You'll love it. He's a thoroughbred, cost over a hundred dollars."
"Dad, I'm allergic to dogs."
"Well, I also got you a set of shots for the next two years, those allergies will be gone in no time!"
"Did Mom say you can't get another dog?"
"Utterly beside the point. He'll be great! We can take him hunting!"
"I don't own a gun. And I live in New Jersey!"
"uhhh... Alligator hunting. In the sewers!"
"I'm calling Mom."
Also, there are definitely gifts that have purely selfish reasons for being given. Example:
A few years ago, an estranged godmother gave as a gift (complicated sentence, bear with me) a cow and two sheep to a needy African family. She gave this present to me. The problem was that I had asked for money, so that my parents wouldn't have to pay for all of a computer themselves. Also, one is not very concerned with charity at thirteen. The problem I have with giving charity as a gift is that it only makes the gift-giver feel good; you get to feel guilty about not giving the charity yourself. Merry Christmas!
That's all I have to say, I guess.
StormRaven: I think my only disagreement with your point is that you assume a very strict A or B scenario. They did not get me something I wanted. (got you there) I have tried every way possible to get them to understand me. (yup, I see where you come from) They are utterly thoughtless. (uhhh...)
See, at this point, I think it's important to remember that there are mediums of absolutes. They did think about you. They obviously do love you and care for you; they spent two hundred dollars on you. They didn't buy the pen to make you unhappy. They didn't buy the pen and put poison in its inkwell. Things could have been worse
In all honesty, it's probably your father trying to share a hobby with his son. Eh, whatever. You've made your sentiments clear in this matter; he should respect that.
The only problem I have with your letter is that I was raised in a very polite family, and it seems to break "the rules". I opened doors for girls. I speak with my family's sense of gentility. I think that you could get the same message across with a few more "please"s. and "while I appreciate the effort you put into giving gifts"... I think it might be nice to consider thast you can still be just as abrupt and curt about current gifts without making relatives feel guilty or sad about some of the others that they have given in the past. Considering that you feel guilty about returning gifts when you know your parents will get the return on their credit carrds, it seems a bit inconsistent that you would send a letter that would focus almost as much on shock value as on directness and abruptness. THe letter goes beyond losing subtlety, which is what people have expressed the most disapproval of.
Everyone not SR:
"Why Peter, it's... an arcade style Galaga machine. How... considerate." -Lois
"Move!" Peter, shoving Lois through window.
I actually do side with him on this one. Was I raised in a rich environment? Both parents were teachers, and one of those only a tutor. Not more to say. I think that it is a waste to give gifts that were more in your own interests. It's a sense of living vicariously through the gifts you give. When a child is five, you're allowed to get him an electrc train, because he'll enjoy it as much as you will. When he's ten, you can get him a "family computer" and he'll still go nuts over it. As they get older, however, they get more independant, and will eventually begin to become very sceptical of "personal motives". Example:
"Dad, why did you get me a puppy?"
"You'll love it. He's a thoroughbred, cost over a hundred dollars."
"Dad, I'm allergic to dogs."
"Well, I also got you a set of shots for the next two years, those allergies will be gone in no time!"
"Did Mom say you can't get another dog?"
"Utterly beside the point. He'll be great! We can take him hunting!"
"I don't own a gun. And I live in New Jersey!"
"uhhh... Alligator hunting. In the sewers!"
"I'm calling Mom."
Also, there are definitely gifts that have purely selfish reasons for being given. Example:
A few years ago, an estranged godmother gave as a gift (complicated sentence, bear with me) a cow and two sheep to a needy African family. She gave this present to me. The problem was that I had asked for money, so that my parents wouldn't have to pay for all of a computer themselves. Also, one is not very concerned with charity at thirteen. The problem I have with giving charity as a gift is that it only makes the gift-giver feel good; you get to feel guilty about not giving the charity yourself. Merry Christmas!
That's all I have to say, I guess.
Jonny Nexus
First Post
Dingleberry said:
Exactly. My happiness comes from people loving me enough to give me gifts. It doesn't come from receiving things I want. If there's things I want, I'll buy them myself. There's no faking involved.
To me, the purpose of a gift is for someone to buy an item that they think you might like. If you specify what you want, then you're basically buying yourself a gift, but using them as a finance/purchasing/delivery service.
Which just seems absurd to me, in a way that's nicely illustrated by this post:
Fenris said:
Since you don't seem to like the process of gift exchanging, I'd say you should take this advice:
Crothian said:
Then you can spend the money that you would have spent on gifts for other people on buying what you really want. The end result is the same, but you hugely simplify the logistics.
Alternatively, I'd suggest that you simply email your bank details to your family and ask them to transfer money directly into your account, and you can buy the stuff yourself.
Aris Dragonborn
First Post
Long thread, so I don't know if this has been mentioned already....
SR, do something different this year.
Don't make a list.
Seriously.
If you have no expectations of what gifts you might get, then you can't feel let down when you don't get those gifts, yes?
The saying, I believe, goes "It is better to give than to recieve."
SR, do something different this year.
Don't make a list.
Seriously.
If you have no expectations of what gifts you might get, then you can't feel let down when you don't get those gifts, yes?
The saying, I believe, goes "It is better to give than to recieve."
diaglo
Adventurer
Infiniti2000 said:My bad. I failed my Sense Sarcasm check.
Just for the record, I couldn't care less where people donate money, in my name or not, as long as it's from a pre-determined list I made up. Then, if it's not from that list, you're being rude and selfish.
mang, i spit coffee all over myself.
evileeyore
Mrrrph
Storm Raving I think your a seriously repressed and angry person. I can dig it so am I. The difference being I when I get gifts I find uses for them, especially if it was soemthing I didn't ask for. Just getting means they thought enough to stop and get something for you, not having forgot you yet again.
I can look around my room and easily see many things I never asked for (and never use) but cherish none the less. For instance:
A lifesized cardboard standup of G'kar from Babylon 5, a hand painted wooden 'Bunny Crossing' sign that looks like a carrot, a devilish mime (I hate mimes) puppet, a broken plastic Hydrolisk figure from Blizzard's Starcraft game, and two antique (and non-functional) propane cutting torches.
Every single one of those gifts was something I would have never asked for (especially the mime) but I cherish them nonetheless.
The Cardboard G'kar came from my Mom, a traditionally non-geek rabid hippy who went into our FLGS (at great risk to her sanity) one day lost and confused and asked a counter person what to get her twenty year old son. The counter rep asked what I was into and all she could think of was Babylon 5. This was after B-5 was off the air... BTW this was a flush year and we had exchanged gift lists. So really she could have easily gotten me something I 'wanted', but I'm glad she got me something I liked.*
The hand made and painted Bunny Crossing came from an uncle who living across the country and never really talking to me (I never talk much with family outside my Mom) only knew when I was younger I loved rabbits and stuffed animals. He also remembered that I still get a stuffed bunny every Easter from my Ma. He had no money, but plenty of scrap wood, time and skill. Thats the last gift I got from him (he's not dead, just 'disappeared' again like he does every ten years).
The devil mime came from a friend that traditionally goes out of his way to get 'bad' gifts for people. It now hangs upside down on the wall above a bowl of plastic scorpions, above its feet is a sign that says "Learn Thy Words". I chuckle every time I see it.
The broken Hydralisk came from a friend that knows I'm a Blizzard fanatic, but also knows I refuse to buy 'useless' stuff for myself. He also knows I love challenges. He found the broken Hydralisk in a discount bin for 5 bucks and knew it would be a big hit. It now sits atop my monitor and constantly threatens to Zerg Rush my keyboard.
The antique torches came from another uncle. He was overseeing the cleaning out of his buildings storage facilities (they were moving to a new production plant) and the two torches were on the 'discard' list. He broke Union Regs and took 'em home for me. At the time I was studying to be a welder and he thought I'd appreciate the history of owning some 'old school' cutting and welding torches, the kind his grandad used (he is in the same company and union g-grandad was in). Probably actually had g-grandad's hands on 'em at one point. They sit atop a shelf gathering dust, but I enjoy them. Ohh yeah, the same uncle sent me g-grandad's old union pin too. Its on a cardboard placcard I made for it next to the torches. These gifts are probably the most meanigful, even though my uncle knows I really don't care much about family, I do care alot about history.
So SR, its not getting what you asked for. Its about getting what someone else wants to give you.
I can look around my room and easily see many things I never asked for (and never use) but cherish none the less. For instance:
A lifesized cardboard standup of G'kar from Babylon 5, a hand painted wooden 'Bunny Crossing' sign that looks like a carrot, a devilish mime (I hate mimes) puppet, a broken plastic Hydrolisk figure from Blizzard's Starcraft game, and two antique (and non-functional) propane cutting torches.
Every single one of those gifts was something I would have never asked for (especially the mime) but I cherish them nonetheless.
The Cardboard G'kar came from my Mom, a traditionally non-geek rabid hippy who went into our FLGS (at great risk to her sanity) one day lost and confused and asked a counter person what to get her twenty year old son. The counter rep asked what I was into and all she could think of was Babylon 5. This was after B-5 was off the air... BTW this was a flush year and we had exchanged gift lists. So really she could have easily gotten me something I 'wanted', but I'm glad she got me something I liked.*
The hand made and painted Bunny Crossing came from an uncle who living across the country and never really talking to me (I never talk much with family outside my Mom) only knew when I was younger I loved rabbits and stuffed animals. He also remembered that I still get a stuffed bunny every Easter from my Ma. He had no money, but plenty of scrap wood, time and skill. Thats the last gift I got from him (he's not dead, just 'disappeared' again like he does every ten years).
The devil mime came from a friend that traditionally goes out of his way to get 'bad' gifts for people. It now hangs upside down on the wall above a bowl of plastic scorpions, above its feet is a sign that says "Learn Thy Words". I chuckle every time I see it.
The broken Hydralisk came from a friend that knows I'm a Blizzard fanatic, but also knows I refuse to buy 'useless' stuff for myself. He also knows I love challenges. He found the broken Hydralisk in a discount bin for 5 bucks and knew it would be a big hit. It now sits atop my monitor and constantly threatens to Zerg Rush my keyboard.
The antique torches came from another uncle. He was overseeing the cleaning out of his buildings storage facilities (they were moving to a new production plant) and the two torches were on the 'discard' list. He broke Union Regs and took 'em home for me. At the time I was studying to be a welder and he thought I'd appreciate the history of owning some 'old school' cutting and welding torches, the kind his grandad used (he is in the same company and union g-grandad was in). Probably actually had g-grandad's hands on 'em at one point. They sit atop a shelf gathering dust, but I enjoy them. Ohh yeah, the same uncle sent me g-grandad's old union pin too. Its on a cardboard placcard I made for it next to the torches. These gifts are probably the most meanigful, even though my uncle knows I really don't care much about family, I do care alot about history.
So SR, its not getting what you asked for. Its about getting what someone else wants to give you.
DungeonmasterCal
First Post
"God bless us, every one."
0_o
0_o
PirateMary
First Post
I don't think he's coming back, at least not to post. Maybe he has seen the error in his selfish and rude ways. Maybe he realized he was projecting his own short-comings onto innocent family members. Maybe he's revising his demand list. Maybe he's shipping the pen to d20Dwarf. Or maybe, just maybe, he's removing that 3ft. pole topped with the head of the Grinch from his bum. Who knows?
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